Senior Citizens

This is thanks to Primalclaws ans to the earlier question. But tell us fellas are you your dad?

2007-12-17 10:49:38 · 12 answers · asked by stormy 4

Two priests were on vacation, being determined to make it a real vacation they bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses etc. (so that they will not b identified clergy).
Well, in the morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in bikini came walking towards them
As she passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father, good morning, Father" addressing them individually and passes by. They were both stunned.
Next day, they bought even more outrageous outfits. Once again both were settled in beach chairs after a while, the same topless blonde, wearing a string came toward them and greeted" good morning Father".
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said "Just a minute young lady."
Yes? she replied
"We are priests but how in the world did you know we are priests dressed as we are?
FATHER, IT'S ME SISTER ANGELA she replied

2007-12-17 09:55:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-17 09:41:17 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

For some reason it is running through my head and I can't get it out?

2007-12-17 09:36:47 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

...a chance meeting, double date, instant "crush"...how did you
both...meet...

2007-12-17 09:33:15 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can someone explain to me the sexual innuendo behind the green ones? My kids refused to ever tell me.

2007-12-17 08:54:02 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

stained glass and fruit carving are amongst my favorites. Oh, and candle making.
Do you still do crafts?
I make nautical jewlery with sail twine(waxed hemp) and sea shells. I plan to make my niece a pair of bottomless shoes, macramed with tiny sea shells.

2007-12-17 08:53:29 · 20 answers · asked by Cheryl 6

With Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore?
My husband says that's me, he says later on in life he will have to introduce me to the "new" neighbors everyday. The neighbors have only been there for over 20 years
Now I'm watching Bruce Almighty, I could sure use some of those "powers"

2007-12-17 08:44:05 · 15 answers · asked by Cheryl 6

I was raised to respect my elders but some make it very hard to do. We deal with a lot of eldery in our office & just shake our heads at the ones that call our office & demand to be seen ASAP just to have their nails & calluses taken care of because they are going to FL the next day. Doesn't matter that they missed their last two appts without calling or anything or that the office is full. Very annoying.

Then there was the lady that kept beeping her horn in the supermarket lot at a lady that was moving 2 carts out of the way so this lady could park. 4 other H-capped available mind you but she had to get into this one. When she got out of her car the lady moving the carts told her she was moving them so she could part there & hoytie toytie said "oh you were not". I was a witness to this & we just laughed at her arrogance.

Some can be so sweet & downright funny while others are unbelievable. Guess that life.

Any elderly experiences you would like to relate?

2007-12-17 08:13:02 · 28 answers · asked by lilith663 6

Died of prostate cancer last night. My favorite all time artist. He was a musical genius. He wrote music and lyrics and played so many instruments. He has songs on some albums where he was a one man band.
Will anyone else miss Dan Fogelberg as much as I will?

2007-12-17 07:47:00 · 24 answers · asked by Teresa 5

Any secret ingredient?
What seasonings?
What ingredients overall?

I guess I am just flat-out asking for your BEST BEEF STEW recipe!!! That would have been simpler, huh? :}

2007-12-17 07:31:30 · 30 answers · asked by ? 6

Are you comfortable with your retirement income or do have a hard time making ends meet? What advice would you give to the youngsters to help them plan a better retirement?

2007-12-17 07:26:26 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Jenny awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.

"What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?"
"Yes, I do remember," she replied.
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."

2007-12-17 06:42:38 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his
quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was
feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and
I've never felt better. I now have a 20 Year-old bride
who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think
about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began. "I have an older friend, much like you,
who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One
day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit
of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane
instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came
across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's
edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so
couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of
habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if
it was his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang,
bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver
fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The
80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody
else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

2007-12-17 06:30:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ms. J.A.Jance, James Doss, John Dunning, Michael Connolly or Bob Morris?
Who do you enjoy reading the most?

2007-12-17 06:05:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or eat them by the handful? How many green ones do you usually get in a small bag? My record is 9. I think the machine broke on that package.

2007-12-17 05:59:01 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-17 05:42:00 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or why they don't show full beards?

2007-12-17 05:22:37 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where would you go and for what reason?

2007-12-17 05:09:56 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

And your nose is running like a faucet, you are bundled up for touring the Artic Circle they always ask how you're feeling?

2007-12-17 05:03:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-17 05:01:21 · 15 answers · asked by gggggg 6

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.

The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."

The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.

Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.

As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.

The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.

The priest hands the lady $1 and says... "Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"

2007-12-17 04:26:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-17 04:25:20 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm looking for social events, activities, social clubs, organizations in Atlanta for active 50+ adults. Not "senior" activities like arts & crafts and Bingo please! No Senior Centers please!

2007-12-17 04:10:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-17 03:14:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have. For the cookbook idea. Does that make me a Y!A Prostitute?

2007-12-17 03:14:22 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've always looked like her, which is fine, my mother has always been very pretty. But,,,,,the mannerisms, I sit like her, I hold my hands the same way, I'll catch sight of myself with her exact exprewssion on my face. Little habits she has that I catch myself having. What's strange is that I was never around her much after I turned about 12 or so. Didn't see her at all during the 30s & 40s.

2007-12-17 02:35:45 · 39 answers · asked by stormy 4

...YOU are PROUD of...

2007-12-17 02:20:22 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Paddy goes to confession and says to the priest, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since my last confession, and in that time I have committed the sin of adultery."

The priest says, "Was it with Brigitte O'Hara?"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I can't tell you who it was with."

So the priest says, "I'll bet it was with Mary O'Houlihan, the hussy!"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I really can't tell you who it was."

The priest says, "Was it that Rose O'Connell?"And Paddy responds, "I've told you already Father, I can't reveal who it was."

So the priest says, "You're a wicked man Paddy O'Reilly. Say six Hail Marys and don't let me hear that you've transgressed again!"

As he is walking home, Paddy bumps into his friend Seamus, who says, "Paddy! How are you doin'? Is it the Church you'll be coming from?"

And Paddy says, "Aye Seamus, I've just been to confession."

"How was it?"

Paddy says, "Oh not too bad, I got six Hail Marys and three good leads!"

2007-12-17 01:59:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... m-m-m.... urges. That’s why we have the camel, sir." The Captain says, "I can’t say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

2007-12-17 01:55:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous