Senior Citizens

HINT: My husband caught me at 1:30 AM coming through the kitchen door with a dinosaur and chalk eggs.

2007-11-28 10:23:22 · 23 answers · asked by Granny 6

and I got to wondering -why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

2007-11-28 10:16:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

on your body, that when touched by anyone else, instantly gave you an orgasm, where would you want it to be?

2007-11-28 10:13:50 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

the one thing that always makes you smile, what would it be?

2007-11-28 10:11:45 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at 'Do it All' any more either."

2007-11-28 10:09:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

a song right now to your lover or spouse, which song would you pick?

2007-11-28 10:09:09 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Sorry if it sounded a bit awkward asking. (Limited Question Space) The main point of the message is eventually I want to be willing to devote time with needed elderly. Just wandering this would be a great thing to do. All I know is that in today's world most young people can sometimes be self centered (not all), but seems like some are more on the side of disrespecting them, then treating them friendly. And when this occurs I know that by experience that one little help or friendly conversation can let them feel that they are important people in our lives still. I am a person that has great amount of empathy in my heart and this is how I would like to share it.

2007-11-28 09:55:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

What would you say to someone younger, to better prepare us for our coming years?

2007-11-28 09:54:52 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

The neighbors that was adults when you were a child? Did they leave a impression on your life?

2007-11-28 09:49:38 · 40 answers · asked by Livelife 5

Man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs. A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.

The man advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out.

Shortly before landing, she announced to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Sydney, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them herself!

2007-11-28 09:46:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

So the other night my wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we’re laying in bed. I looked over at her and, in my sexiest voice, asked her “Wanna have sex?”

“No.” She answered.

I said, “Is that your final answer?”

“Yes.” She replied.

So I said, “I’d like to phone a friend

2007-11-28 09:06:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Now that a lot of us are into winter what kinds of things are you planning, hoping to take part in? Skiing, skating, cross country skiing, snow mobiling, ice fishing, running out of the sauna to roll in the snow and then back into the sauna again? We used to do that with our hot tub - the kids and I, boy that kick starts your heart and gets it going real good.

2007-11-28 09:06:51 · 11 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

meal delivered fresh for a smile? Wheels on Wheels is good for those who are shut-ins.
Do you have one in your community? A Meals-On-Wheels Program? Is it working well or do you need funding?

2007-11-28 08:50:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-28 08:31:38 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

I get together with old friends and family that I haven't seen in years; some of them have passed on. We are always doing interesting things. Quite often I'm in my little old home town with them. The town is great, all kinds of things to do and see, which is totally different from it was in my youth and is today.

Maybe that's where we go afterwards, you know, just into our dreams. Or maybe my dreams are just trying to make things better than what they were.

2007-11-28 08:10:46 · 16 answers · asked by TRAF 4

y doesnt n e 1 ask about seniour citezen questions in the senior citezen section??

2007-11-28 08:07:51 · 17 answers · asked by rivery 3

I appreciate jokes. No problem with them. However, Seniors have a lot of life experiences, and wisdom to share, so why "not so funny jokes?" You can't tell me people stop thinking and reasoning after 65...?

2007-11-28 07:59:37 · 22 answers · asked by dasupr 4

Or wish you were back in the daily workforce? Do you keep a daily schedule?

2007-11-28 07:56:38 · 18 answers · asked by Wandering In The Wilderness 4

By a certain man on seniors site whom I have asked several times now to answer my question so I wont be violated for answering my own question? This "gentleman" isnt even answering my emails, and after I answered his concerning uh certain - clothing - I am feeling quite slighted. Is he too busy playing the field on Seniors? He IS apparently quite the ladies man from what I have heard and read --

If someone else can answer the trivia question so I can resolve it I would appreciate it - Sage bail me out seeing as you know who is too busy emailing other female members to respond to my requests - thanks

2007-11-28 07:50:50 · 15 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarden students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still wouldn't go on. By the time she got the 2nd boot on she had worked up quite a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said they were on the wrong feet. She looked and sure enough they were on the wrong feet.It wasn't any easier pulling them off than putting them on either. She managed to keep her cool as they worked to get the boots back on the right. He then announced,"These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted too. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill fitting boots off. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said. "they're my brothers boots. My Mom made me wear em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry but she mustered up what grace and courage she had

2007-11-28 07:47:32 · 16 answers · asked by Diana 7

As Steve McQueen has made his appearance here on YA it brought to mind other heart throbs of days past.

Who were yours?

2007-11-28 07:46:06 · 26 answers · asked by Grace 5

A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."

The husband said, "What did he say about your 56 year old *ss?"

"Your name never came up," she replied

2007-11-28 07:33:31 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gun bearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leaped toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I just soiled myself."

The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

The old explorer said, "No, not back then - just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''"

2007-11-28 07:27:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

The wife was on her deathbed, with her husband at her side.
She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."
"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Hubby as he wiped the tears from wifey's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

2007-11-28 07:14:22 · 16 answers · asked by Croeso 6

tv commercial you've ever seen...why ? (past and present commercials accepted).

2007-11-28 07:13:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-28 07:11:57 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Buzz off, ye'll no bring it back!"

2007-11-28 07:10:31 · 18 answers · asked by Croeso 6

seem to pertain to key words in our questions? Watch, hormones, depression, sailing, security.

2007-11-28 06:51:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-28 06:50:52 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Tommy to the doctor.

After the examination, the doctor said, "His unit is too small. An old wives' tale is to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight."

The next morning Tommy jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. There on the table, are twelve slices of toast.

"Mom!" Tommy yells. "The doctor said I only had to eat two slices of toast."

"I know." said his mother. "The other ten are for your father."

2007-11-28 06:37:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous