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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very
reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, is my guest. Maybe
You’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching
herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young
woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a
huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the
creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator
on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this
One isn't wearing any shoes either!"

2007-12-07 01:37:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Men or women.....are you making holiday decorations, cards, gifts? I am totally not crafty in that way (yes, I can be crafty in other ways, 'nuff said). I applaud those who have an artful eye and skilled hands. So, whatcha makin'?

2007-12-07 01:10:57 · 30 answers · asked by Lady G 6

Yes, we all know it's the most important meal of the day. I can't eat until I've been up for a few hours. These days I'm trying to behave myself, so I had some cinnamon and spice oat meal once I got to the office. What about you - eat or skip it?

2007-12-07 01:08:45 · 37 answers · asked by Lady G 6

anywhere in the USA, first class accommodations and all expenses paid for two people for one week. You must take the trip between January 1 and January 31, 2008. Where do you want to go?

2007-12-07 01:06:58 · 30 answers · asked by Lady G 6

in the privacy of your own home, and the lessons were free, what would you like to learn?

2007-12-07 01:03:33 · 39 answers · asked by Lady G 6

I had two jokes removed yesterday but no violations explain that !!!!!!!!

2007-12-07 00:00:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm sorry EveT my answer to your question got deleted because I answered in my Native American language!!! But, I do thank you for the question!

2007-12-06 22:11:52 · 11 answers · asked by ndnquah 6

Mine was when Dorothy Collins pulled (rather, pushed the car) into a filling station and asked them to check the oil. When the attendant lifted the hood, there was no engine.

2007-12-06 21:52:10 · 17 answers · asked by Eyes 5

See men can be blonde too.........!!!!
Blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from
the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his
4-year-old son comes up and says:
"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet
floor.
"You rotten ba@@ard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack
and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

2007-12-06 19:00:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

From 1876-1932 he wrote the most delightful and stirring music. His band, from 1892-1931, is considered the world standard of concert bands, non pareil. In 1976 I had the pleasure of shaking hands with a gentleman who had met Mr. Sousa. Treat of a lifetime!

2007-12-06 17:44:59 · 18 answers · asked by Thomas E 7

The first time I used a computer, we used punch cards!

2007-12-06 17:18:05 · 35 answers · asked by shermynewstart 7

we decided a few years back that instead of buying each other expensive gifts for christmas and birthdays, that we just give a token on the day, and once a year we buy ourselves a "luxury item". it works for us. some of the things we have bought are a really nice fish tank, a big screen tv, a good surround sound system, the computer, this year we are buying a gps for the truck.

2007-12-06 17:14:18 · 4 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.


The iBreast will cost £499 to £599.


This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

2007-12-06 16:32:47 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've been up for almost 48 hours. I'm exhausted, but when I lie in bed, I just stare at the ceiling & think about things I didn't get done today.

2007-12-06 16:20:46 · 58 answers · asked by shermynewstart 7

1) lust
2)gluttony
3)greed
4)sloth
5)wrath
6)envy
7)pride.
not being a religious person i could never figure out why they are called the 7 deadly sins. i guess i would mainly be guilty of sloth, if that means lazy. i have been in lust, often overeat, have been envious, and angry, have wanted more, and whats wrong with being proud? no lectures please, just asking the question.

2007-12-06 15:13:12 · 17 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6

Do you hear your Mother's words coming out of your own mouth?

I still hear the echo's of her beautiful voice and realize it's me!

Example: If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?

2007-12-06 14:46:08 · 23 answers · asked by ♥ G ♥ 6

...any time, day or night...

2007-12-06 14:35:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's important that I find her just to catch up.

2007-12-06 14:31:17 · 5 answers · asked by Steven D 7

You purchased on your own? Do you have fond memories of it?

Mine was a "1963 Volvo 544", that I paid $35.00 a month to the bank for. I purchased it at age 16 working part time after school. I would love to have another one of those.

2007-12-06 14:14:34 · 36 answers · asked by ♥ G ♥ 6

2007-12-06 14:13:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

did you make it there yet

2007-12-06 14:09:46 · 15 answers · asked by gggggg 6

Annelle here. (ahmc1944@yahoo.com.au). Avatar is vintagegal. I've closed messenger for the present. Jumping of Isatopes post. I am having a lot of trouble with my computer. Use MSN "pannieindahouse"
And no V's please.

2007-12-06 13:50:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

My family is spread out throughout the western US and we aren't able to spend Christmas together (I am talking me and my 4 siblings not my children) I got this idea today to help us to "share" in the holiday spirit. I presented it to them today and so far almost all have chosen to participate.(there are 40 of us total) We do not exchange gifts amongst ourself so to draw us together I suggested that each year we choose a charity and donate together as a family. Each person over 18, couple, or family is free to donate any amount they choose-I promised not to blab who contributes what. We are pooling our money and donating it together to a charity I selected. In the future we will select the charity together but it was late this year. I so far have pledges from $2 to $200. Just thought I would pass this on. it is helping us to feel more in the Christmas spirit. How about you? Does your family do anything as a family to enhance the season?

2007-12-06 13:13:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.
The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?". No response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"

"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"

2007-12-06 13:03:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-06 12:41:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Paddy Adair

It was the end of the Gulf war. The Arabs stared over at the Oil Fields and watched them burning. Day and Night the Flames roared into the sky. The Arabs pondered on how they were going to put out the fires when one Arab suggested that they ring 'Red O Dare'. Red O Dare was contacted but informed the Arabs that he was busy for the next six months. Red O Dare told the Arabs that they should ring his cousin Paddy O Dare from Co Mayo in Ireland.

The Arab got on the phone and contacted Paddy. The Arab explained the problem with the Oil Fields to Paddy and asked if he could help. Paddy Replied: "No Problem." The Arab asked him how quick he could get there and how much would it cost?. Paddy Replied: "I can be there in 10 Hours and it'll cost ya' $10,000. "Great"; said the Arab and hung up the phone.

The Arabs waited in the Desert, still watching the flames shooting into the sky, when all of a sudden an open top truck with four Red Haired Paddy's comes roaring over the Sand Dunes and heads straight into the oil field. The Arabs shouted to no avail, and the truck drove straight into one of the burning rigs. They jumped out, took off their Denim Jackets and proceeded to beat the fire out with them. The Arabs watched with amazement and two days later the Oil Rig Fire was Out. The four Paddy's walked to the Arabs and one said...."Jazus..that was rough!".

The Arab, while writing the check for $10,000, said to Paddy; "And what are you going to buy with all this money?. "Paddy Replied: "Well, the first thing I going to buy a set of brakes for that ******* truck!!"

7.

2007-12-06 12:27:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

The woman is probably 70 years old, working part-time at my company; she's very quiet, doesn't talk to anyone much. I think the reason she still wants to work and the company allows her to is because she may go crazy by herself at home. Her only son and daughter both passed away last year because of cancer; they were in their 40s, I believe.

Christmas is here again and I'm sure she's not feeling well inside. I want to get her a present but I have no clue what to buy. I've never had to buy any gift for an elderly woman before since my grandmothers passed before I knew them.

Will someone please give me some ideas? She is caucasian. I'd like to keep it within $50. Thanks!

2007-12-06 12:23:41 · 29 answers · asked by BambiQ 2

you go to the doctor or anywhere and instead of just the person seeking help they have to bring all of the family and take all the space and chairs in the waiting room

2007-12-06 11:54:50 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

you are passionate about?

2007-12-06 11:47:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

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