Senior Citizens

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye was admitted to Oxford University, and was now living in his first year of residence there. His clan was very excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but were concerned how he'd do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit, with reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Oh, Mother," he replied, shaking his head sadly, "they're such terrible, noisy people: The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and woon't stop; and the one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night."

"But Donald! How do you manage with those dreadful noisy English neighbours?"

"Well, mother, I just ignore 'em. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

2007-12-05 12:22:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-05 11:45:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

With the writer's strike, Jay has been going into reruns! Does it freak you out like it does me to watch shows that are 20 yrs old, and the way Jay ages and gets younger every other night? Hilarious! And last nite George Clooney was SO YOUNG! Hilarious!

2007-12-05 11:44:25 · 13 answers · asked by Isadora 6

And could you please tell me your age? Thanks!

2007-12-05 11:31:57 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

8.

2007-12-05 11:02:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

OK - all of us did not have June Cleaver for a Mom...the powers that be know I didn't.

But after age 50 I learned to count the blessings rather than the negatives and I found many things my mom gave me that have served me well in life.

For me [given we were a military family that went everywhere we could with my Dad] it was making a HOME no matter where we were, for how long or under what circumstances.

Even my grandaughter tells me "G'ma, your house always seems like HOME!'

Share yours!

2007-12-05 10:36:02 · 30 answers · asked by sage seeker 7

Its on here, I try to catch it, I always loved his show, what most did you like about it? i love the lennon sisters to,

2007-12-05 10:31:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

or just pick your songs or singer from any date

2007-12-05 10:30:59 · 19 answers · asked by gggggg 6

2007-12-05 10:28:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

theres a Place( gift shop) everything of wizard of oz & every September, they have the Whats left( i think only 4 ) there in the 80s, To meet up here, Its called the yellow brick road( in chesterton indianna)
109 E yellow brick road in phone ( 219) 926-7048

2007-12-05 10:25:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tagging off of Mr. Ed's questions here, hope you don't mind!

The Seven Heavenly Virtues:
faith, hope, charity, fortitude, justice, temperance, prudence

BTW, a bit of trivia here: Versions of the 7 Deadly Sins and the 7 Heavenly Virtues have been taught by the Christian Church at least the 5th Century.

2007-12-05 10:23:11 · 16 answers · asked by ? 7

2007-12-05 10:20:46 · 14 answers · asked by Tracer 5

Grandmother would take a ruined shirt and cut all the buttons off and save them in a jar. If we ever lost a button, she might have a matching button to sew on for us in that old jar!

2007-12-05 09:34:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-05 09:33:21 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

Yesterday, there was a message on our phone for my son, and he also rec'd the message on his cell phone. They claimed to from U.S. Bank (where he does have an acct.) and wanted some financial information and left a phone number. He called but did not give them any info. He then called his "real" bank and no one from there had called him. Had to be a scam. Watch out for this one.

2007-12-05 08:30:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

do you break daily and for those who do not
which ones would like to see dropped from the list

please do not get these mixed up with the ten commandments

2007-12-05 08:25:34 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't know who wrote it or who sang it.. I don't even know the name of it. Here are some of the words. I'm putting it here because it's old and I've always had luck here before.. OK here goes...... "Well it went zip when it ran, pop when it stopped, whirr when it stood still! I didn't know just what it was and I guess I never will!" I'm 67 and I remember it... If you do, tell me about it. I'd like the lyrics again. Thanks

2007-12-05 08:08:23 · 11 answers · asked by Wet Doggie 5

2007-12-05 08:03:04 · 57 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-05 07:57:51 · 6 answers · asked by Lec H 1

"accident" scene ? Were you able to assist or was it too frightening to get involved ?
(For the ones that were unable to get involved...take heart...it is a scary event to cope with)

2007-12-05 07:50:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just tuned into CNN & heard that a manhunt is underway for a man, in a green vest, carrying a rifle who has shot five people. The shooting took place in the Von Maur Dept. store. How horrible!!!

2007-12-05 07:40:10 · 29 answers · asked by Shortstuff13 7

A rabbi,a priest and a minister have their houses of worship side by side,
so they decide to carpool.

The first day, the other two are shocked to see the pastor lay hands on the
hood and pray silently.

"What are you doing?" the priest asks.

The pastor looks up. "I'm just dedicating the car to the Lord's service."

"Good idea! Be right back!" the priest exclaims, running to his church. He
emerges with a bulb on a short stick, shaking water out of it onto the car.

The rabbi stares. "What are you doing?" he says.

"I'm consecrating it with holy water," the priest replies.

"Great idea!" the rabbi says, and runs into his synagogue's toolshed.

He emerges with a hacksaw and takes off an inch of the tailpipe.

2007-12-05 07:22:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where is he?

2007-12-05 07:16:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

As I was growing up ,my Dad, who worked in retail in London, used to bring me home 5 dresses, If I liked them all, I kept them. Things were chosen , for me.
When I got married, had 3 kids, didn't have the money to spend on myself.
Eventually spent money on myself, clothes wise, through catalogues.
Now, Partner gives me £200 to get something nice and I come back with nothing! I have been in tears before now when I have actually gone out to buy something I want but I just can't do it!
I remember seeing a pair of trousers in M&S for £49. and I just couldn't spend the money.
Most of my clothes are from 20 years ago, old faded and wrinkled, a bit like me really but, am I the only woman in the world who can't shop?

2007-12-05 07:03:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

email you and leave a real nasty message and you do not have the foggiest ideal what brought it on and (here is where the coward comes in) and you do not have any way to email them back to find out what the heck they are talking about -- if you think coward is too weak or strong feel free to use your own term!!!

2007-12-05 06:43:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Japanese student in USA classroom

It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history:Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up."Patrick Henry, 1775."She said. "Very good!" Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People,shall not perish from the Earth?"Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863", said Suzuki.The teacher snapped at the class,"Class, you should be ashamed.Suzuki,who is new to our country, knows moreabout our history than you do.She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs""Who said that?" she demanded.Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca,1982"At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke [vomit]"The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991"Now furious, another student yells,"Oh yeah? Suck this!" Suzuki jumpsout of his chair waving his hand andshouts to the teacher,"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001." (The teacher fainted.)And as the class gathered around the teacher onthe floor, someone said,"Oh ****, we're f**ked!" and Suzuki said, "Americans,... in Iraq

2007-12-05 06:34:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Best 'Out of Office' Automated Replies


1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless mails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many individuals did this over and over).

6: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7: I've run away to join a different circus.

8: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.

2007-12-05 06:27:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

How is it that socks, an inanimate item have somehow developed a life of their own? I have seen a sock hanging in a tree in the park, seen one hanging from a telephone wire, I once saw on leap out of the window of a car ahead of me.

I have found socks (always one why is that?) in my yard that dont belong to me - how do they get there? I have seen a sock washed in with the tide.

They move from drawer to drawer in the house, they disappear from the washing machine - they turn up in unexpected places. I once had one fall out of my jean leg while I was shopping - I have seen them clinging to someone's back in the mall -

You dress a tiny baby to go out, come back a few seconds later and whats missing? A sock. I once watched one work its way off my sons foot while he was watching TV - inch by inch until it was free, then it immediately scooted under the couch. And disappeared

Of all the clothing we own what is it with socks?

2007-12-05 06:08:39 · 22 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

and i am sure it really is very important to over half of the folks on this web site -- take it make only in america

2007-12-05 06:08:12 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

is it 60, 65 ...or is it 70yrs ? thank you for any serious answers.

2007-12-05 06:08:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous