When I was a young teenager, my ex (twelve years my senior) would not take no for an answer. I was having problems with my family and he offered to help me when it was not safe to go home. He began to use my family as justification to force me to stay with him. I suffered severe depression because he repulsed me yet made me feel that I owed him so much for allegedly saving me.
When I sought help to escape him, my first attorney made the comment to me “for God sake woman, the man loves you.” Basically mutual friends and church peers accused me of being a brat when I filed for a restraining order after he lost his license for drunk driving, and most explained his misfortune as I led him too it (he was out late drinking with friends one night and got caught driving drunk, when he called me a day later from jail he yelled that he called me all night and I was out cheating on him, but I was home with our children and my elderly mom and he never really called me).
What I think is interesting is that now men are picked up as offenders if they seek even consensual sex with a minor. Had this been the case years ago, I never would have married him and certainly wouldn’t have dated him, I tried to get away back then and no service could help me. I wonder how many men have done this when it was socially acceptable and now condemn those who do the same now that services are available to prevent this. When my ex asks if I watch the TV show “To Catch a Predictor” and states how disgusting those men are (often in front of our children to make a point), it burns me emotionally.
2007-11-07
14:49:54
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2 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Marriage & Divorce