Senior Citizens

If you throw a cat out of a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn where does baby oil come from?
Why do they call it a tv set when you only get one?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Why do people say tuna fish? They don't say beef mammal or chicken bird.
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If a book about failure doesn't sell is it a success?

2007-12-16 06:01:08 · 23 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6

An Englishwoman and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As they were driving through a rather seedy looking part of town, the boy became fascinated by the garishly made up women in short skirts and high heels who seemed to be accosting some of the men passing by.

"Mummy" the boy asked, "what are those ladies doing?"

The mother, clearly embarassed by the question, replied: "I expect they're lost and are asking people for directions"

The taxi driver overhead this and interrupted: "why not tell me boy the truth, those women are prostitutes."

The mother blushed more brightly at this remark but the boy wouldn't let it go:

"What are prostitutes Mummy, are they like other women, do they have children too?"

"Of course" the mother replied, "that's where New York taxi drivers come from."

2007-12-16 05:56:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

The 3 spirits you have contact with are gin, vodka and bourbon.
Christmas Dinner is Reindeer meat, a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
You climb on the roof and shoot carolers in the butt with a BB gun.
Your fireplace has a bear trap in it. You're sitting in the recliner eating milk and cookies...waiting.
The Christmas trees from the corner lot have disappeared. You have a new huge wood pile out back and a nice fire burning in the fireplace.
Your standard response is "And Happy Holidays to you too, you jerk."
Two Words: Tinsel Rash.
You catch yourself humming "All I Want For Christmas is Your 2 Front Teeth."
A child comes to your door collecting for charity. You tell him to get a real job, hand him a smoke and shut the door.
You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but mistletoe.

2007-12-16 05:44:25 · 18 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6

2007-12-16 05:32:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-16 05:31:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mine would probably be the Good Humor Man.

2007-12-16 05:30:13 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Then people in wheelchairs wouldn't need special ramps and such to reach the sink or the top of the stove? Wouldn't it be more practical?

2007-12-16 05:27:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

It doesn't watch anything? It doesn't tell time? And it really isn't a cap at all, more like a stretchy head covering for your ears to stay warm in winter?

2007-12-16 05:25:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I usually make a Virtual Christmas Card.

http://www.geocities.com/danegood/Christmas2007/merry_christmas_from_santa_barba.htm

2007-12-16 05:15:35 · 26 answers · asked by Dan Bueno 4

2007-12-16 05:15:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Taking in pricing, convenience, etc., which do you prefer?

2007-12-16 05:14:14 · 18 answers · asked by Wandering In The Wilderness 4

College daughter has moved back home and we love to watch funny movies together. What are some of the funniest (rentable) movies that you have seen in the last 5-10 years?Not slapstick, not childish, not animated.
Oh yeah I should say we do NOT watch "R" rated movies.
Two of my favorites are "Bandits" and "Unconditional Love" if you haven't seen those they are Hilarious!!

2007-12-16 04:36:31 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

More conservative, more liberal or stayed the same as in your 20's?
Statistics say that women start out conservative and become more liberal, while men start out liberal and become more conservative.

2007-12-16 04:26:53 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-16 04:24:14 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

That made you laugh out loud even though there was no one else around?
I remember reading a book that had a story in it about this 86 year old guy who was arrested chasing a 90 year old naked guy carrying his clothes through Hyde Park in England. The 86 year old was carrying a blunderbuss when arrested. It seems he came home and caught the 90 year old in bed with his 82 year old wife!

2007-12-16 03:32:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-16 03:24:46 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous

I might add this is without Viagra. No doubt some of you will say ONLY 3! Well it's what I would like but partner tends to disagree.

2007-12-16 03:15:35 · 57 answers · asked by knobinobike 2

Any time in this or some other country?

2007-12-16 02:57:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

If so, where are they? I never see any in California. Just those pesky small crows? And once in a while some tiny blackbirds, but no ravens. Why is that?

2007-12-16 02:36:54 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

...mine is diving off from a rock in the middle of WAIMEA BAY,
then, I thought it was a 100' high, today it's still 12'...hmmm.

2007-12-16 02:09:32 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

mine do, 6 out of 7 do shift work and find it easy and quicker to buy fast food, they love it when i invite them to dinner, or cook extra and take it to them

2007-12-15 23:33:31 · 22 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6

Is it forty or fifty or seventy?

Or is it when they're not allowed to work any more?

Or when they can't have sex?

2007-12-15 22:35:50 · 23 answers · asked by 2kool4u 5

what happens in the US if someone loses their job and can not find another one-their savings is running low and there is no foreseeable pension?

2007-12-15 22:17:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

in advance.

2007-12-15 21:55:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

'I forget', or 'Where did I put my keys?', for fear people think you're suffering from dementia?

2007-12-15 20:38:07 · 35 answers · asked by cymry3jones 7

That is what my mother always used to refer to me as...1944

2007-12-15 19:38:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I love this movie..I just finished watching it again.
It's my all time favorite & I must add saddest.
After watching it I feel a little depressed...does it make anyone
else feel like this?

2007-12-15 17:15:44 · 15 answers · asked by Mustbe 6

For me, the strangest aspect of life is that time seems to pass much faster, the older I get. As a child, summers seemed last an eternity.

2007-12-15 17:09:35 · 16 answers · asked by LUCKY 4

Its xmas and baileys is good medicine, don't you tink???......

2007-12-15 16:37:43 · 24 answers · asked by clara M. 2

christmas carols for the insane
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think Ill be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees
and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open
Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, im Gonna Cry, Im
Gonna Pout, Maybe Ill Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the
Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell

2007-12-15 16:23:28 · 17 answers · asked by Penguin_Bob 7