Senior Citizens (Cultures & Groups, Society & Culture)

In search of adventure, an attractive young lady decided to head for the Far East, and stowed herself away on the first ship available. After a month, she was discovered by the captain, who was surprised to see that, despite her time at sea, she was remarkably well fed and clean. Though realising she must have been befriended by someone on board, he was surprised when she admitted that she had been to the cabin of his trusted first officer every morning. Apparently, the nice young man provided a hot bath and three-course meal, and said that he would continue to do so until they reached Japan.
"And what did he ask in return?" demanded the captain.
"Well, you might say that he took advantage," blushed the girl.
"I'll say he did," chuckled the old sea dog, rubbing his whisckers. "You're on the Liverpool to Birkenhead ferry

2007-11-29 02:39:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

10 ⤊

do you remember the man at the seafood counter who.....?

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $5 each," says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."

2007-11-29 02:35:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 ⤊

do you remember the teacher.........?

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct, now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
--------------------------------------...
*TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
------------------------------
*TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
-------------------------
*TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
-----------------------
*TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
------------
It's always a blast to laugh :-)
1 day ago - 2 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 day ago

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
-----------------
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
------------------
TEACHER:George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:Because George still had the ax in his hand.
------------------------------------
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
--------------
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
-------------
TEACHER: Harold what do u call a person who keeps on talking when people r no longer interested?
Harold: a teacher

2007-11-29 02:33:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

24 ⤊

Do you as a senior do your part to recycling?

2007-11-29 02:29:16 · 12 answers · asked by gggggg 6

10 ⤊

Why is the wedding ring worn on the 4th finger?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese Legend...

Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back
Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.
Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

Try it out.

2007-11-29 02:17:25 · 16 answers · asked by Lady G 6

14 ⤊

Can you relate to this?

AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIS GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS CRYING AND AT TIMES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS.

AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE COULD HEAR HIM SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...

"WE ARE ALMOST DONE, ALBERT...
TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...
LIFE WILL GET BETTER, ALBERT..."

AS HE APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE TODDLER'S
TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAID AGAIN,

"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...
WE WILL BE HOME SOON, ALBERT..."

AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO CRY AS A YOUNG WOMAN IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID, "SIR, I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."

THE OLD GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING,

MY GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN..........

I'M ALBERT...........

2007-11-29 02:16:08 · 12 answers · asked by Lady G 6

20 ⤊

Did you watch Good Morning America?

This young 15 yr old, Vince Mira singing Johnny Cash song Burning ring of fire, Sounds just like him he has a CD coming out in Feb.with the help of Johnny s son

2007-11-29 01:14:34 · 8 answers · asked by Jan 6

9 ⤊

Remember this Christmas Light video?

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/just_plain_stupid/house_lights#1559

Can you imagine the electric bill?

2007-11-29 00:55:43 · 10 answers · asked by Lady G 6

18 ⤊

Packers or Cowboys?

Or you don't care, especially if you aren't in the US.

I live in Wisconsin, so you know who I'll be rooting for. I've never been much of a sports fan. I have rooted for whatever team the friends and man in my life were interested in. But Brett Favre is so much fun to watch, even I can't wait for this game!

2007-11-29 00:25:16 · 31 answers · asked by Lady G 6

15 ⤊

What was your favorite variety show?

Such as Red Skelton, Milton Berle, Mitch Miller, The Smothers Brothers, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, Carol Burnett....

2007-11-29 00:13:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

16 ⤊

What did you think of the GOP last night????

I think the "buck" is still floating around!

2007-11-29 00:09:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

24 ⤊

Would you think this was a meant as a insult ?

Insults
I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
You are a day late and a dollar short.
Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.
You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
Shock me, say something intelligent.
I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
You are so stupid you got hit by a parked car.
Ha ha ha ha.

2007-11-29 00:03:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

17 ⤊

Why can't Johnny Read. Or why is it that young people today cannot?

Form a simple sentence without sounding like complete morons?
Just read a question that started out Has anybody ever...and I wanted to answer no, they just put the place there so people would ask stupid questions like has anybody ever gone there. Has this happened to you?

2007-11-28 23:41:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

21 ⤊

If you have a miserable middle-aged child who doesn't stay in touch, do you remain uninvolved?

2007-11-28 22:31:37 · 20 answers · asked by Dinah 7

24 ⤊

What do you hate about moving day?

2007-11-28 22:15:15 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

6 ⤊

Did you like the trunk monkey commercials?

2007-11-28 21:55:40 · 13 answers · asked by ncgirl 6

38 ⤊

Do some people give 'thumbs down' just to make their own answer look better?

What's your opinion?
Don't want to get into personalities, but.......

2007-11-28 20:51:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

7 ⤊

One for cat lovers, ever heard of ligers and tigons.?

2007-11-28 19:16:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 ⤊

I stole this from Readers Digest whilst sitting in the Doctors waiting room?

Two old gentlemen sat on a park bench, one asks the other "how's the wife?"," I think she's dead" says the second. What do you mean you think shes dead? he exclaimed. Well said the second."The sex is still much as it always was! but the dirty pots are building up in the Sink!"

2007-11-28 18:46:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

4 ⤊

Do you like to play card games or board games?

What are your favorites called?
Do you like to play with friends or grandkids?

2007-11-28 18:15:30 · 21 answers · asked by PBcruzr 4

20 ⤊

What makes people think the Scots are mean ?

A wealthy Scotsman woke up one morning to find that his wife had passed away in the night. He jumped from his bed and ran, horror-stricken, into the hall. " Mary, " he called downstairs to the general servant in the kitchen, " come to the foot of the stairs, quickly ! "
" Yes, yes, " she cried. " What is it ? What is it ? "
" Boil only one egg for breakfast this morning ! "

2007-11-28 16:47:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

19 ⤊