Senior Citizens

I know there are plenty of bad ones out there, but the one that immediately comes to mind is "Distinguished Gentlemen". Turned it off after about 10 minutes.

2007-12-06 11:46:11 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-06 11:40:19 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

in those little photo booths? In my MUCH younger years my then husband and I had a little fun in one. Once we had kids I made him destroy the pictures.

2007-12-06 11:39:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

if you receive a link saying dont miss this, do not click on it ! it says find out who blocked you or deleted you - DO NOT do this, it a trap to capture live email addresses AND your password to them

2007-12-06 11:30:21 · 18 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

2007-12-06 11:21:31 · 11 answers · asked by Tracer 5

Those little teeth can go missing if they are just put under a pillow, so I made my kids a little tooth fairy cushion, about four inches across, a little pocket on the side of it to slip a tooth into. My daughters of course was all lacy and frou frou and fairyish -

I thought it might be a good craft idea for some of you crafty types.

2007-12-06 11:12:46 · 6 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

We have an doggie chew toy from the kid's dog when they were children. It has a red ribbon around it and a picture of "Molly" in the middle. Of course, the dog is long gone now, but the memory lives on through this unusual ornament. What's the strangest ornament on your tree this year?

2007-12-06 11:08:17 · 12 answers · asked by Gladys 6

He is paid way too money for what he does... he used to get pretty raunchy on his radio station... but calmed down after he started the Imus Ranch.... I would love to get paid the money he does for saying "nothing"

2007-12-06 10:58:24 · 23 answers · asked by ? 3

A Blonde goes into a Pharmacy
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell
rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But, I always buy it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at
it and says to her,
"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant".
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container.........
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BO@@OM."

2007-12-06 10:57:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale

2007-12-06 10:52:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

ruffled petticoats on under the skirts?

2007-12-06 10:49:55 · 23 answers · asked by Star doodle 2

Bob was sitting in the bus. On his right was his friend Joe and on his left was a woman who was a complete stranger.

Bob whispers to Joe: "Lets get off at the next stop I have to pee really badly and I don't think I can hold it much longer..."
Joe: "Just pee in that woman's pocket"
Bob: "Don't you think she will notice?"
Joe: "Did you?"

2007-12-06 10:45:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and> sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.>> When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders threemore.>> The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it> would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies,> "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in> Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that> we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.">> The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.>> The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way:he> orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from eachof> them in turn.>> One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in thebar> notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the secondround,> the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wantedto> offer my condolences on your great loss.">> The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then light dawns in his eye andhe> laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "My brothers are fine. It's me ... I've quit> drinking!

2007-12-06 10:42:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a man who took great care of his body. One day whilst looking at himself in the mirror he noticed he was all tanned except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it, so he went down to the beach, stripped totally naked and buried himself in the sand except for his penis which he left sticking out.
A short while later, two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one of them was using a walking cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand she started prodding it with her cane remarking to the other old lady "There's just no justice in this world!". The other old lady asked what she meant.
Well, she replied, when I was 20 I was curious about it, when I was 30 I really enjoyed it. Then when I was 40 I asked for it and at 50 I even paid for it. When I was 60 I started praying for it and when I reached 70 I forgot all about it.
Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm to old to squat!!

2007-12-06 10:38:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

George Bush, Chinese President, Penelope Cruz and Sonia Gandhi are traveling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel. Everybody was sitting there looking perplexed.

Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

_Sonia is thinking:_
These Americans are all crazy after Penelope Cruz.
Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

_Penelope Cruz is thinking:_
Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got
slapped.

_Bush is thinking:_
Damn it. The Chinese President must have tried to kiss Penelope Cruz. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

_The Chinese President is thinking:_
If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing
sound and slap Bush again....

2007-12-06 10:35:18 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-06 10:22:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

What happened to our Scottish friends and our hillbilly visitors? Must we go on alone?

2007-12-06 10:03:24 · 13 answers · asked by 2jaxx 5

What happened to our Scottish friends and our hillbilly visitors? Must we go on alone?

2007-12-06 10:02:39 · 9 answers · asked by 2jaxx 5

If yes, then how long have you been wearing dentures? Are they comfortable?

2007-12-06 09:40:23 · 13 answers · asked by Miz D 6

Artery The study of painting!
Bacteria Back door to the cafeteria!
Caesarean Section A district in Rome!
Cat Scan Searching for kitty!
Colic A sheep dog!
Coma Punctuation!
Congenital Friendly
D & C Where Washington is!
Dilate To live long!
Enema Not a friend!
Genital Not Jewish!
Impotent Distinguished, well known!
Labor pain Getting hurt at work!
Medical Staff A doctor's cane!
Morbid High offer!
Nitrate Cheaper than day rate!
Outpatient Person who has fainted!
Pap smear Fatherhood test!
Pelvis Cousin of Elvis!
Post operative Letter Carrier!
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery!
Rectum Damn near killed him!
Secretion Hiding something!
Seizure Rome Emperor!
Tablet A small table!
Terminal illness Getting sick at the airport!
Tumour More than one more!
Urine Opposite of "You're Out"!
Varicose Near by!
Vein Conceited!

2007-12-06 09:27:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Cami is my best friend ever. I want to have a housewarming party but I requested NO GIFTS. I'm an older woman and I have everything I need. I would just have more "stuff" that I don't know what to do with. I only have a senior apartment with no storage. Cami says she won't come if she can't bring something. I need her there. It wouldn't be special without her. How can I get her to come without a gift? If she brought something, everybody that DIDN'T bring one would feel bad because I told them they would be sent back to the car without any supper if they had a gift in their hand... What 2 dooo?

2007-12-06 08:53:30 · 10 answers · asked by Wet Doggie 5

2007-12-06 08:45:43 · 14 answers · asked by Riverrat 5

2007-12-06 07:56:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

I love Google Earth, Amazon and Razzledazzlerecipes.com

2007-12-06 07:51:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just learned of several I never heard of.

2007-12-06 07:47:05 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

Just having fun with it all today.

2007-12-06 07:39:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

but deep inside still carry a torch for someone long ago . Do you belive that person was your one and only true love?

2007-12-06 07:18:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

These are meant to be funny, I mean, thought provoking. Oh, heck, just please answer

1. Do bald men wash their heads with soap or shampoo?

2. What color hair do they put on a bald person's driver's license?

2007-12-06 07:13:41 · 15 answers · asked by Lady G 6

2007-12-06 07:12:54 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

...and will it hold a special place in your heart because it was
the...FIRST.

2007-12-06 07:09:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous