OK it's friday - I need a laugh - What are your fav jokes?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

This is my all time favourite. It is really stupid, but it's because it is so stupid that it usually gets a laugh:

Q. What's brown and sticky
A. A stick

People think that there is no way that you can possibly come up with anything worse than that so I normally follow that one up with:

Q. What is green and smells of paint?
A. Green paint

Repetition is what makes this funny and it works really well when you are all drunk and your mate has just told some really intricate, sophisticated long joke.

Just thought of another:

Did you hear that the makers of Viagra have developed an 'antidote'. You put in your shoe and it instantly makes you limp.

Answer 3

Man walking streets late at night wearing only jacket, shirt and tie.
No trousers or undies. Friend says, "why are you dressed like rhat?". Man replies, "it's the wife's idea, I went out last night without a scarf and got a stiff neck".

Answer 4

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out.
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

Answer 5

This is from one of my fave shows, 8 simple rules.

Bridget (a sixteen yr old girl) wants to go to a nightclub but she is too young so she steals her older cousin's ID (CJ). They are both blonde. In the line, she meets a sexy man who really likes her, so he asks her out, not knowing her age. When she finds out that he is a policeman, she thinks that he is on to her (although he isn't) and that he knows that she is underage, so she goes home, but he follows her. The real CJ was going to go shopping with his grandad and aunt, but flunked them to go to a dating bar. He wouldn't tell them what kind of bar it is, so they suspect that he is gay. When they all go home, a man rings the doorbell and the aunt answers it. He says:
"I'm looking for a stunning blonde named CJ"

Then all members of the family look towards CJ as Bridget hides and they are thinking "GAY!!!"

Answer 6

aww i could do with a joke :) im a bit sad lol get the jokes in for this guy ! i want a laugh to x

Answer 7

Two men raid a chemist and steal a pack of Viagra tablets. Police are looking for two hardened criminals

Answer 8

A skeleton walk into a pub and order a pint of larger and a mop

Answer 9

Some of you guys are very pro...
just to add a joke i read some time ago

A farmer recently purchased a young and energetic rooster for breeding with his hens. The only other rooster in the farm, a old and weak rooster, was determined not to give up the hens to the punk.
He said : "Race me around the farm. if you win, i will give you all the hens and i will go quietly."
The young rooster looked at the old rooster and knew that he( th young one) would win. So, he arrogantly let the old rooster have a head-start or a quarter of the distance.
The old rooster started running, and at the quarter point the young one started speeding towards it.
At the halfway point, the young rooster was almost reaching the old one, and just one foot behind the old one they passed the farmhouse, where the farmer was sitting with a shotgun. He saw the roosters racing, and without a word raised his gun and blew away the young one.
"Dammit... the third gay rooster i bought this month..."


Sister Logical and Sister Mathematical

Sister Logical and Sister Mathematical were in the same convent, and they frequently walked the same long path to the convent together every week.
As their names suggested, one was very logical, and the other was very mathematical.
One night, they were walking along the dark and long street leading to their convent. After 10 minutes, Sister Maths looked behind them.
"Sister Logic, a man behind us is walking at a speed of 3 km/h. At this rate, he will reach us in 13.35 minutes. What should we do?"
"Isn't is logical? We just walk faster!"
Another 10 minutes pass, and the man also increased his speed.
"Sister Logic, That man is now walking at 3.56km/h. He will reach us in 10.55 recurring minutes. What should we do?"
"Isn't it logical Sister Maths? We just walk even faster!"
Soon, the two nuns were running flat out, and the man was pounding behind them.
"What are we going to do? At this rate he will reach us in 4.2 minutes!"
"Isn't it logical Sister Maths? We spilt up! One man cannot follow 2 women."
They decide to split up, and Sister Maths went the more direct path to the convent, while Logical went on a longer detour.
The man decided to follow Sister Logical.

An hour later, Sister Maths was anxiously waiting for Sister Logical when she came running in, drenched in sweat.
"What happened?"
"Well, logically, the man followed me."
"I know that! What happened after that!"
"As you so pointed out, Sister Maths, that the man was faster than me, so logically, he reached me."
"Oh My God! What did he do to you?"
"Well, he pulled down his pants."
"*gasp"
"And i pulled up my skirt."
"Oh My God! What happened after that?"
"Isn't it logical Sister Maths? A woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his pants down...

Answer 10

What`s that again?
When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were
supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you".Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate)
meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and
make you pregnant