The Mammogram.
For years and years they told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests".
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them so carefully,
And always wore my bra.
After many years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K.," I said, "let's do it".
"Stand up here real close", She said.
She got my boob in line.
"And tell me when it hurts", she said.
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine"!
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed ,
To Swedish Pancake thin!
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this thing,
My poor defenseless t*t!
"Take a deep breath", I heard her say.
The room was slowly swaying.
" Now, let's do the other one".
2006-10-02 06:18:34 · 12 answers · asked by jfmm 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
"Have Mercy", I was praying,
It squeezed me both up and down,
And squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet she never had this done,
To her tender little hide!
Next time I have to do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see,
My knockers getting steamrolled!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If a cyst had been in there,
It would have gone "Ker-Pow"!
This machine was created by a Man,
Of this I have no doubt!
I'd like to stick his B*lls in there
And see how THEY came out!
2006-10-02 06:27:37 · update #1
LMAO!!
One of the many reasons that I wouldn't want to be a woman!
2006-10-02 17:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor you - LOL, do not protect them ever after compleating this test.
2006-10-02 14:22:17 · answer #2 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao wow where did you get this from? This is such a cool poem. i look foward to more of your questions.
2006-10-02 14:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i just threw up in my mouth at the last two lines
2006-10-02 13:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Michael D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how u ladies walk around with those things....
2006-10-02 14:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can i put my balls in that vise? sounds like fun!
(no it doesn't)
â£
2006-10-02 13:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was great, and so true.
2006-10-02 13:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by ldycopperlk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scary, isn't it?
2006-10-02 13:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by Kharm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL This a good un! Thanks for the smile!
http://www.willyblues.com/
2006-10-02 13:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was good
2006-10-02 14:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by jazzy_jada02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋