This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
2007-10-13 09:15:48 · 14 answers · asked by sage seeker 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
OK - I'm through with Saturday funnees!
2007-10-13 09:16:16 · update #1
I wish I could give 10 points for questions. LOL I like that.
2007-10-13 15:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by Tinman12 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I watched my own parents doing the healthy food and vitamins kick for the last twenty years of their lives, just as the couple in your joke do. My Mom died at 84 and my Dad died five years later at 93...it would be nice to know that they are celebrating in their own version of "heaven" now (and for a lot of people, it must be different--because what we consider perfection is so different). I can just see my father throwing a fit such as this, and it made me laugh out loud...THANK YOU!
2007-10-14 00:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cross-country road trip!
2016-05-22 06:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by latrice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aye Seeker, eat brownies! Cute one and I hate bran muffins.
2007-10-13 17:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by lilabner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great! I prefer cranberry-orange muffins myself, so we'll see what happens!
2007-10-13 15:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by felines 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should publish all these little ditties, so we can share them with our friends that don't have computers. keep em rolling!
2007-10-13 17:42:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you aren't "damned " if you do after all --- yuk :0)
2007-10-13 12:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good, love it.
2007-10-13 10:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by Gem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOW you tell me! LOL! Great One!
2007-10-13 14:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVED IT THANK YOU FOR PUTTING A SMILE ON MY FACE....WHAT A WONDERFUL GOD WE SERVE....I CANT WAIT TO GO TO HEAVEN .....I LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIST....
2007-10-13 16:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by deezee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋