Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "****. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."
She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE penis.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?
2007-11-08 21:31:15 · 15 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles
2007-11-08 21:31:11 · 32 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys
Polls and surveys
2007-11-08 21:30:49 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
2007-11-08 21:30:32 · 14 answers · asked by ells 4 in Cooking & Recipes
is there anyway to eliminate student loan, as we could eliminate credit card debt through filing bankruptcy, what about student loan, do we have to pay it, even though we were extremely poor?, what's the solution?
2007-11-08 21:30:29 · 7 answers · asked by Thomas Jefferson 1 in Credit
c. no circulation through the body
d.mixing of oxygenated & non oxygenated blood
2007-11-08 21:30:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Medicine
A Blonde's Year in Review
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.
March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.
May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.
June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.
September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.
2007-11-08 21:30:01 · 8 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles
2007-11-08 21:29:58 · 4 answers · asked by Cheese F 1 in Law & Ethics
or are they aware that they are Protestants to start with?
I've seen a question here about where the name "Protestants" came from and what the Protestants are protesting about, that's why I thought to ask if the majority of Protestants no longer know why they are being called as such.
2007-11-08 21:29:26 · 9 answers · asked by Ťango 3 in Religion & Spirituality
A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
Perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Golly, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird ..."
"Oh yeah?" the man asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
asked,I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't
you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, and philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The man looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford
that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me 'cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20.
Just make the guy an offer!"
The man offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The man is delighted.
One day the man comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if
I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the man.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at
the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy says incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees
and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic man screams, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!"
2007-11-08 21:29:19 · 2 answers · asked by Gina B 4 in Jokes & Riddles
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
2007-11-08 21:29:07 · 12 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles
I have girl fraind . now I am going to stop our communication because during our sexuall intercourse always comes very bad smell and gelious from her vagina it is trouble .she wash every day 2 times(even if befor and after sex)and she is negativ from any venerial deseas also but what shall she do or me also pls...help
2007-11-08 21:28:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health
whats a good song for when a relationship breaks up. a long one, and its like i miss you, i want you back?
i need a good song like that right now.
2007-11-08 21:27:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Music
2007-11-08 21:27:26 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
...elaborate as you wish....
2007-11-08 21:26:11 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
1. When you hear the word "wine" what's the first thing that comes to mind?
2. What do you love about wine? (Taste, experience, what it does for you, anything that floats your boat!)
2007-11-08 21:25:05 · 8 answers · asked by Bellavita 5 in Beer, Wine & Spirits
My boyfriend of over one year lost his job a month ago. He is on unemployment and seems OK with it. I, on the other hand, am freaking out about it. We have fought when I've tried to offer suggestions on where he can apply or asked him questions about it and he says he doesn't need the criticism, just my support. I understand that but a woman needs SECURITY too. I am now trying to be supportive and keep my mouth shut but I still don't feel that he is putting forth the effort to find a job. He is supposed to move in with me in a few months but I can't let him if he doesn't have a job. I am getting resentful for paying for stuff most of the time when we are out. So - we're not going out anymore because I don't want to pay anymore - he should be picking up his fair share. At what point is it ok for me to say something again and then - what do I say to express my concerns?
2007-11-08 21:24:59 · 4 answers · asked by WShay 1 in Singles & Dating
i dont know wether to belive that there ever humans landing on the moon
2007-11-08 21:24:30 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Astronomy & Space
Polls and surveys i am
2007-11-08 21:24:10 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
Surely now would be a great time to be doing them, but all we seem to get is Jesus's face in a slice of bread. Nothing that has been filmed, of tested, of proven to be miraculous. Why is that? When we were far more privative we got loads. Isn't that strange?
2007-11-08 21:23:39 · 12 answers · asked by Birdy is my real name 6 in Religion & Spirituality
they were collecting bee's wax.
2007-11-08 21:23:12 · 10 answers · asked by Bumumble 3 in Polls & Surveys
I picture him as a healer, with great compassion and laughter, surrounding himself with beauty and treading dark dark paths amidst suffering.
And I see him laughing, and crying in sorrow and understanding.
(I am not religiously Christian, I do however believe in the Christ consciousness and Christ as a spiritual man, if anyone wonders or cares)
2007-11-08 21:23:04 · 13 answers · asked by Twilight 6 in Religion & Spirituality
What is the lift (in newtons) due to Bernoulli's principle ona wing of area 78 m^2 if the air passes over the top and bottom surfaces at speeds of 260 m/s and 150 m/s, respectively?
2007-11-08 21:23:02 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Physics
What is the birthplace of Lord Buddha? I have heard that he was born in the country of Everest !!!!!! howmuch , do you know the truth.
Do Buddha used to speak Nepali language? His original proverbs, teachings and quotations are in nepali , the book Tripitak is also in Nepali (originally) ???
2007-11-08 21:21:55 · 27 answers · asked by you gain 2 draw 2 in Geography
4 surgeons were sitting and discussing who they like to operate on. The 1st surgeon said:" I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is on alphabetical order." The 2nd surgeon said:" I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order." The 3rd surgeon said:" I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded".
The 4th surgeon said:" I like operating on politicians."
The other 3 surgeons looked at each other in disbelief until one of them asked:"Why?"
The 4th surgeon replied:" Because they are heartless, gutless, spineless and their butt and head are interchangeable."
2007-11-08 21:21:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
The Kingdom Interlinear Translation (a Greek Interlinear) reads:
"This but is the everlasting life in order that they may be knowing you the only true God and whom you sent forth Jesus Christ."
The NWT translated it as "taking in knowledge of you" BUT the Greek text in the KIT says something quite different..."they may be knowing you." We need to know God through Jesus Christ in order to have everlasting life. All the knowledge in the world will not save us.
Yet the Watchtower Society, by altering the scripture here accomplishes two things in its own self-interest. First, since they dispense "knowledge" through the printed page, it follows that they want their people to be forever "taking in knowledge". Thus the distortion to fit their preconceived ideas. Secondly, they do not want their followers seeking after a relationship with Christ, but dependent instead on their organization. What do you think?
Visit: http://www.macgregorministries.org/jehovahs_witnesses/kit.html
2007-11-08 21:21:48 · 12 answers · asked by Justyn M. 1 in Religion & Spirituality
Hi everybody;
I got married by arrangement at the age of 18.
Two months to my 18th birthday to be exact.
Not too bad as I was quite attracted to my husband.
Unfortunately, just 9 months later, we were in a car accident in which I lost our unborn baby and my husband at the same time.
It took a while to get over it, but I am now 20 years and 10 months old and have only recently become sexually active again.
Question:
Why is it that some people out here on Yahoo Q+A think that I am a whore?
I have found a freedom that is new to me, and am very exited about that. I feel like a teenager again.
Can that be so very wrong?????
2007-11-08 21:21:37 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Men's Health
2007-11-08 21:21:28 · 19 answers · asked by ? 3 in Polls & Surveys
I would like to see that!
2007-11-08 21:20:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
is there anyway to play downloaded ps2 games without having a modding chip fitted?
2007-11-08 21:19:38 · 3 answers · asked by sponge bob 2 in PlayStation
Questions asked on 8 November 2007:
Showing 481 to 510 of 10359 questions
Questions asked on other days: