Family & Relationships - 27 September 2006

so we were in a class together and at the end she kinda stood behind my chair for a little bit. what does that mean. i pretended i didn't notice her then she came around the side of my chair and stood beside me while i was sitting so that my arm was touching her. i still kinda like her ( yes, she broke up with me ) but a asked her if she likes anyone and she said that she has a crush on a freshmen guy and she is a sophmore. tonight we have youth group and i would kinda like to find out it she still has feeling for me. is there anything i can do to her or with her or say to her that will make her get in a good mood and possibly like me again or at least give me another chance?

2006-09-27 11:04:25 · 7 answers · asked by catlover309 1 in Singles & Dating

I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate since we are already married.

2006-09-27 11:02:48 · 28 answers · asked by rose 2 in Weddings

My daughters birthday is usually right before or after Thanksgiving ( this year it's 2 days after. she'll be 3)
and I want to have a birthday party and invite all the family.
I could do it the weekend before or even that first weekend in Nov. but i am so uncertain as when to have it.when do you think would be good?
I want to do it back home like usual but right now I am in school and I would have to go back numerous times to get things ready like buy decorations, food, etc. and traveling that much is a big dent on my wallet.being a college student and all.
and usually only about 1/2 that i invite go. and we usually have alot of food left. so I'm wondering if I should even have her B-day. I really want to but since I am in college I have little money to go by
any suggestions or just anything would help.
thanks

2006-09-27 11:02:33 · 3 answers · asked by native_lady 1 in Family

Shes my first cousin.and i love her.its legal to marry cousins in my area.i want to tel i love her

2006-09-27 11:02:23 · 17 answers · asked by nasser_matrix 1 in Family

Ok so i have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and he is like insanely jealous! Like if i am like sitting with him and i even mention that i talked to another guy or something he gets all moody and is like who the **** is that??? He is super sweet when we are together alone but when his friends come around he changes which i am hoping is normal. He can get super posessive and get angry when i go hang out with my girlfriends and etc. I honestly don't even have any guy friends that aren't his too. My parents are kind of worried because of his temper and think that he might hit me one day... So i am consulting you guys what should i do??

2006-09-27 11:01:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

My ex Matt and I brokeup this summer. And now he is crawling back to his ex who he daited around this time. He is reapeating history so do u think it will happen for him and I that him and I will get back together this summer? If he is doing it again.

2006-09-27 11:00:33 · 4 answers · asked by Steph1490 4 in Singles & Dating

I like this guy and all one of his friends told him that i think hes hot. A lot of people have told him that i like him. What do i do?

2006-09-27 11:00:25 · 14 answers · asked by Binkyboo2 2 in Other - Family & Relationships

I really like this guy but its hard because ive already let him know i like him but i have no idea how he feels but ive been told he says no.

2006-09-27 10:59:27 · 9 answers · asked by ~Whitney~ 3 in Other - Family & Relationships

2006-09-27 10:59:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

Alrite so me and this girl were really tight over summer but once school started we stopped hanging out as much cuz she had cheerin and i had golf all the time. But we already discussed homecoming saying wed go together. So the other day i spend a good 40 bucks on roses,card, and a bear. After i do all that i get a call from my friend saying she doesnt wanna go with me even as friends.

I got pissed and still am cuz it was out of nowhere but right after i talked to her about the whole situation she said she wants to go back to where we were tighter than hell. I agreed and the last 2 days shes been having away messages like every second chance begins with a first step... or im just look you trying to figure out who i am inside.

Is this a sign that she wants me to try again?

also is it messed up to try again with her and then once we get really tight do what she did to me and shut her down.

2006-09-27 10:59:02 · 9 answers · asked by Bratley G 1 in Singles & Dating

we are being told the world is coming to an end does any one beleive that or is it rubbish

2006-09-27 10:58:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

do you think its a good thing to remember the past?

2006-09-27 10:58:04 · 22 answers · asked by sure_whatever_29 3 in Singles & Dating

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is a result of traditional media outlets such as TV and movies becoming less of an influence on the general Asian population as they choose to shape their own views and identity free of media molding and stereotyping by surfing the net for information rather than having their roles in society dictated to them
I do feel however that Asian representation in the traditional media is abhorent to say the very least and As such Asians as a whole need to do what ever they can to gain control of their own image. There are probably less Asians in the media today than there were ten years ago and they're stereotyped worst than ever before.

http://www.proudasianamerican.com/Articles/2004%20ACS.htm

Interracial Marriages Decrease Among Asian Americans
Gender Disparity Shrinks as Pan Asian American Marriages Rise
By J.J. Huang
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After rising for decades, the rate of interracial ("IR") marriages for contemporary (aged 25-34) U.S.-born Asian Americans has declined from 2000 to 2004 according to data tabulated from the U.S. Census Bureau's 2004 American Community Survey ("ACS") and the Census 2000. Contemporary 1.5 Generation Asian American females also experienced fewer IR marriages. Part of the decline was due to record levels of Pan Asian marriages (marriages between Asians of different ethnicities). Surprisingly, the rate of IR marriage decreased most prominently among U.S.-born Asian American females, shrinking the IR marriage gender disparity that historically was skewed towards females. In addition, sharp differences and changes were found in IR marriage statistics between the major Asian American ethnicities.

IR marriage has become the most explosive social issue within the Asian American community. It is an emotionally divisive debate often loaded with charges of racism and sexism from within and without along gender lines due to significantly higher numbers of IR marriages among Asian women. The 2000 IR marriage statistics are startling. Contemporary U.S.-born Asian American women as a whole were more likely to have a white husband than an Asian husband. In fact, for several ethnic groupings of Asian women, wives were twice as likely to have a non-Asian husband than an Asian husband. Contemporary U.S.-born Asian American men lagged significantly behind in IR marriages giving rise to the so-called gender disparity.

Many observers predicted the rate of IR marriages to increase for both genders as Asians continued to assimilate in the U.S. The 2004 results run counter to these expectations and all the more surprising given the short timeframe and an unexpected contributor of decreased IR marriages; Pan Asian marriages.

Study Methodology

The data tabulations focused on U.S.-born and 1.5 Generation Asian Americans aged 25 to 34. 1.5 Generation Asian Americans are defined as foreign born Asians who immigrated to the U.S. as children before the age of 14. These age and upbringing distinctions are important in order to focus on Asian Americans who are socialized within the context of contemporary U.S. race relations. This methodology filters out distortions such as war brides, mail-order brides and limits Asian international adoptees to the 1.5 Generation (of which only a small minority would be of marrying age in 2000). U.S.-born and 1.5 Generation Asian Americans are commonly referred to as U.S.-raised Asian Americans.

Interracial marriage is defined as a marriage to a white, black, native American, native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander, other race or a mixed race individual. The data could only measure marriages where the spouse was present in the household. In keeping with U.S. Census Bureau conventions, Hispanics are considered an ethnicity and may belong to any race.

It is also important to note that U.S.-raised Asians Americans as a whole are demographically young stemming from recent waves of immigration (the exception are Japanese Americans due to their long and stable presence in the United States, they are the only demographically mature U.S.-raised Asian ethnicity). As a result, between 2000 and 2004 there was an explosion of marriages among contemporary U.S.-raised Asians Americans. Thus, although the 2004 ACS is a much smaller dataset than the Census 2000, the 2004 ACS makes up for some of this deficiency by having a higher weighting of Asian marriages.

Tables Census 2000 2004 ACS
Males RS-M99-2000US-A RS-M99-2004ACS-A
Females RS-F99-2000US-A RS-F99-2004ACS-A

2000 IR Marriage Statistics

In 2000, for the contemporary U.S.-raised Asian American population, 30% of males were in IR marriages vs. 43% of females. IR marriage was highest among U.S.-born Asians; 44% for males and 58% for females vs. 23% for males and 35% for females of the 1.5 Generation. About 80% of all intermarriage was to white race individuals.

Among major ethnicities of Asian males, U.S.-born Japanese and Filipino Americans were most likely to be intermarried at 51% (tied). 1.5 Generation Chinese and Vietnamese Americans were least likely to be intermarried at 16% and 17%, respectively.

Among major ethnicities of Asian females, U.S.-born Filipino and Korean Americans were most likely to be intermarried at 66% (tied). 1.5 Generation Asian Indian and Chinese Americans were least likely to be intermarried at 24% and 26%, respectively.

Many observers have been surprised by the high rate of IR marriage in 2000. To others it affirmed their belief that Asian Americans were assimilating by marrying into the white majority. IR marriage tended to be lower in urban counties and highest in rural counties where a still significant portion of Asian Americans reside.

2004 IR Marriage Statistics

In 2004, the numbers of married contemporary U.S.-raised Asian Americans increased significantly; up 70% for males and 64% for females. The large wave of marriages over the last four years could indicate recent social changes of importance for Asian Americans. At first glance, the overall statistics do not appear to have changed significantly; the overall rate of IR marriage increased 1% for males but decreased 3% for females. However this represents a reversal of a long trend in IR marriage and is perhaps a turning point for the Asian American community.

All of the increase in the rate of male IR marriage was due to a 2% increase for the 1.5 Generation. This may not be unusual, the 1.5 Generation rate was extremely low in 2000 at 23%. For U.S.-born males the rate of IR marriage decreased 3% (from 44% to 41%) due to an increase of Pan Asian marriages which were 17% of the total (a 50% rate increase from 2000).

The female IR marriage statistic for the 1.5 Generation decreased 2% with no change in the rate of Pan Asian marriages. That is a significant decrease in IR marriages in itself. But for the U.S.-born, the rate of IR marriage decreased an astounding 9% (from 58% to 49%). The unexpected change in IR marriages among U.S.-born females was primarily due to a huge increase in Asian marriages among Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese and Asian-Indian females, in that order. The most dramatic change occurred among Korean women with a 15% rate decline in IR marriages. Pan Asian marriages rose to a rate of 11% of the total (a 38% rate increase from 2000).

Asian Newlyweds Prefer Asian Spouses

Another way to analyze the changes in IR marriages would be to exclude those contemporary U.S.-raised Asian Americans who were already married in 2000 and focus solely on new marriages between 2000 and 2004. By assuming no divorces, deaths or emigrations occurred, this rough analysis reveals a greater contemporary decline in IR marriages.

For Asian males, the 90 thousand new marriages were roughly split between 1.5 Generation and U.S.-born Asian males. New IR marriages were 24% (vs. 23% in 2000) for the 1.5 Generation and 37% (vs. 44% in 2000) for the U.S.-born.

For Asian females, the 105 thousand new marriages evenly split between 1.5 Generation and U.S.-born Asian females. New IR marriages were 34% (vs. 43% in 2000) for the 1.5 Generation and 43% (vs. 58% in 2000) for the U.S.-born.

Thus, the rate of IR marriage among newlyweds is significantly lower than for those already married in 2000. Pan Asian marriages comprised 16% of the above newlywed marriages for the men and 11% for the women. In addition, the IR marriage gender disparity for newlyweds is the smallest in recent history, 10% for the 1.5 Generation and 6% for U.S.-born. The disparity was 8% overall.

Pan Asian Marriages on the Rise

Pan Asian marriages, while not uncommon, are often overlooked as a factor in Asian American marriages. Most observers have viewed the marriage choices for Asian Americans as a black or white affair or more accurately a choice between a white race individual and an Asian individual of the same ethnicity. The traditional assimilationist perspective predicts Asian Americans would marry into the majority white population for socioeconomic achievement. Otherwise Asian Americans would marry an Asian of the same ethnicity to retain cultural and ethnic ties. In short, there did not seem to be a compelling socioeconomic or cultural reason for Pan Asian marriage.

Some sociologists, including Dr. C.N. Le (www.asian-nation.org), predicted a rise in Pan Asian marriages from more subtle social factors such as heightened race consciousness, greater acculturation, and a sense of shared group identity. Dr. Le argues that as Asian Americans achieve socioeconomic success through high education and professional occupations there is greater social interaction among Asians from various ethnicities. U.S. demographics and race relations also tend to ignore ethnic distinctions and promote Asians as a single racial group in various facets of American life. (A recent example is the creation of Asian fraternities and sororities.) And as the Asian American population matures from a community that is mostly foreign born to U.S.-raised the historical animosities between Asian ethnicities become less relevant. The record numbers of Pan Asian marriages in 2004 support Dr. Le's prediction.

In 2004, Chinese males were the most popular Pan Asian husband for contemporary U.S.-raised Asian females. Chinese and Vietnamese females had the highest numbers of Pan-Asian husbands. The popularity of the Chinese as Pan Asian spouses might be due to the long history of the Chinese diaspora setting up communities in nearly every non-Chinese Asian country.

On the other hand, Japanese females were the most popular Pan Asian wife for contemporary U.S.-raised Asian males. This is somewhat surprising given the recent historical animosity most native Asians have for the Japanese and perhaps an indicator of decreasing ethnic barriers. Chinese males recorded the highest number of Pan Asian wives.

It is likely that Pan Asian marriages will remain popular. And by implication their offspring could exponentially grow the population of Asians with mixed ethnic backgrounds in years to come.

The Future of Asian Americans

Perhaps Pan Asian marriages are evidence the dynamics of U.S. race relations are eroding traditional cultural and ethnic ties (and animosities) in favor of greater racial solidarity. It is a potentially exciting development for the Asian American community. As a historical example, it was not long ago in the early 20th century that Irish, Italian and other southern European whites experienced severe discrimination in the U.S. by other whites. Today, after suffering far more intra-race wars than Asians have, white Americans have overcome their ethnic and nationalistic prejudices in part through Pan European intermarriage to create a cohesive racial identity.

The Asian American community has historically been fractured along ethnic lines. Certainly if white Americans from various European ethnicities formed a single racial identity it is likely Asian Americans will and Pan Asian marriage may be a key contributor. Hopefully, this will lead to a stronger Asian American identity and a united Asian American community with its inherent political and social implications.


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2006-09-27 10:57:31 · 1 answers · asked by sidewinder45 2 in Other - Family & Relationships

I've been kinda involved with this guy for about a year now. We used to hate each other in HS, but after talking for a long while we realized that we're kinda compatable. The thing is I've been hurt a lot by guys so i don't trust his intentions. Theres no reason not to...he's never lied to me. He's a bit trust advocate. So am I but i believe it's gained...he believes that it's more "truthful till proven liar". For a couple months this summer we talked for HOURS every night. It ws great. Then we went on a trip together. (we both belong to an organization and we, and 4 other people went to Romania) Ever since it's been horrible. We went weeks without talking. Now we want to try again...and want to start dating eventually. But we get on the phone and have nothing to talk about. Help me!!

2006-09-27 10:56:59 · 4 answers · asked by michellinie 2 in Singles & Dating

I'm really scared, nervous and unsure.....

2006-09-27 10:56:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

They owe 500 on the water bill and we did not know this until it was shut off. We have given them money to pay bills with but they used it to make a car payment instead. Should I be upset that the water was turned off? Also she doesn't work neither do I but I am actively looking for work (ie: going to interviews at least 3 times a week) she sitts at home and sleeps all day. Should we still be expected to give them money each week to pay for bills when its not even going towards the shared bills?

2006-09-27 10:55:47 · 19 answers · asked by sexyladylooking4love2233 1 in Family

when a good thing comes to an end. do you always find yourself listening to the sad songs on the radio???

the guys can answer too

2006-09-27 10:55:16 · 39 answers · asked by *JC* 3 in Singles & Dating

I need some urgent advice please! My husband says that he is bored not with our relationship he's just bored because we don't do anything really. We don't have a lot of money and we are both busy but when he is home all he does is sit in front of the TV. He rarely does anything with our son unless he's watching TV with him. When I try to talk to him about our relationship (rarely because he gets pissy) he says that I always want to talk when he's busy (watching TV) I don't talk to him excessively or ask for him be around all of the time but its like he thinks that being at home with me and our toddler son is not fun and he'd rather go out with his friends. He says that he loves me and our son but I just don't get whats going on . Its tearing me apart that he doesn't want to be with us. We've been married for 4 years and our son is 1 and a 1/2. My husband is 23 and I am 24. I love him and our relationship was good for years and now its like this. I need some advice please.

2006-09-27 10:53:54 · 18 answers · asked by mommy_2_little_man 2 in Marriage & Divorce

Okay so my man tells me Im sexy... But I never do anything sexy!! We are intmate but I dont know anything sexy that I can do for him?

Any ideas? ( details plz)

2006-09-27 10:53:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

So me and my girlfriend have just started to have sex. I was just wondering, what do you do after a guy finishies, I mean me and my girlfriend plan to have sex withput protection soon, but I wanted to know if it the semen drips out of women after sex in bed. I dont want to make a mess. Does it stay in there or what?

2006-09-27 10:53:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I met this man about 2-3 weeks ago and exchanged numbers we text each other for a few days when he he realised he wasent going to get a quickie he dident bother he jest text me whats the deal is he just fed up

2006-09-27 10:52:21 · 30 answers · asked by ? 2 in Singles & Dating

So, how do you get a guy to get the hint "I'M NOT INTERESTED" or "I HAVE A BF" just doesn't seem to drive them away. Boys, don't you get it? No means no? Why do you always insist that you'd be better than my current bf?

2006-09-27 10:51:34 · 17 answers · asked by StonerChick 3 in Singles & Dating

a large "male member" on their potential mate? what exactly is large?

2006-09-27 10:51:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Should people get married or have kids or buy a house???? What do people do first? does it really matter??

2006-09-27 10:51:00 · 12 answers · asked by Simple1 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I have asked him to quit, seek help, I have had an intervention, sought out family members and nothing has helped. I have a job that pays $14.00 an hour but that is not enough for a morgage and everything else a child needs. I do not know what steps to take to get out on my own and support my children. I have done everything I can for him, but I will not let him emotionally hurt our children. help!!

2006-09-27 10:49:20 · 13 answers · asked by Jennifer A 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I don't have a myspace accoutn, but i was just wondering which site you guys(girls) think is more vulnerable to sexual pretators.

2006-09-27 10:48:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

I
Going to the chapel
And were gonna get married
Going to the chapel
And were gonna get married

Gee I really love you
And were gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love

(bow bow bow bow bow)
(bow bow bow bow bow)

Spring is here (ooo-ooo-ooo)
The sky is blue (sky is blue)
Birds all sing (oh the birds all sing)
Like they do (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Todays the day (wah-hooo-oooo)
Well say I do (ooo-oooo)
And well never be lonely anymore

(bow bow bow bow bow)
(bow bow bow bow bow)

Because were
Going to the chapel
And were gonna get married
Going to the chapel
And were gonna get married

Gee I really love you
And were gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love

(bow bow bow bow bow)
(bow bow bow bow bow)

Bells will ring (ri-ii-iing) (bells will ring)
The sun will shine (hey hey hey yeah) (the sun will shine)
Ill be hers (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) (Ill be hers)
And shell be mine (oh oh oh oh oh oh oh) (and shell be mine)
Well love until

2006-09-27 10:48:14 · 8 answers · asked by Em 3 in Weddings

Whats your Sign?

2006-09-27 10:48:07 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

im not talking like lemonda crush the ice. i need some for r cheerleading thing. any hopefully one where you can take out your schools name and put anyone

2006-09-27 10:48:07 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

My girlfriend stays more than 2500 KMs away from where i stay.. and neither can she come to nor can i go to her. But sumtimes while talking we really get passionate and wanna make love. What should we do??

2006-09-27 10:46:49 · 4 answers · asked by amit k 1 in Singles & Dating