All categories - 6 February 2007

Last one as I have to get ready for work!!!!!


If you ever get pulled over for speeding!

A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for speeding.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?

Driver: Yes, mate.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Inspector: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Boot is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying `B` told you I was speeding, as well.

2007-02-06 05:19:32 · 16 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Jokes & Riddles

As a recently sepereated 24 year old mother of 3 small children, the thought of dating scares the crap out of me. I'm very intimidated to tell men that i have 3 kids.. since i am so young, they NEVER expect it, and its usually a deal breaker.

2007-02-06 05:19:30 · 17 answers · asked by Samantha D 1 in Singles & Dating

I am a college student, so I don't have a lot of money. What should I get my 21 year old computer gamer boyfriend for Valentines Day? I thought about buying him gift certificates to resturants (so he doesn't have to spend his money on his lunch break at work) or a gift certificate to a gas station (we all know about gas prices.) What do you think?

2007-02-06 05:19:30 · 6 answers · asked by CollegeGal2010 3 in Valentine's Day

I'm diagnosed with depression and GAD (anxiety) and I'm seeing a therapist whom I love, and the therapy seems to help. Anyway, I have these moment of huge anger or rage, and it kind of ovewhelms me. All I want to do at a moment like that is be left alone and relax in any possible way I can think of. I'm feeling like tha at the moment (so it's not that I'm totally incapable of functioning when that happens) and it's very exhausting. That also happens often when some conflicts arouse (i've just had a fight with my mother). Is it just stress? Does anyone else have this problem and how do you handle it?

P.S. Don't tell me to discuss it with a therapist as I'm already going to do that.

Tnx!

2007-02-06 05:19:29 · 5 answers · asked by ivana 1 in Mental Health

How would you react?

2007-02-06 05:19:26 · 8 answers · asked by timmy h 2 in Singles & Dating

in my imaginary purple kitty cat? They can't *prove* it doesn't exist!

2007-02-06 05:19:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Government

dunno is it dangerous or is it the same as other downloads.
and how do u use windows vista once its downloaded.

2007-02-06 05:19:23 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Software

mine isn't... it smells like roses...

2007-02-06 05:19:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i used to know a web site that should you how to make a thing so you can plug xbox control pads into it and it also gave you the drivers for it DOES ANY BODY KNOW WHAT THE WEBSITE IS CALLED?

2007-02-06 05:19:20 · 1 answers · asked by Liam 3 in Other - Hardware

The shock/strutt of Nissan Sentra Spec-V SE-R 2002 are sport tuned (stock) and very bumpy when driving it.

2007-02-06 05:19:19 · 7 answers · asked by bokal 1 in Nissan

2007-02-06 05:19:14 · 3 answers · asked by P C M 1 in Software

I am in a debt settlement program that may affect if I can buy or lease another car. I don't want to end up not being able to finance a car. I have good credit with GMAC; no late or arrears. The car has a good resale value and I probably could get more than I owe.

2007-02-06 05:19:12 · 8 answers · asked by rooty tooty fresh n fruity 1 in Personal Finance

would appreciate it?

This was posted on the bulletin board at our nurses' station:

The Supervisors are pleased with job performance.

Employees have resolved all of their grievences.

The patients are pleased with their care.

There has been nary an equipment malfunction.

and...

the donkeys are all fed and out flying!!!

2007-02-06 05:19:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

how do i tell her how i feel without compromising my individuality

2007-02-06 05:19:08 · 7 answers · asked by Scream Your Secrets 3 in Singles & Dating

Are you doing whatever it takes? Are you determined to be happy?

:-)

2007-02-06 05:19:06 · 7 answers · asked by yumyum 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-06 05:18:59 · 4 answers · asked by VENU G 1 in Other - Society & Culture

I have a friend lets call her 'x' who i have been close to for a little less than a year, but we really hit it off. We had the same sense of humor, musc taste, and we were always having a good time. Then another girl came, 'y'. I was friends with her, and she is really nice, but lately, I've felt like they are pushing me out. They leave lunch early without me, I have to start convo's on MSN (a very moden friendship problem!) I have lots of other friends, but 'x' was my closest. And I don't know how to tell her because she's one of those people who hates fights and always thinks I'm starting them, but i dont want to fight! I just want us to be like we used to! How can I get included agian?

2007-02-06 05:18:59 · 11 answers · asked by tialaingo 3 in Friends

I have a Gateway laptop with 512 MB, DDR, 1.4 GHz Intel Celeron. It is sooo slow, can someone give me some pointers on what to do. I would appreciate any detailed information. Thank you!

2007-02-06 05:18:54 · 8 answers · asked by Elvis lives! 2 in Laptops & Notebooks

My friend suffers terribly from these. This year he is in so much pain and has missed lots of work. He has just been given Amitriptyline by the doctor and also has a infection in his inner ear...but the doctor said this is nothing to worry about but he is desprate for this to stop...any ideas?

2007-02-06 05:18:52 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pain & Pain Management

Help me in finding kool items in electronics, any creative gifts, something really nice and kool..
Thanks to all

2007-02-06 05:18:47 · 5 answers · asked by ny k 2 in Friends

2007-02-06 05:18:44 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I LOVE this name (for a girl) but i dont know if it is hard to pronounce and also tell me what do you think of the name which is:

MACARIA

2007-02-06 05:18:38 · 47 answers · asked by aais 3 in Baby Names

2007-02-06 05:18:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cats

(in programming language..)

2007-02-06 05:18:29 · 2 answers · asked by graze 3 in Programming & Design

Why are you so intent on Hiding History,do all people think rasicm when they do not even no them,there is a difference in a way between Rasicm and Ignorance ,Ignorance is a lack or want of Knowing reality and the truth about past events that have happened to minoritys in this country.Not only your mothers are white thats why you have a lack of respect of what minority women had to go through in this country which someone dared to put as if white women were being treated like Black women in this country,I feel it is Shame that makes you feel threatend by something you want to keep protected.Maybe someone in the business that felt as if people will turn there backs against the business,so tell me?

2007-02-06 05:18:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-02-06 05:18:28 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Fantasy Sports

i'm asking because we might be going to live there and we want to know if the same health rules apply
when you go to the Canaries you can only bring back 200 cigs but the rest of spain you can bring 3000 if there in EU why the difference thanks for any help

2007-02-06 05:18:24 · 6 answers · asked by DAVID K 1 in Other - Europe

muslim are being killed in kashmir in ( fake encounters).
and in gujrat.

2007-02-06 05:18:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics