The new day falls thundering
as an avalanche
racing to consume the old day
I grope for purchase
on the walls of what I know
the status quo
I resist the rush
the crush
of the tumbling hours
that furnish my
living labyrinth
as stones and bones
in a cemetery tomb.
2007-07-11 09:25:13 · 4 answers · asked by pat 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
yes there is some ambiguity there. I will insert " as I resist the stones and bones in a cemetary tomb. Thank you for pointing that out.
2007-07-13 04:31:43 · update #1
I thought the poem was well done, but the last three lines leave me wondering: do you resist the rush, the crush...etc. "as" stones and bones resist the rush/crush in a cemetery tomb? There is a disconnect that I think you could clear up with a revision. Otherwise, good imagery.
2007-07-12 20:02:30 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surreal.
2007-07-11 16:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagery is interesting: it is like a poetic memento mori.
2007-07-11 16:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? You are a really good poet!!!! Your poems take me into the world you describe(good thing)!!!! You have talent! Use it right and keep writing!! :D
2007-07-11 16:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by *luna's lover* 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋