I'm literally mad in love with this guy, he's in my thoughts everyday. He loved me once too, but I didn't love him the way he did. I was a young and stupid 16 year old girl, I really did like him but I wasn't in love with him. In one of our conversations I told him that I loved someone else. He said he'll always love me and that he's there if I need him.
Well, I love him now and I really want a chance with him...the problem is, he's been dead for 8 years on the 27th. I see him in my dreams and we look at each other not knowing what to do, then, I run to him and tell him to never let go. In another dream we were sitting on the beach and he said something that broke my heart. When he was alive he loved fishing, he loved the ocean and was on the ocean all summer long fishing. In my dream he told me that he can't go on the ocean anymore. I broke into tears because I know how much he loved the ocean. It's so real in my dreams that I think he's there on the other side waiting for me like he said, he’ll always be there if I needed him.
I refuse to love another man, am I crazy for this? I want to believe that when I die he’ll be there…what do I need to believe in so that he will be there?
2007-11-23
19:08:05
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