Senior Citizens

went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one into four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore. I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my shoes."

2007-12-05 21:17:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please when you answer this question give your age out. You don't have to answer this question if don't have if you don't have to. This question is for people over the age 60 and up up only.

2007-12-05 21:14:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a pensioner who has been advised to go and live in a warm dry climate for the benefit of my arthritis and weak chest. I have no other languages, not a great deal of money and do not want the exercise to be too complicated. Spain is the obvious choice and there are communities of Brits. there, which would ease the language problem. However I am not really keen to live by the beach on the Costa Del Fish and Chips. In fact I don't care if I never see a beach again. There are places like Malta and Cyprus, but I do not know if an island climate would suit. I will have to rely on public, not private health facilities. Can any kind person with RELEVANT EXPERIENCE advise me please?

2007-12-05 20:18:29 · 13 answers · asked by fred35 6

Just one more question before I go to bed!

What is your personal style? Outdoorsy, sporty, classic, sophisticated, eclectic, preppy, practical, classy, plain jane, arty, vintage, grunge, western, other?
I tend to be eclectic with my clothes, long skirts are my favorite things to dress up in, sometimes "gypsy" style, but I wear jeans and sweatshirts a lot too. And I wear a lot of classic clothes too (at least I did when I went to work every day) and some times lots of leather and cashmere and beads and velvets. I love velvet, esp black. With lots of lace. Vintage sweaters, and skirts. Leather jackets with fringe. High heels and boots, of all kinds, still wear tennis shoes and sandals a lot. But when I am working in my garden or studio I tend to go for grunge and sometimes I think I look like a bag lady, lol! Grubby, too! My jewelry tends to be arty and one of a kind. No tattoos, tho!

2007-12-05 19:31:59 · 22 answers · asked by Isadora 6

e.g. money,clothes,toys...
How do you know if they appreciate your gift?

2007-12-05 18:58:45 · 18 answers · asked by PBcruzr 4

2007-12-05 17:50:44 · 28 answers · asked by whimsy 3

don't they taste so much better store bought ones? we grow all sorts of herbs, tomatos, chillies. pumpkin, shallots, pawpaw, lettuce, tried cauli, cabbage, and a few others but weren't to successful. still we enjoy what we do grow, and swap and share with friends and family. we don't do to bad for a small suburbian garden.

2007-12-05 17:46:52 · 7 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside
your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic
button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue
to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came
from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night
and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm
system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it.
It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking
until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the
key fob chain.
It works if you park in your driveway or garage If your car alarm goes off
when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar or
rapist won't stick around... after a few seconds all the neighbors will be
looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the
criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to
your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there..... This
is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could
save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you
can't reach a phone.

My friends Mom has suggested to her Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case
he falls outside and she doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm
and then she'll know there's a problem.

2007-12-05 16:52:28 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

I love the oddest and weirdest house shoes that I can find. What are yours? Here is a list of the ones that I have:

Slip on's are:
medium blue fizzy
red metallic with fake fur across the top
bright orange with a witch on the toes
light purple catipillar with dark purple wings

Then the house "shoes" (these have the back to them) are:
light gray rabbits
brown monkeys
St.Bernard puppy
Dr.Seuss, hat is 5 inches tall
dark brown beaver

I am still looking for more. I did have some that were black bears, but wore them so much that I wore them out.

So what kind do you have, if any?

2007-12-05 16:33:19 · 16 answers · asked by SapphireB 6

2007-12-05 16:32:41 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous

I love hot and sour soup, crispy beef and Kung Po Chicken.

2007-12-05 16:31:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

Someone famous' autograph?
Mine was Vincent Price when I was about 10 and he was in a play of "Peter Pan" that I went and saw with my Girl Scout Troop. OH-also Casey Kasem.

2007-12-05 16:28:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you woke up naked in the park?

2007-12-05 16:23:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ladies: Dated a guy shorter than you?
Guys: Dated a girl taller than you?
How did it work out?

2007-12-05 16:22:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who was more experienced you or them?

2007-12-05 16:21:14 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

this week that made you laugh?

2007-12-05 15:24:07 · 18 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

who and why?

2007-12-05 15:20:45 · 29 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Wherever, in the snow, in an elevator, on a carnival ride, in a pickle bucket, going down the chimney?

2007-12-05 15:11:16 · 26 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Getting homemade food gifts at Christmas? Are there any items you particularly like or dislike getting?

2007-12-05 15:09:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

..no busy work, all is still, no sounds of cars, tv and cds...

2007-12-05 15:00:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

When I was in grade school, a neighbor girl used to come over and play. She told me her name was Renee but I heard, "Grenade" so for the longest time I called her Grenade. I'll never forget (thinking back) to my mom trying to keep from laughing as she asked, "Are you sure her name isn't RENEE?" I said, "No, it's Grenade, she told me."

Sisters boyfriend was named Jade, their friend called him "Jay" for a long time before he finally saw Jade write his name and asked, "Is that your name JADE? I've been calling you Jay."

Got any good stories to share?

2007-12-05 14:58:02 · 9 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

A Blonde attempt to ride a Horse…
A blonde decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior
experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the
saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip, she tries
to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse
anyway.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw
herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy
of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . .
The Woolworth's Manager sees her and switches the horse off.

2007-12-05 14:38:08 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've always thought that the concept of the big guy coming around and distributing gifts is an awful one - don't get me wrong, I'm not a "Scrooge" but I just think that its awful to tell kids this huge lie, and have to go to all sorts of lengths to make sure they don't "find out the truth".
Then there is the unfairness angle - the big guy gives rich kids expensive gifts, and poor kids cheap gifts, or none. What does this teach kids, I wonder ?
I'd be much happier if we told children that we're celebrating Jesus' birth, and that this makes us all feel happy, so we give each other a gift. That way, kids wouldn't expect endless expensive toys since they'd know that their families were the donors.
What do you think ? Do you love the big fellow, or not?

2007-12-05 14:14:21 · 16 answers · asked by Stella 6

Paul Harvey RIDDLE:
When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.

What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?

2007-12-05 14:03:41 · 18 answers · asked by Meeshmai 4

Scottish & English Armies
In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight.

One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a scottish accent came from within the dense fog.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 10 englishmen".

With this, the english general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a hell of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 50 englishman".

With this the english general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 100 englishman".

Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 1,000 englishman".

By this time, the english general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERES TWO OF THE BASTARDS".

2007-12-05 13:38:47 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's the same show that was on recently. If you missed it, hopefully, you'll be able to see it tonight. The show will feature the last of the original Drifters, but sadly, a few weeks after the showed was first aired, he passed away.

2007-12-05 13:20:32 · 8 answers · asked by Shortstuff13 7

I have 2 beloved, petite aunts who are in their 70s. I need a source (online store) for clothes to suit them. They would prefer to wear the same conservative machine washable, 100% polyester styles they have been wearing for the last 25 years or so. (If I bought them a "new" style, it would probably go in the closet never to see the light of day).

In particular, I'm looking for blouses that are a silky polyester (like a suit blouse) but have a stretchy ribbed knit band at the bottom (like a sweat shirt). These blouses had their heyday sometime in the 1980s, but my aunts still love them nevertheless.

Old Pueblo Traders used to carry these as recently as last Christmas, but no more. Can anyone suggest another source? Many thanks.

2007-12-05 12:42:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I can get it when I turn 62 but will be locked in at about 562 dollars but if I wait until I'm 66 it would be 886.00

2007-12-05 12:40:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

And if you care to share the ingredients, please do.

Mine was Capt'n Gladys' Cheesy Tuna Turnovers.

2007-12-05 12:32:01 · 18 answers · asked by Gladys 6

2007-12-05 12:29:31 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous