All categories - 15 March 2007

RATED PG

Once upon a time,in a far-away land,a Sultan was having tragic thoughts.
He was once a great animal trainer who could make any animal obey him..Untill the day a friend gave him a white elephant.Now,no matter how hard he tried, the big beast wouldn't sit down. He tried everything he knew, to no avail. Finally, he sent for all the greatest men to make the elephant sit. Whoever would succeed would be his heir, and the husband of his daughter.
A Strongman came...He wrestled the beast... He was thrown to the ground!!!
A Prince came...He smoked a big cigar to make the elephant dizzy,,,He went home with lung cancer.
Then, a farmer came! He stepped up to the beast and whispered something...suddenly, the elephant sat down with a mighty THUD!!!
Surprised, the sultan asked him what he told the elephant...
The farmer replied, "Well, sire, I simply told him that if he didn't sit down, I'd kick him in the nuts!!!"




To those that hate jokes, tell me why you read this.

2007-03-15 00:36:21 · 14 answers · asked by Gamer_Nikko™ 4 in Jokes & Riddles

Have purchased a U.S.B cable and data suite c.d rom for my samsung D500 mobile to connect to my p.c to upload pics and download music! When i put the C.D in the drive my A.V.G. antivirus blocks it running and tells me it has a Logger.Ransom.a virus which can detect keystrokes and send details of private accounts! Do i need to ignore this and install anyway or throw it in the dustbin! Any help would be welcome thanks !

2007-03-15 00:36:18 · 4 answers · asked by pcstupid 3 in Software

The "confession" smells like torture and agreement to anything to keep that last toenail or fingernail, right? Nothing like some good news to move the focus off of Attorney General Gonzales the moron serving behind Bush's war on the world. How small and petty evil the USA has become when challenged.
Heads will roll.

2007-03-15 00:36:03 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics

The location, movement, time, every measurmeent of every thing and every event, is relative. All will vary based upon the observer, or vantage point. Therefore, calculated speed, inertia, energy, is not a property of a thing itself, but of its relationships to any and all of an infinite number of vantage points, which are themselves relative. This being the case, uncertainty, perceived time, non-local interactions, and the enigmas such subjects seem to create, are all caused by or reinforced by the false idea that we measure "reality", rather than the infinately small aspect involved in any specific view or measurement. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Where am I wrong? Thanks

2007-03-15 00:35:56 · 3 answers · asked by dave_w_03303 2 in Physics

i find that within the gay community the people are allot more sexally orientated!!!!
why is this?

2007-03-15 00:35:54 · 8 answers · asked by (,'')Sweet guy 3 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

okay my bf and i when we both did it we both were virgins is there some how i could get STD herpies AIDS? from him if we were both virgins? and another questions how many times can u reuse a pregnancy test?

2007-03-15 00:35:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in STDs

2007-03-15 00:35:50 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Cultures & Groups

It's this sunday.

2007-03-15 00:35:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

3 years? or 5 years? does it have to be in a row? can i travel outside the country atleast once a year?or does it have to be 3 years in a freaking row?

2007-03-15 00:35:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Immigration

2007-03-15 00:35:38 · 6 answers · asked by Raphael R 1 in Dogs

Is there a difference between when your boyfriend says "i love you" and when he says "i'm in love with you"?
If there is a ddifference what does each mean?

2007-03-15 00:35:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Did they announce who the guest performer is going to be next week for the top 11? If so, who is it?

2007-03-15 00:35:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2007-03-15 00:35:24 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in History

they say when training for boxing it best to aviod sex or it will affect ur training or give u weak legs but tyson done it more in 1 week than people do it in a life time and how the hell did he become youngest ever champion and knock people out with just 1 punch
but i do remember mike tyson saying that he has too much energy, is anything to do with that?

2007-03-15 00:35:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Boxing

2007-03-15 00:35:10 · 6 answers · asked by Shironeko 1 in Hair

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. I am hungry = I am hungry
5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
6. I am thirsty = I need a beer
7. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
8. I love you = Let's have sex now
9. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question?
11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

2007-03-15 00:34:52 · 30 answers · asked by *BURNY* 5 in Jokes & Riddles

i want a vibrant color for my walls but somthing that will go well with my bed.......thanks

2007-03-15 00:34:46 · 6 answers · asked by sam 2 in Decorating & Remodeling

Stephen Hawking stated about "wormholes" and probability of reaching onether universe.What he means actually?

2007-03-15 00:34:43 · 21 answers · asked by babu 1 in Astronomy & Space

what happened at the very end I got up to the part when they found the third body.

2007-03-15 00:34:26 · 5 answers · asked by purplepurp21 1 in Television

2007-03-15 00:34:25 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Cultures & Groups

We are in a population crisis and there is very little left in state pension funds. Are illicit drugs a form of population control due to earlier death and problems with fertility? Post sept 11 the british government bought the opium fields from afghan farmers to cease supply and yet street heroin has doubled since.....and what about the obesity crisis too? Our children are eating more saturated fats than ever reducing life expectancy to 53 years thus reducing the pensions crisis if someone dies before retirement after almost 40 years of productive working. I wonder.....and before you all start i'm not crazy I just have an active imagination.

2007-03-15 00:34:14 · 17 answers · asked by neil c 3 in Other - Politics & Government

I need to get annual reports of a company registered in US with name ending in "inc" online I dont mind paying a small sum for the same

2007-03-15 00:34:12 · 5 answers · asked by superman 2 in Corporations

IN UPS SYSTEMS OR CNC SYSTEMS(CNC M/C'S) NEEDS PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE TO PCB'S(ELECTRONIC CARDS) i.e. clean the cards and keep dust proof why cards should be dust free?

2007-03-15 00:34:11 · 5 answers · asked by gopalsingh 1 in Engineering

Is it Hygeinic?

2007-03-15 00:34:03 · 26 answers · asked by gana 1 in Men's Health

2007-03-15 00:34:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Words & Wordplay

I am looking for ceiling decorations with a 21 on for my birthday party in June, roughly about 7ft long in a kind of foil material. Any one know where i can find one/some.

All answers greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance xxx

2007-03-15 00:33:47 · 4 answers · asked by ♥ Jodi ♥ Kaydi's Mummy ♥ 4 in Other - Entertainment

what do you prefer long hair or short hair? I have pretty long hair(just cross the waist,,) and m thinking of cutting them short..not that they are split or something but just like that...whatsay should i go for it?? bt i won't want to regret it later..very confused.

2007-03-15 00:33:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

the new one never shuts off, when i checked, the pipe coming from the pump was hot, so i shut it off. should i return the pump for another one, or is there something i should do. there's very little water. after it being off all night, when turned back on, it's on for maybe 6 or 7 seconds, then off,then 1 minute, back on, and so forth.

2007-03-15 00:33:32 · 5 answers · asked by it's just me 2 in Maintenance & Repairs

2007-03-15 00:33:31 · 7 answers · asked by khulit_m0h 1 in Other - Computers

childhood her father uncle and and mother sexually abused her and she has been pregnant twice by the men and its all affected her alot anyway i told her i loved her on her answerphone and Jesus loved her. She told me only 3 people from the church contacted one has left and none bover to chat, how can they be like that they are always to busy to talk thats not right

2007-03-15 00:33:30 · 12 answers · asked by denny 2 in Friends