childhood her father uncle and and mother sexually abused her and she has been pregnant twice by the men and its all affected her alot anyway i told her i loved her on her answerphone and Jesus loved her. She told me only 3 people from the church contacted one has left and none bover to chat, how can they be like that they are always to busy to talk thats not right
2007-03-15 00:33:30 · 12 answers · asked by denny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
firstly, jesus loves her??? if he ever existed, he's dead... the dead don't care!!!
secondly, lot of good being religious and "god" letting a child get that messed up...
thirdly, just be her friend and show her people can be trusted and nice...
2007-03-15 00:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like a very confusing and horrible situation for her. The last part of your question, I cannot make sense of. But for your friend; people don't know how to deal with things like this. They are afraid to approach her with the fear that they don't know weather or not she can talk about it, or even worse, that they may support her family more.
It is unfortunate that in this day and time, elders (no matter what the situation) have more credibility than our youth of today.
Her best course of action is to get angry at those who have hurt her so horribly and work to get some sort of legal satisfaction. This by no means will take away her pain, but it will be a start.
When somone is abused like this, you have to assume that it is just as much mental as it is physical. Your friend dosen't think like the others around her. She probably feels dirty, and used up. She probably feels worthless. These things, can take a very long time to get rid of. She needs to know that she matters. And unfortunately, her friends are the only ones that can show her that.
If, what you say is true (and I have no reason to think otherwise), I am proud that your friend had enough strength to tell someone about what has happened in her life. There are so many others out there who keep their secrets, for fear of what other family members may do or say.
She should try to make the family members who stole away her life pay for their crimes. It is wrong what they did to her. And there are advocates out there who would help and support her in her time of need.
As her friend, you should show her that you need her, and value her friendship and her thoughts. Go to her with your own problems, wheather you need to or not. Make her feel important to you. Then tell her how much you appreciated her help. This will show her that she has worth in her life. But above all else, be there for her when she needs you.
2007-03-15 07:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the information you have relayed is widely known to others, it may make them feel uncomfortable.
Somtimes, even though a person is the victim, the circumstances of how they were abused is difficult for other people to deal with and rather than take charge of their own feelings and put her need to be cared for ahead of their own, they simply shun her.
WHile I know that is not Christ-like conduct, it is an unfortunate tendency of human nature. it is almost as if they psychologically believe the misfortune suffered by another will "rub off on them".
Keep being her friend and try to help her find a support group that can offer her the emotional strength she needs right now. There are many fine organizations out there which can help.
As for her church, make a few calls yourself expressing your concerns about her needs and see if you can help break the ice.
Good Luck!
2007-03-15 07:41:07 · answer #3 · answered by stonechic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact the pastor of the church and say that this girl needs some serious support and she doesn't seem to be receiving the help that was promised(?) her.
If this church doesn't help, then ring around some local reputable churches until you find one that will truly represent Christ on earth and help give her the counselling and support she needs. She also needs professional help, sorry but Christians are human, and thus fail, so some qualified help would do the world of good. Legal help would also be good - if she was abused then the perpetrators need to be prosecuted so they can not do this to anyone else.
Just being lovey-dover "Jesus loves you" doesn't solve the problem. It is rare that Christ heals emotional problems miraculously like he can and does physical problems, because the soul is involved. That takes GOOD help.
Good luck
2007-03-15 07:47:16 · answer #4 · answered by pope_penka_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, if this girl has went though this then she might have mental problems and needs to go see a doctor not a member of church.
She needs some proper help, and I doubt that from my time chattign with church members that they turn down any plea's for help.
2007-03-15 07:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by chris s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's life! Only she can help herself and on one else. Ask her if she's prepared to move out. If yes, report the sexual abuses to the authority and have all the devils arrested. However, if she's not able to move out due to financial difficulties, I suggest you also report the devils to the authority and have her moved to a girls' home or something. She needs to be protected.
2007-03-15 07:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are they aware of her situation & how seriously she needs someone to talk to? Even christians are caught up in the routine of kids, school, work, sports for the kids.... But I'm sure if they knew how bad she needed someone they would make time for her. If not, then she needs to find another church.
2007-03-15 07:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may be embarrassed, as they don't know what advice to give your friend and may not be just "too busy" to help out -after all, this is a very delicate subject.
2007-03-15 07:48:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to go to the police and say everything.
Those man need to go and spend all their life in prison, and have other people do this to them all the time.
Tell her that we all in the Y.A. sends our love, and we hope that she can continue her life, and try to find real love and respect.
We send her a big hag...
xxx xxx
2007-03-15 07:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by iona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this girl needs professional help before she goes over the edge completely...ask her if she will allow you to contact someone who can help...your her friend so i think she will trust you enough...just keep your eye on her honey...she needs you...if she has not reported these people then i think it's time she did...because they could be doing this to someone else....
2007-03-15 14:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋