So, I dated Ben for 2 years, fell in love, which wasn’t hard considering I was getting over a horrible guy. This guy seemed perfect. A year in and we were still together, never fought, never seems to bicker about anything. A year and a half in.. I realized we hadn’t talked about a future together.. or a future at all. We are both old enough to begin to at least think about this, and yet.. we hadn’t. Around 2 years, Ben breaks it to me that he doesn’t know if this is it, he doesn’t know if this is “true love.” Ben had never been in a relationship before me, other than a few dates here and there, and I, well lets just say I’ve had my share of emotional connections. Ben was my 2-3 long term boyfriend and I felt with him what I felt with no other(and still, but we’ll get to that in a minute). I remember with Ben I never thought anything about another person, I never felt the need to think about another person, I was just.. as I like to put it: where I wanted to be. So the break-up happened and I made myself take a second look around. Maybe what I’d felt wasn’t love, maybe it was just what I could get at the time, maybe I could find more than “where I wanted to be.”
James and Ben were roommates for about a year. James was one of the sweetest guys I’d ever met(still to this day is). We’d always been friendly, yet I saw him in a different light, maybe it was a feeling, or maybe it was anger running though my veins to my ex. I felt as though it was a strong suggestion to at least try. James and I began dating soon after, he even asked his roommate(my ex) if this was okay. My roommate replied “I’ve seen how you to get along, it’s obvious it could be a good thing.. sure.” We’ve been dating for 3 months, and it has been a rocky time between our friends and my ex. James and I seem to not hang around them as much anymore, in fear that we might disturb peace between the “group.”
1-2 months into the relationship with James.. my ex discovers what happened was not what he wants now. He questions his decision to break up with me and starts a quick plan to win me back, I push away and take this as a “you’re an ex for a reason” type deal. I stop talking to him and tell myself this new relationship is everything I’ve wanted from Ben, only with someone else. Well, now, 3 months in.. I miss Ben. I think about him, and I pray he doesn’t move on.. because I feel like I haven’t fully recovered, nor that I may not. I love my new boyfriend, I feel things for him I can describe, but I love Ben, I feel things for him I CAN’T describe. Maybe it was my quick rebound relationship, or maybe… just maybe there was a reason for all this and the reason was to make it work with Ben. …I don’t know what my question is, I just need advice
2007-03-16
03:25:04
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2 answers
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asked by
Missy B.
2
in
Singles & Dating