help whats better for my child???

Question

my daughters almost 4 her father and i were never married or never lived together his name is not on the bithcertificate and she has my last name. but now the state (i only have it for medical) is going after him for child support and he told them he was the father but he wants a DNA test. he said if he has to pay child support then he said he wants her to have his last name and visitation. can the court make me change her last name? also i want him to have supervised visitation her fother and i have a no contact order right now for him harassing me he also, i do not know who goes in and out of his house they smoke weed there i know for a fact. not to mention he gets mad wont let us leave and holds us (hastage) takes my keys. phone, money ect he has also broking my phone so i could not call the cops this can last for hours we r screeming to let us leave (my babys crying) would it be better just to drop the child support so he will have to take me to court (he wont pay to do that)

i know he will not take me to court. but i feel why he should have to pay for his child. but at the same point i dont want him to have visitation my mom says is the money worth it. no but extra money would help but its not worth the stress of him having visitation rights. i just want to know what you would do if u were in my shoes.

Answer 1

Get the DNA so you have proof its his. I dont know if the state will make you or not I doubt it. They will let him have her without supervision most likely unless you can PROVE she will be in danger. I would also try to get the court to make him carry health and life insurance on her. If he wants to make demands so can you. Ask them to drug test him,

My ex has nothing to do with the kids and only time he shows up is to screw with me, ( not sexually). My ex is strung out on meth. So i do understand your fear. I carry the insurance on my kids, He doesn't want to see them, and I dont fight him for support so i dont have to deal with letting them go with him.

EDIT: You are responsible for 50 % of her support. Get a second job or work more hours at the one you have. I raise 2 kids and one on the way, with no state help, and no child support and my kids are well taken care of and get most of what they want. Yes i give up some things I might want but thats what being a mom means.

If the state is helpping you then you have to chose, their help or whats best for your daughter. The state has a right to go after him, after all its costing them money. If you dont get the state help they have NOTHING in it and cant push you to go after him.
Just remember he is not responsible for more then 50%. Alot of judges give less then 50% because of how little he makes.

Some men work a crappy job, for support to be based and a good one "under the table" to make HIS money that the state has no way of taking.

Answer 2

No money is worth it, but since the state pays money to support your child, they have a legal interest in getting him to pay.

Visitation and child support are totally separate legal issues. This loser can say he wants whatever he wants, but he can't enforce that.
ALlow no visitation at all, and fight him legally to make sure there is nothing less than supervised visitation. Since you have a no contact order already, he doesn't stand a chance and probably lacks the motivation to follow through.

If you can tell the state not to go after him for child support, and you want to, tell them that. Otherwise, keep your legal ducks in a row, keeping him away, establishing facts, times, dates about his bad behavior, and fighting any attempt by him to see her.

Answer 3

ok well first things first ... is his name on the birth certificate?? This is a legal document and if he signed the BC as the father and DID NOT contest the name sake at that time he relinquished his rite to contest it at any further time. #2 if he openly admits to the state IN WRITING or on a federal document that in fact he is the childs father then a DNA test can not be demanded due to his admittence. You must make it very clear and bring it to the case workers / courts attention of his drug usage so he tests and fails and visitation will be supervised.

Answer 4

It's not right that he gets away with no child support, but I would think of my child first. It sounds like he is not a person that should have any contact with her at all, supervised, or not.
As for name change, I don't think he can do that at all, and should not do it.
I you decide to though, make sure you bring up the illegal substances and any arrest record as reasons for no visitation.

Answer 5

holy freak!!!! i would find a way to escape from the house first......but i would fight back!!!i maybe only 13 but seriously i would get a leash, or something to protect u and the baby when those time come. kick, and scream as loud as u can, go histerical if u have to. this might catch the attention of niehbors or somethin and thats a good thing .....keep in mind of finding and ecape plan if u have the chance.....remmber dont hesistate ur only defendg u and the baby!!!

Answer 6

He sounds dangerous. I don't think you need him. You can get over with your child. A little money will help, why not, but like your mother said , Is it worth? Drop him and go on with your life.

Answer 7

I think that you shouldn't involve the father in your lives at all. He sounds abusive. You really don't need him to pay for child support. You want for your child to be happy right? Well, she can't be with him around.

Answer 8

In order for him to have visitation rights he has to go to court.So don't worry.You said he won't take u to court. Plus the state will take money out of his check if he doesn't do it voluntary.My son has my last name too.Plus the state took money out of my bf's check. So don't worry.Just call his bluff.