Religion & Spirituality - 15 September 2006

Bible funnies:

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest Financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groannn...)

PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "Hebrews"

2006-09-15 16:05:52 · 13 answers · asked by basscatcher 4

I have always wondered if there are really whitches like that and magic like that and demons like that. Please, if you know the anwer, please help in finding this out. I have heard that there are whitches and all but i want to know if there are powerful whitches that other whitches look up to and are known and that fight evil all the time. Are there really demons that they fight? Are there really whitches that fight them like that. Are there really whitches and demons like in the movie Charmed and are they really fought like that and are they all really "vanquised" and destoryed like that.

Please, help me.
Thanks so much

2006-09-15 16:05:29 · 8 answers · asked by Drummaneer 1

He all of of a sudeen quotes some midevil scripture that degrades muslims all over the world. I wonder if it is necessary to have some old hag running a church?

2006-09-15 16:04:49 · 18 answers · asked by Boom!!! Shock A Locka 5

2006-09-15 16:03:11 · 13 answers · asked by Mona|isa 2

Like does the persons soul rise when they die or when Jesus comes back to judge. No smart a holes answers.

2006-09-15 16:00:57 · 30 answers · asked by angelalovin2003 3

2006-09-15 16:00:50 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous

First a cartoon and now riots over the pope's quote. Westerners deliberately criticize their own religion, politics and social behavior hundreds of times daily. Yet, if anything comes close to offending Isalm, the entire Muslim world freaks out. Why?

2006-09-15 15:59:36 · 28 answers · asked by Peter P 2

Would people wear them on their neckless? Think about it.

2006-09-15 15:59:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Excerpts from a new Holy Book called the Naruq.
The Holy Naruq promotes a peaceful religion. Don't say it doesn't or I will call you stupid and tell you not to take the verses out of context!

Some excerpts:



8:12 We will cast terror into the hearts of Muslims. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them.

3:28, Let not the non-Muslims take for friends or helpers the Muslims.

85, Rouse the non-Muslims to the fight against Muslims.

9:5, Then fight and slay the Muslims wherever ye find them,

9:14, Fight the Muslims, and God will punish them by your hands, cover them with shame.

9:23, O ye the non-Muslims take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love Islam.

9:28, O ye the non-Muslims! Truly the Muslims are unclean.

9:123, O ye non-Muslims! fight the Muslims who gird you about, and let them find firmness in you

Does this seem peaceful? Ahhhh yes

2006-09-15 15:58:12 · 11 answers · asked by crash 3

2006-09-15 15:57:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am really leaning towards becoming a female (episcopalian)priest, and I wanted to see other peoples stories.

2006-09-15 15:57:47 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-15 15:57:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Does he prefer pretty people?

2006-09-15 15:55:05 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

Come on ppl give me better answers i already know your gonna say.. it is with out mistake i know the social meaning of it.. look outside the box and see perfect how you wanna see it. maybe its doing what you wanna do put.. it this way if you were forced to be perfect than you would... if your life depended on it ... in that case perfection is possible... you just dont want it.... cause its not important Perfect example of wants and dont wants ...... A fat man drinking slimfast on the couch watchin t.v complaining he isnt losing wieght and a fat man at the gym 6 days a week for 4 hours a day ok who wants it more...... just because you dont want perfection don't mean it aint posssible.. if you are perfect to and with yourself that means you are perfect not what others say is perfect how can they tell you what perfect is to you... ex. i cant tell some one what is romantic because it is defferent to everyone but they cant say what i say is romantic isnt because it is a feeling

2006-09-15 15:53:44 · 8 answers · asked by jaja_juice 1

I go to a christian fellowship. I love it there! I was just curious to see where everyone else is going!

2006-09-15 15:52:52 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-15 15:49:55 · 15 answers · asked by doggybag300 6

So the cross that everyone symbolizes with Jesus wouldn't be accurate? If so, why do all the churches use the cross on everything?

2006-09-15 15:49:37 · 20 answers · asked by 2fatrightnow 2

2006-09-15 15:48:18 · 27 answers · asked by MAK 6

2006-09-15 15:47:49 · 13 answers · asked by pickle head 6

I heard this. What about more than one husband?

2006-09-15 15:47:37 · 15 answers · asked by Jazz 2

OK fundis: Jesus said "do not let your right hand know what your left hand does" (basically I could not find the exact verse). So why do you shove religion down throats? And no BS about "preach to all nations" either. Keyword preach not harrass. I mean why aren't you following Jesus??

I am normally very tolerant but after listening to some bible thumper for two hours I need a real answer!

AND I'M RELIGOUS AND I STILL HAD TO LISTEN TO HER CRAP!!

2006-09-15 15:47:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

dont you think that if muslims can change their behaviour and interpret islam in a humane way that they will be respected? afterall who will like a prophet who led an unholy life as mohomed did. who will like a religion that oppresses women , kill non muslims and take up terroism.

am i right or wrong?

2006-09-15 15:46:42 · 11 answers · asked by walking stick 1

2006-09-15 15:45:40 · 5 answers · asked by MAK 6

My parents are buhddist, and i guess they expect me to just be one too. they have never really exactly taken me to a temple, never taught me much about the religion. When i was younger i once in a while would go to a christian chuch with one of my friends. and now that i have grown up i've taken going to church more seirously. I dont know what to tell my parents, would they mind? what about me getting baptised? How do i know that im making the right choice? I want to follow god but I dont want my family upset about this. help!?

2006-09-15 15:45:22 · 17 answers · asked by blahblah10 2

2006-09-15 15:45:08 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a christian btw.

2006-09-15 15:44:42 · 12 answers · asked by Demon slayer 3

2006-09-15 15:44:31 · 14 answers · asked by bobkgin 3

Are you believers in Yahshua the Messiah?

I was just wondering because I am, and wanted to see if anybody was on this thing by chance!

2006-09-15 15:42:57 · 11 answers · asked by The Man 2

Don't you know God doesn't exist?

I hope Im helping you out here, so you can all stop wasting your time.

2006-09-15 15:41:01 · 26 answers · asked by moooooo 1

2006-09-15 15:40:29 · 21 answers · asked by I hate Satan 1