I am a Pakistani American; I have been raised and brought up in the states. I was never born in Pakistan. I am an only daughter w/two brothers. I have had 2 arranged marriages that ended up in a divorce. My first husband was a psychotic, possessive, abusive person. I was married roughly for about 31/2 years, the end result I have a daughter with him (which he has never seen once). He was deported back to Pakistan when I was expecting (I was 22 yrs old). I stayed single for about 3 years after my first marriage fell apart. My parents received another marriage proposal for me, this guy was completely single but needed a green card and manipulated my folks for my hand (so in short he took advantage of my situation), as soon as I figured him out (we totally slept in separate rooms). I cancelled his INS paperwork, shortly after he disappeared on me. Its not the case, that I cant get a guy on my own, I am not awful looking (I always get hits from guys) – it was just that I was a good daughter to my parents and felt obligated to fulfill their wishes. Now, I just turned 28 a couple weeks ago, and feel that I should have the remote control of my life from now on and forever. I am single and dating someone for the past 2 months, which who is Pakistani (born and raised here) he is divorced also w/3 children (he has joint custody). When we both met, we decided not to speak of our past at all (it was his choice to decide this, he wanted to get to know me for who I am, without making any judgments of the past). For the past couple of weeks, he has been opening up about his past marriage, on why it failed. He has been noticing that I have been really quiet for some weeks, he has sensed that something is really bothering me, that I am keeping from him. Just last night, I told him about my 2nd arrange marriage, explained to him that it was more of a contract marriage. He listened, and said that he was hurt, that I didn’t tell him sooner. Not, the fact that I had an 2nd marriage, but, didn’t open this up to him, coz we spoke about everything that has happened in our lives. He said that he loves me, and what am I gonna do – if I have a third marriage….I told him, it will be totally on my decision, no more arrange marriages….he was just hurt, that I kept this from him for this long……what do u think is goin thru his mind?? PLEASE HELP
2006-11-17
02:25:41
·
14 answers
·
asked by
fairytale_chic
1
in
Singles & Dating