I was wondering if their is anyone out there who might be able to shed some light on my situation. Please don't be mean or judgemental. Basically, I "float" through life, I don't really feel much emotionally. The only things that make me "feel" are usually dangerous. Examples; "deviant" sexual behavior, excessive speed, for instance going 130 mph down a back road, basically doing anything I know I shouldn't do. I feel like I get a rush of blood that pumps through my heart and I feel like I take in a breath of life. I would never hurt anyone, I guess I just don't mind putting my life at risk, that is what gives me happiness. I have heard of adrenaline junkies but I feel that my problem goes deeper than that. I feel like life doesn't have enough to offer me unless I am pushing the limits. I know this is strange, but I almost get an "out of body" expierence when I get hurt, like most people would be in pain but I get a rush. What is wrong with me? Am I depressed, psychotic, bored???
2007-08-29
08:43:40
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