Guy come into the office after a normal weekend with two black eyes and his co-workers asked him what happened. He said he was in the checkout line and this really fat lady in front had her dress stuck in her butt crack and when he pulled it out she turned around and blacked his eye, they said how did you get the other one, he said I thought she liked it so much, I shoved it back in.
2007-12-28 15:27:52 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
Alright, please don't judge me, I recently experienced the loss of my mother, and my gay friend (male) was the only person there for me (I'm female). We slept in the same bed last night (not something unusual for us), but before we realized it we were naked and we were making love. Although I initiated it, he had a very active part in it (he was on top for a lot of the time), and neither of us really seemed to think about what we were doing. However, I think that he only agreed to do it with me because he wanted to try to make me feel better. I'm sure he's still 100% gay. And although we both enjoyed it, we both had big regrets in the morning.
I feel bad, not only because I had sex with my [blatantly] gay friend, but because I used physical pleasure to push my grief from my mind.
I am worried (as is he) that our friendship will never be the same. Is it possible that our friendship won't change, that we can look at this experience as a simple bump in the road of our friendship?
2007-12-28 14:43:00 · 16 answers · asked by Jenna 1 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
How come more people who answer questions in the Senior section don't have a "360" profile? Please don't mention that I don't have a picture on my avatar. I am not so computer savvy..
2007-12-28 14:13:26 · 30 answers · asked by Judith H 5 in Senior Citizens
Have you ever been stuck for ages trying to sneeze?
Like the feeling of sneezing comes but then whenever you try to sneeze it wont come out and now my nose is feeling funny, I've been trying to sneeze for the past hour! And it just wont come out.
Anyone had this experience and did you discover a way to make yourself sneeze?
I know its off-topic but I love the LGBT section. :)
2007-12-28 14:12:10 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
2007-12-28 13:54:54 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
2007-12-28 13:24:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
When you look into the mirror does it seem that you are looking into your mother's or your father's face? Do you find yourself saying or doing some of the same things that you saw them saying and doing when you were a child? I often see my mother when I look into the mirror and many relatives tell me I sound just like her when I speak. Does this sort of thing ever happen to you?
Thank you for your responses.
2007-12-28 13:14:52 · 26 answers · asked by Bethany 6 in Senior Citizens
One day long ago she was standing nude in front of a mirror and asked if there was something she might do to enlarge her breasts.
I replied she might try rubbing some toilet tissue between them several times a day.
Some weeks later she asked if I was sure that rubbing toilet tissue between her breasts would enlarge them.
I said, well it worked on your buttocks didn't it?
I woke up three hours later in the ER.
2007-12-28 13:07:24 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
I've been part of a particular online community since 1998. A few of us have met in person or talked on the phone, and many of us have become great friends despite never having met in "real life."
Today I learned that a particularly dear lady suffering from brain cancer (diagnosed a scant six weeks ago) has gone into hospice care and is not expected to live much longer. I am in shock and grieving for someone I've never met and never spoken to, yet who is a friend. She is the third such cyber-friend this community has lost, and we miss them all. I will never get used to knowing people so intimately, yet not knowing where they live or even what their real names are.
This particular lady thought so highly of our cyber-group, that she asked a friend to keep in touch with the board's owner and let us know her condition. I'm in shock.
Has this ever happened to you?
2007-12-28 12:58:32 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
Yeah!!
2007-12-28 12:34:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 12:16:01 · 15 answers · asked by Lauren-Ash 2 in Other - Cultures & Groups
2007-12-28 12:03:46 · 13 answers · asked by irish_matt 7 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Take a look. Sometimes it's really funny.
2007-12-28 11:57:24 · 28 answers · asked by curious connie 7 in Senior Citizens
I am anti gun. I was mortified when my state of missouri passed a concealed weapons law. But now Im wondering. Maybe gay people should take advantage of the concealed weapon right in states where it exists. Perhaps there would be less gay bashing if the bashers thought 50% of us were armed at all times.
2007-12-28 11:45:43 · 17 answers · asked by Mike 2 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
2007-12-28 11:44:40 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
Are there people who simply have no sexual prefrences? They're not interested in same sex nor opposite sex? Essentially their natural disposition is not being interested in any sex? Does this exist? And, if so, what's it called?
2007-12-28 11:41:29 · 14 answers · asked by Zezo Zeze Zadfrack 1 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."
He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied.
The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The vicar put the $100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."
2007-12-28 11:33:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
Read or watch TV
2007-12-28 11:19:21 · 31 answers · asked by Tracer 5 in Senior Citizens
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
2007-12-28 11:14:54 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
I hate people seing me strugle and use crutches to walk i will go short distances without them although it means I`m in a lot of pain. why do you think this is and what can i do about it.
2007-12-28 11:08:15 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in People with Disabilities
ive always wondered why...
2007-12-28 11:07:28 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first cleansing of a slacker, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker was doing here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Delivering pizza."
2007-12-28 10:55:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
I read a good book, doesn't even matter if I have read it before or not, to relax, as far as I am concerned a good book, puts me in a good relaxed state. How about you?
2007-12-28 10:41:06 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:39:30 · 19 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:38:24 · 35 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:37:08 · 30 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:35:37 · 32 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:34:23 · 24 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:33:33 · 27 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
2007-12-28 10:32:30 · 11 answers · asked by for the times 7 in Senior Citizens
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