As you slide down the banister of life, remember .
> >
> > 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
>It's called
> > "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
> >
> > 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
> >
> > 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects
>you to
> > kiss his ring.
> >
> > 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
> >
> > 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
> > bathroom.
> >
> > 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
>drink
> > spilled, and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
> >
> > 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
>there's
>
> > shipping and handling, too.
> >
> > 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
>impression
> > that he just cleaned the whole house.
> >
> > 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a
>large trash
> > can.
> >
> > 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me
>off. I
> > was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
> >
> > 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
>Viagra.
> > He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
> >
> > 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
>and found
> > him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be
>treated,
> > and he didn't have to worry
>about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making
> > a list of the people I want to bite."
> >
> > 13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
> >
> > 14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point
>the
> > wrong way.
> >
> > REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
>
>
>
2006-08-17
23:34:47
·
17 answers
·
asked by
Sangy .
4
in
Jokes & Riddles