I went to church with my mom since I was born, got 'saved', and for about seventeen years I was bored to tears. I was sick to death of the carpeted stages, the fake plants, the hallelujahs, the gospel band, and pretty sure at that point that God must be equally boring, but if I didn’t want to go to hell, I should continue being bored anyway.
Then, after going to a horrific christian school where they taught things like ‘loud drumbeats summon demons’, I started reading the bible for myself simply because I didn’t believe a word any Christian said to me anymore, and shockingly, I found out that I loved what I read. I went through hell and back during this time, and one day it was as if God just suddenly showed me who he was, and I was stunned, and fell completely in love. He became my life and the center of my world. I think I was mostly stunned by the fact that it was really Jesus after all...since Christian culture appealed to me so little, I couldn’t believe that God was actually so astonishingly entrancing. I was even a little bit dissapointed that in order to follow him I’d have to be associated with people who sold ‘prayer cloths’ on television and sweat profusely.
I continue to go to various churches because my mother insists that in order to be a ‘good’ christian I must, but despite the fact that I love God more than life itself, I am STILL bored to tears. Nothing about church appeals to me at all. I don’t even get to talk to other Christians. I just have to endure the awful music, the blah scenery and the long speeches, and then leave. I love to discuss my beliefs, and bible studies are often ideal, but church itself is perfectly wretched to me. Even the subculture that is associated with it...the conferences, the tv shows, the disliking of Harry Potter, is all massively disgusting to me. Nothing about the modern day church reminds me of God. Nothing is beautiful, or awe-inspiring, or mysterious.
So, what’s the deal? Do any other Christians have this problem? I love spending time with other Christians, but church is just beyond me. I’ve tried participating in any way you can imagine. So why do I love God and I’m unable to like church?
2006-10-03
03:21:37
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23 answers
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asked by
Silver Tongue
1
in
Religion & Spirituality