I need some real help! My husband and I just had our second son a couple weeks ago, and I have noticed some serious changes in him ever since. He has never been what you might call...sensitive, or helpful, but he loves me very much. We are both young (23) and despite using VERY good birth control, now have two beautiful kids. Our first son is 16 months, and our second is 2 weeks old. My husband has always been an avid video game player, and can be rather childish and immature sometimes. We have always butted heads on issues like diapers, going to the grocery store, taking out the trash, and keeping the house clean. Basically I have to accomplish all these chores, or beg (literally) him to help with them for a couple days. Case in point, I am still recovering from the emergency c-section birth of our newest son, and there are six bags of garbage sitting out on the balcony, waiting to be taken out. I don't ask more than once, maybe twice a day because I don't want to be a nag.
So the main reason for this post...He is having a hard time dealing with our children. He has been losing his temper with our toddler quite frequently. He won't feed or change the new baby, even on nights when he has the next day off (which is the only time I ask him to do it)he won't feed the new baby a single bottle so that I can get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep. On his day off he sits around the house playing video games, and insists that I play too, if we get interrupted in the middle of an 'important' part by one of the kids he gets angry and starts pouting like a child himself. He won't help with the dishes or anything else on his day off, he doesn't even pick up his own dishes. Even the days that I am having a really hard time, he won't help me when he gets home from work. He won't feed our toddler dinner, or get him ready for bed. He just comes home from work and launches himself right into an all evening session of World of Warcraft (which I play with him after the kids are in bed or napping just so that we do SOMETHING together). But when I decide to go to bed he gets upset because I can't stay up later.
I have tried to talk to him about this, his usual response is, "I hate this." "I hate having kids." "I hate babies.". Don't get me wrong, he can be a great father, for about three minutes at a time, after that he gets bored and loses interest in his kids. I love my husband, and I realize that having two unplanned kids in two years is stressful...but I'm the one that had to have them, take care of them everyday, and still take care of the house. I don't know what to do to make him happy. I honestly don't think that I can take on any more of the responsibility, It's already like I'm a single parent. Has anyone else dealt with this before, or any men that can give me advice on how to save my marriage, I love my husband dearly, but I fear we are headed for divorce if things don't change.
2007-03-04
02:42:11
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18 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Marriage & Divorce