The Mammogram.
For years and years they told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests".
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them so carefully,
And always wore my bra.
After many years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K.," I said, "let's do it".
"Stand up here real close", She said.
She got my boob in line.
"And tell me when it hurts", she said.
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine"!
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed ,
To Swedish Pancake thin!
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this thing,
My poor defenseless t*t!
"Take a deep breath", I heard her say.
The room was slowly swaying.
" Now, let's do the other one".
2006-10-02
06:18:34
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12 answers
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asked by
jfmm
7
in
Jokes & Riddles