Senior Citizens

and the bird poops on his shoulder. He then drinks a can of Red Bull grows wings and flys over the bird and starts to undo his pants. Has anyone seen that yet? I saw it last night just before Moonlight. Haven't laughed like that in a while. What did you think of it?

2007-10-13 12:32:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

to 15 years of age?

2007-10-13 12:11:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ever have one of those days?
Tell me the related events that made it a disaster.

2007-10-13 12:01:20 · 20 answers · asked by Ju ju 6

What event happnened and what age were you when you started to feel like an adult? I'm in a weird stage in my life that I feel like a child and adult all at once. I'm 24.

2007-10-13 10:29:27 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Maybe I don't get it--but unless one is nasty & mean, why would one get a thumbs down for giving someone an answer. Do trolls do this kind of thing? It's almost like someone is giving you the finger.

2007-10-13 10:03:15 · 22 answers · asked by Nannie 3

Thousands and thousands of autos, trucks, ect. stuck on the freeway for more than seven hours, 15 big rigs envolved the tunnel is an infero. Oh my God this is a mess.

2007-10-13 10:01:01 · 17 answers · asked by snow ball 3

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".

Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.

The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

2007-10-13 09:15:48 · 14 answers · asked by sage seeker 7

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.

When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today she's in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.

She's checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.

Today is my day for funnees! lol

2007-10-13 09:07:27 · 17 answers · asked by sage seeker 7

We're over the hill but don't feel sad
This side of the hill ain't all that bad.
So give us "five" and then a smile
To us who have been here for awhile.

With by-pass pain and mended hip
And plumbing fixtures prone to drip;
We all may seem a sorry lot,
But we rejoice for what we've got.

We have each day and what it brings
And on our pensions live like kings.
For the press that accuses what we take
To coin a phrase, "Let them eat cake."

We've paid our share for unused knowledge
As the kids are now all done with college.
We complain to them about our health
As they worry about our dwindling wealth.

And though our wardrobes may be plain
We'll suffer no more labor or pain.
Now it's with cane we do our strut
And if we can't drive - we still can putt.

We're mean and tough, meet all demands,
Why, M&M's melt in our hands.
Yes, we're still here, and it does delight us
That you join our fight against arthritis.

But we ask you make a pledge today
That you'll be careful what you say.
We have to spread "Over the Hill" fear
Or we'll have those young folks over here.

2007-10-13 08:52:30 · 15 answers · asked by sage seeker 7

Received an email today with a pic of a Septic Tank Truck whose tag said "Poopmpr"...LOL

I've never had a vanity tag - have you? Or have you seen any really funny or unique ones?

Sometimes in traffic I drive myself batty trying to figure out some of them!

2007-10-13 08:27:32 · 9 answers · asked by sage seeker 7

2007-10-13 07:43:26 · 16 answers · asked by katydid 7

Jilly of the Jiggling Jugs has come forward to fill the breach left by the desertion of McTealc from his duties of Security at The Wee Hoose.

He is not to blame - he had a taste of honey on the moors with me and knew that it was a once in a lifetimes experience - when along came the Beautiful Lady Barbara.

The man was still reeling from his close encounter with a sexy Celt and was putty in her hands.

As he was in mine - but I am made of firmer stuff and was able to mould him into the fine upstanding soldier that Lady Barbara took advantage of.

The question stands - should I offer the position to Jiggly knowing her weakness for the lads in kilts? Will it be McTealc all over again - with security this time in a lycra WonderWoman costume stretched tightly over it?

Is there anyone who will care for me chooks - or has the whole world gone lust crazy?

Where o where is my Guiding Light - GOLDWING - what would he do? I am so alone ................................

2007-10-13 07:07:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

When my exe and I split, our "adopted daughter" asked me why I was leaving him. She was 19 at the time. I didnt want to say it was because I was tired of him or marriage or whatever so I told her the truth -

He had an affair and I couldnt accept it.

She has refused to talk to him ever since. I didnt know this would be her reaction to hearing why.

I convinced her once to talk to him and he started bashing me and saying I had no right to tell her and I wanted to make trouble between him and her.

So she stopped talking to him again, what a dumb thing for him to say, really.

He could have said he was sorry he had hurt everyone by his actions and he regretted them - but no he attacked me instead for telling her the truth.

Do you think I was wrong to tell her the truth in the first place? She wasnt a child. And I didnt want her to think I would leave for no good reason. I felt I owed her the truth. Was that wrong of me?

2007-10-13 06:42:26 · 26 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

and they are getting ready to do a benefit dinner for him to help with medical cost, etc. They need help with finding things to auction off there, with all the proceeds going to him also. Can you help me with ideas for getting things to auction off, or other ideas to raise money? So far they haven't had much luck in getting any sponsors to donate items. Has anyone ever done anything like this, and if so, could you please help with ideas?

2007-10-13 04:33:15 · 18 answers · asked by Starscape 6

My son called me last night. We talked for an long time. Ordinarily, he doesn't have much time to talk to me anymore. He called two weeks ago and left a message. I tried to return his call, but after a week I gave up. He told me that he had been in Rome for a week, for training. He is a teacher and has taken to setting up trips to other countries with the kids.

He is pretty busy these days. I revised a verse from the song by Harry Chapin, "Cat's In The Cradle"
I'm still working and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, mom, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, mom.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up unlike me.
My boy was not like me.

2007-10-13 04:30:56 · 13 answers · asked by Granny 6

A friend, a senior citizen, has suffered the failure of her business and now her home is foreclosed upon. The mortgage co. wants 25 grand in a few weeks, or out she goes. She will be homeless. She has no family that can help, and no friends can help her financially. This kind, sweet lady has a small farm, and rescues unwanted animals. She has about thirty dogs and a number of rescued farm animals.She was planning on opening up a rescue unit as a full-time paying business until this happened. She is in good health and very intelligent. She is afraid of being tossed onto the street, and that her animals will be taken away and euthanized. She is desperate.She is terrified of being put into a nursing home. Is there any agency or organization that might be able to help this woman??

2007-10-13 04:03:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

The logic number puzzle that is sweeping the nation.

Really? Logic? I just don't get it! How do you know where to start? After you start, then what?

2007-10-13 03:08:39 · 13 answers · asked by kayboff 7

Seniors-we have all lived through many presidential administrations, some more than others. Each president has left his mark upon society, be it good or bad. With our current administration seemingly eroding our civil liberties with illegal wiretaps and spying on average citizens, do you feel that this current administration is actually watching out for our best interests or do you feel that we are heading in the direction of a gestapo type dictatorship ?

2007-10-13 02:22:46 · 15 answers · asked by Yeti 2

You all know what colour roses the ladies like. Now give them one or a dozen! THIS QUESTION ENDED UP IN SINGLES!!! Omg.

2007-10-13 01:21:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

favourite Robin Hood?
I loved the Robin of Sherwood series, I liked Michael Praed the best.

2007-10-12 23:17:13 · 24 answers · asked by Roxy. 6

ever had Panic Attacks, can you describe it for me please?

2007-10-12 23:12:59 · 21 answers · asked by Roxy. 6

2007-10-12 19:15:19 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am having questions and answers removed again, Ndnquah when are you going to grow up and stop playing these mindless stupid games of yours? Use one of your multiple personalities to access this question and report me, I will email customer care about you again.

Ifa person with multiple personalities were to threaten to commit suicide would it be considered a hostage situation?

2007-10-12 17:53:36 · 19 answers · asked by isotope2007 6

turned into blank boxes? No kidding it just happened. I wonder if they are trying to dress up for halloween lol lol :[

I will leave you with this exciting revelation. Don't let the goblins get ya! Good night and God bless .

2007-10-12 16:17:32 · 7 answers · asked by snow ball 3

THEME - BEIJING OLYMPICS"

I will need to know 'exactly' what you will be wearing, and what events you are compteing in. What you are wearing must be very explicit, as this is a very big event. And I don't want to put you in the wrong event. If you are a swimmer, I don't want you in te high jump.

2007-10-12 16:15:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Give or take one year either side. No more, no less.

2007-10-12 16:05:45 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Here's one of mine

cheese enchilada's

Filling:
1~ 8oz pkg cream cheese
1~2 cup bag of mexican shredded cheese
1~small can sliced black olives
1~small can diced green chilis

Mix together in mixing bowl

then heat corn tortillas in oil using microwave (until they are softened)

wrap softened tortillas around about 3 tbsp. filling and pour red enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. make sure you cover all the enchiladas.

cook about 25 min at 375 degrees


~you can add ta meat or chicken and substitute warm flour tortillas( no oil) for corn tortillas.


OK your turn !

2007-10-12 16:02:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mine are darker yellow roses. I just love them. And red tulips. My late hubbie baught me a beautiful bunch of red tulips the night he died. Strange?

2007-10-12 16:00:45 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

On Thursday night, my youngest daughter just texted this message through to me.

"Mom, I was just sitting here at the office, thinking how much I love you". Is that not special or what?

2007-10-12 15:58:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's Saturday, and we have a big week end in the big house. The boss is on the the way. Get the sherry from the cook. Now! Get the cook to stop pinching the sous chef's bottom. He is getting worried, he is only a young laddie, and she is chasing him around the kitchen while he is holding food. Get your tarton on McTealc, don't know what you were up to last night! Good grief man! And retire to your bedroom until that sporron gets itself in the right place. Barbara you are always so sweet, please collect the heather, at least you won't set it alight. Goldwing, we need a bouncer. Just come as you are, black t-shits and all.
The girls are fluffing their feathers, in anticipation, and for once it is not raining. We need a pianist, any volunteers? And someone to play the bagpipes. Volunteers please, very urgent? How about American Patriot.? I think you would play the bagpipes with a lot of aplomb, but would you wear a kilt?Mc teacl, please see the Whisky is scottish.

2007-10-12 15:18:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous