Bible funnies:
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest Financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groannn...)
PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "Hebrews"
2006-09-15 16:05:52 · 13 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is great.....we all need to join in with our Christian humor...good guy!!!
2006-09-15 16:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by Cassie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard this one?
"A priest & a nun were playing golf one Sunday behind the church after his Sunday surmon, & the priest seemed to be having a really bad day, as he could not seem to get the ball into any of the holes he was playing.
"Damn! Missed again!", he would shout aloud each time the ball missed a hole.
"Father! You must not speak like that in the presence of God's house!" replied the nun over & over as the priest continued to curse the golf course after each missed hole.
"Damn! Missed again!" shouted the priest again in a fury of rage & defeat over his horrible luck on the green this day.
"Father! I've warned you several times now, if you don't stop, the Lord is going to smote you for this!"
Sure enough, the priest missed the ninth hole once more & responded with his signature: "Damn! Missed again!" cry, raising his club high into the air & crying in dispair.
Suddenly the sky opened up & a bolt of lightenig came down & struck the nun, knocking her dead.
Just then a deep, booming voice came from above & with absolute rage, the preist heard the first words from God himself:
"Damn! Missed again!""
2006-09-15 23:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren C.: Led-head 4 (∞) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2006-09-15 23:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by pink9364 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are funny! But have you heard this one?
St. Peter is manning the Pearly Gates as usual, when Jesus walks by. Peter says, "Lord, please watch the gates so I can run to the bathroom. All you have to do is wait for someone to come to the gate, ask them a few questions, and look for their name in the Book." Jesus agrees, and no sooner does Peter leave, but a little old man comes to the gate. Jesus says, "What is your name?" The old man answers, "In English my name was pronounced Joseph." Jesus says, "Occupation?" The old man says, "I was a carpenter." Jesus asks, "Did you have any children?" The old man says, "I had one son. He was not of this world, and he had nail holes in his hands and feet." Jesus runs to him excitedly and yells, "Father!" The old man peers up at him and says, "Pinocchio?"
2006-09-15 23:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by p2of9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny stuff.
And the little boy who could not do his math, got his first A, after he was sent to the catholic school for help, he said seeing the man nailed to the plus sign, let him know they meant business.
2006-09-15 23:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by jeni 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really funny in the strictest sense of the word
2006-09-15 23:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by cattywattygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There bad so bad I'm coping them and going to report them to all may Friends!!!!
2006-09-16 01:18:44 · answer #7 · answered by Grandreal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones! I think I'll use a couple of these. I hope you don't mind.
2006-09-15 23:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by Monique 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Those were good. I'll have to share them with my pastor.
2006-09-15 23:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by TJMiler 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shortest person in the bible--------- Knee high am I
2006-09-15 23:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by unicorn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thank you for sharing!! i especially like "hebrews" and will pass that one on to my husband :)
2006-09-15 23:17:27 · answer #11 · answered by panamm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋