My wife and I separated for awhile about 4 months ago because we were arguing a lot and she moved in with her brother and his wife at the spur of the moment. We went to marriage counseling and got a lot of issues out in the open. Since then though I have this nagging feeling that she gave up and that she will leave again. I’m having a hard time trusting her when she says she won’t leave again. I also don’t trust her family since while apart she bad mouthed me to everyone (she’s no angel either). Now every time she wants to go to her brother’s or her parents want to come down, she expects me to be like “hey great”. But I’m thinking to myself “I don’t like these people. They judge me now like I’m no good for their daughter or sister”. However they don’t know the crap I had to put up with from my wife either (actually they know how she is but everyone is afraid of her outbursts so they cater to her). My wife plays the poor me role very well and because of my step daughter, she uses her as a shield to say “well it’s not good for her” even though she’s the one that starts the yelling usually! My wife’s mother even told me that my step daughter is used to the yelling from my wife but now because we’re fighting it’s not good for her daughter….so what the heck changed if she was used to her mother yelling? Now’s she’s just yelling at me. I feel like I’m getting railroaded and I don’t trust my wife’s family anymore to give her the right advice. As a matter of fact, I don’t want any part of them now since they just didn’t say to her “shut up. You’re married. Deal with it and you’re not running to us”. Now everytime I see them, I feel inferior because of the bad mouthing I got and I hate that my wife got them involved in the first place. Thing is no amount of marriage counseling is going to get rid of this feeling I have. How do I get over this and how can I trust my wife isn’t going to do something stupid like this again (even though she says she’s not)? And how do I trust that her family is giving her the right advice and not just trying to drive us apart? Also, I don’t like them so how can I politely say to my wife “I don’t like your family, you can go but I don’t want anything to do with them?” They are one of these families that put on this super family act in public then look down on you when in fact they are very abusive to each other in private. Funny thing is her family is made up of teachers, counselors, and such and it drives me nuts. They seem to be the last people who should be in these careers!
2007-01-16
03:17:18
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8 answers
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survivor
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Marriage & Divorce