How do you know for sure, if you are really a nurse?

Question

You know you're a nurse if...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs."

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.

Answer 1

You took time to type it, I took time to read it as only someone in medical care would. Thanks for the laughs and reminders of the good ole days.

Answer 2

My hat's off to the nurses, they do more work than half the doctors ( well maybe not the surgical ones) and get paid a whole lot less. They also seem to know about their patients, than the doctors do. And of course the biggest one, they are the ones that have to read the doctors writing (hieroglyphics) when no one else can

Answer 3

You go to a party and someone finds out you are a nurse and they "show" you something.

Tongue depressor's are also pooper scooper's and you can eat with them too if there is no silverwear.

You can look at someone and know what illness they have

People want to tell you their entire health history

All your pens are from a pharmaceutical company, all your note pads have the name of a drug on them

You never have whites in your street clothes

You use urine speciment bottles to put stuff in for your lunch

Answer 4

With my few hospital stays, I can only appreciate the humor of the posting (it's definitely full of chuckles) and for one state that I think 99% of the nurses that serve us should bear the title "Saint" (or Sainte)

Answer 5

I always said 'it takes a nurse to know a nurse'. I can relate. For alot of years.

Answer 6

Christ that must have taken a lot to write that lot down, very amusing though. have a star A+

Answer 7

So true, it shows how much nurses do and what they go through. My mom and late mother-in-law were nurses and my sister-in-law is a nurse. We owe nurses a lot, thanks to everyone of them for all they do for others.

Answer 8

I like the one about checking customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines. That one really make me laugh. Thanks

Answer 9

very funny....if you are a nurse, can I be a patient on your ward sounds like fun...

Answer 10

gee, nice to know that there are such caring people in the medical profession.