Senior Citizens

2007-10-31 16:51:02 · 27 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

2007-10-31 16:48:25 · 21 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

Did they happen to you as a child and do you blame your parents.......

2007-10-31 16:47:09 · 21 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

If so what brands.....I am trying to come up with different questions, so we can all stay together on here.....some may be off-the wall, and some may be with in mean......bare with me......

Hope all is well.........

2007-10-31 16:45:18 · 20 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

when you attached a baseball card & a clothespin to the spokes of your bike? Neat sound wasn't it?

2007-10-31 16:28:25 · 18 answers · asked by Shortstuff13 7

depict? I have. Many years ago in east central Oregon mountains. And they no more looked like a gorilla or bear or anything like that. They had hair, but a lot less than all those dumb pictures. And for all those disbelievers, the Native Americans have had stories about Sasquatch for 20,000 years. So there must be something to it, don't you think?

2007-10-31 15:34:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,

wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still

heavily sedated from a difficult four-hour surgical

procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a

partial sponge bath.



Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my

testicles black?"



Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know,

Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."



He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles

black?"



Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry

about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment

and sheepishly pulls back the covers.



She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and

his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them

around.



Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's

nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"



The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and

says very slowly,



"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen

very, very closely......



A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?

2007-10-31 15:32:16 · 12 answers · asked by Croeso 6

license to illegal immigrants?

2007-10-31 15:11:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-31 14:21:07 · 37 answers · asked by Bethany 6

2007-10-31 14:03:59 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. Eventually, the wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

2007-10-31 13:34:29 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5

Why do object and places seem to get smaller.
Example:- Mars Bar
The Ocean
The Fair Ground
Public Buildings

2007-10-31 13:19:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

for all my older friends?my best friend is 60 and just told me today that she is leaving her fellow of 20 years for a female, i was floored,i dont know how to react?i have many new gay elder friends as of late.is this a comman thing for people when they get older to change their curret life style for a different one.[a gay life style].how do i tell her i still am her best friend no matter what she feels she needs in her life at this time?she meet this new woman at the grocer store.what is your opinion on the subject. thanks

2007-10-31 13:16:31 · 19 answers · asked by alcaholicdemon 7

Do any of you think the questions here on Seniors have become too generic or mild? If so, why?

2007-10-31 13:14:08 · 7 answers · asked by 2jaxx 5

2007-10-31 13:06:40 · 6 answers · asked by Diana 7

if you could change one thing that you did in your youth .. what would it be..also... what would be a good gift for my mom who is 70 for christmas.. i gave her a dvd player last year and she traded it for word search books.. so i am at a lost as what to give her.. gave her flowers ..she did not like them.. gave her perfume.. she did not like it..she has face hair so i gave her one of those things that shaves with batteries... she gave it away..or should i just give her lotto tickets.. she loves those things

2007-10-31 13:02:51 · 21 answers · asked by vis 7

2007-10-31 12:50:28 · 26 answers · asked by Scouse 7

You know you're a nurse if...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs."

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.

2007-10-31 12:49:13 · 16 answers · asked by ? 5

I am leaving you Mabel,for Doris.
Why ? asks Mabel.
Because she holds my willy all night,says Sidney.
But so do I ,says Mabel.
Ah! But Doris has parkinsons!!

2007-10-31 12:47:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-31 12:24:23 · 71 answers · asked by Anonymous

The government says it helps save energy. What do you think? Or does it really affect you at all?

2007-10-31 12:00:05 · 19 answers · asked by Starscape 6

This man goes to see his shrink and says:

"Doctor,my wife is being unfaithful to me.Every night she goes to Johnny's Bar and sleeps with anyone she can find.What can I do?"

"First of all, calm down" says the doctor. "Take some deep breaths.

Now tell me, where exactly is Johnnys Bar?"

2007-10-31 11:46:43 · 20 answers · asked by ? 5

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

2007-10-31 11:42:19 · 23 answers · asked by ? 5

Passwords! How on earth can you keep up with all of these passwords?
Hopefully they post a question, say your pets name. Other than that, I have no clue as to how to keep up with all of these passwords.

2007-10-31 11:10:24 · 14 answers · asked by Cheryl 6

Who would you give the Bonehead Award of the Year to and for what reason?
The statuette would be a dog's bone for a head with a non-descript face on it.

2007-10-31 10:59:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

And if you did something really 'bbbbaaaadddd' did you get the belt harder and longer?
If so are you still fond of belts?

2007-10-31 10:45:32 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

and blow up if you give them your opinion and it doesn't match what they have in their own minds? I mean, why ask if you don't want to hear it?
Sort of like a lot of the questions asked here.

2007-10-31 10:29:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

It has to be the slowest ever - unless they have been in-undated with newbies from all the publicity.

2007-10-31 10:02:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

You cannot be watching T.V. because it is so boring. So, what are you all doing?
Keep it clean please.

2007-10-31 10:00:18 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

I had put a joke about 2 kids going to the dr. and "katetrinity" said she reported me....YA is only for real questions and answers......so others better watch out.......I deleted the question, do not care if I get a violation....HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU ALL!!!!!!

2007-10-31 09:58:46 · 17 answers · asked by Melissa R 4