A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large parrot. He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for bid he offers $50.
The bidding proceeds hot and heavy with someone always bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot is finally sold to him for $1,500.
When he goes to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer, "Can the bird talk?"
The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
EDIT* I posted this joke before. Some of you may not have seen it.
2007-10-27 22:24:58 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
Okay...
Since gays are accepted which is great! I am happy that gays don't go to hell, no one deserves it.
BUT
Why were the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed due to sodomy, and homosexuality, and all the worldly things that happened there. Only one family was removed before the cities were burnt to a crisp! Please explain...
Don't judge me as bashing, I just strictly want to understand, I am studying religion, and want to understand as much as I can.
2007-10-27 22:24:34 · 28 answers · asked by ? 4 in Religion & Spirituality
I'm learning French and I've heard a T.V. called "television" and also "televiseur". What do they both mean?
ps sorry for the missing accents, my alt codes aren't working.
2007-10-27 22:23:59 · 5 answers · asked by roxxie025 2 in Languages
Look I love Baseball, his has to be one of the worst postseasons in baseball history. The Tiebreaker game was awesome - but a game that desn't officially count as the playoffs was the most exciting game of all; the Division series only went one game more than the minimum (CLE beat NYY in 4), the NLCS was a dud and the ALCS went 7 but all nearly all were high scoring blowouts. Of course this world series is probably going to be a sweep (with game 4 today). Side question: How bad is this world series?
2007-10-27 22:23:34 · 10 answers · asked by captaincarney 3 in Baseball
2007-10-27 22:23:23 · 4 answers · asked by trina0530 1 in Geography
basically how and where do these drugs go, and what they do
2007-10-27 22:23:19 · 2 answers · asked by John 1 in Medicine
2007-10-27 22:22:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Trivia
Faith being belief in the absence of proof and which in anything except religion is considered to be stupid.
2007-10-27 22:22:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
what would have happened had she not smiled
2007-10-27 22:21:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Painting
As my friend told me the HP Pavillion dv5000t and 8000t have the same motherboards which is surprising for both a 15 inch and a 17 inch. Anyhow, my friend told me to literally dump this motherboard, and get a new one which would contain a GeForce 7600. Would that be possible?
2007-10-27 22:21:12 · 3 answers · asked by ARGHHHHHHHH! 2 in Laptops & Notebooks
If you had to give up ONE thing what would it be ?
1. Internet and Pc's all together
2.Going out side Never going out again and cant take friends / family to your home -No one .
3. All holidays ( Christmas , halloween , easter , birthdays etc)
2007-10-27 22:20:40 · 33 answers · asked by ♀ Gσтнι¢ яσмαи¢є ♀ 6 in Polls & Surveys
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross- examined. The lawyer thundered at him: "Have you ever been married?"
"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"
And the witness said meekly, "My sister did."
2007-10-27 22:20:37 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
If a woman received some teaching from invisible world- f.e. how to defend herself against distant entrance in her aura for unhonest business purposes and now she can "cover"from distance the sub-consience./s of the distant parasite/s -they are working always as couple mascued as healers or reiki- teachers / for manipulating their consiences and then to "charge" their sub with the correspondant energy could this be a lesson from Guru?
Or this is an old/ancient? Masonic game?
2007-10-27 22:19:31 · 7 answers · asked by IndrisOK 2 in Parapsychology
2007-10-27 22:19:23 · 32 answers · asked by Buddy Hodor 7 in Polls & Surveys
A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life..."
"What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked.
"Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness and mercy folowing me around. But I don't want Shirley following me around all the time. She's a gossip and a spoilsport!"
2007-10-27 22:17:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
...according to your (sad) experience??
Mind games... Power games.... whatever...
2007-10-27 22:17:18 · 32 answers · asked by Alice in Wonderbra 7 in Polls & Surveys
After the computer is shut down the light inside the mouse stays on. Is there a way to disable the power in the mouse.Its an usb mouse with wheel in the middle-no ball.
I have even tried looking in Bios but dont understand it.I have windows XP. I dont have a mouse setting in my Power Options in control panel.
2007-10-27 22:16:44 · 2 answers · asked by Cat J 1 in Add-ons
2007-10-27 22:16:39 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
Marcy walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby scale.
"Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first."
"Oh, that won't work," says Marcy.
"Why not?" asks the clerk.
"Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt."
2007-10-27 22:16:04 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
2007-10-27 22:15:51 · 6 answers · asked by DivCW 2 in Religion & Spirituality
2007-10-27 22:15:17 · 29 answers · asked by Chav Princess 7 in Polls & Surveys
Has anyone got any experience / tips and suggestions on the best way to suspend a mirror dinghy from a garage ceiling. I'm looking to store a mirror in my garage and the obvious place is to hang it from the ceiling (its very stong and will take the weight). I guess I will need some kind of strapping and some king of hoist to get it to the correct position... Someone must have done this already.
2007-10-27 22:14:46 · 6 answers · asked by dean s 1 in Boats & Boating
I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who had a bit'h of a time quitting drinking coffee, sodas like pepsi, mountain dew and so on because of pregnancy. I'm 18 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I have urges to drink pepsi or any type of soda with caffiene. Even though I switched to drinking juices and water now it's just driving me insane I want caffiene!
2007-10-27 22:14:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a very large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
2007-10-27 22:14:22 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
I cant just belive we are here just because of a big bang ( no offence to people who do )
i belive we are here for a reason, and we all have a special misson or purpose and some are chossen but how do you find out what your purpose is? or some kind of answers to these questions?
2007-10-27 22:13:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-10-27 22:12:35 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cricket
When opening an Excel 2003 workbook under Excel 2007, it says my VBA MACROS are LOST !
Doen anyone knows why ?
Is there a similar language under Excel 2007 ?
2007-10-27 22:12:11 · 6 answers · asked by Carlos M 2 in Software
This is not a shot ,but what is wrong with being depressed. Alot of people seem to have the idea i'm alittle depressed and stress take some pills to solve the problem. Even if your extremely depressed why don't they try to find ways for people to express , examine and deal with their issues instead of poping pills. Their can be beauty in sadness too. It's just an emotion like any other. It's just seems like where almost being taught to fear it instead of trying to explore and come to deal with them. Any thoughts. To me it seems like the same reason to some degree why people smoke dope to any other hard drug to feel good and escape their problem. I'm not trying to be little people's issues I've just notice one person says their depressed . You'll end up getting alot of people saying take a pill to help.
2007-10-27 22:12:03 · 5 answers · asked by killer kitty 2 in Mental Health
GO
2007-10-27 22:11:52 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
All of Broomtown was a buzz because boy-broom and girl-broom were going to get married. Everyone felt certain that the bride-broom and the groom-broom would make a lovely couple.
The night before the wedding, however, bride-broom told groom-broom that she was going to have a little wisk-broom.
"But, how can that be?" wailed groom-broom, "We haven't even swept together yet!"
2007-10-27 22:11:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
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