I've heard all of it; I've thought all of it. That it's horrible/selfish/bad for me/self-defeating. That I'm going to die if I don't stop. That I'm hurting the people around me (which is funny because they don't know I'm doing it when I do it).
But I just don't know if I'm able to stop right now. It's not that I'm incapable or controlled by some force and I'm helpless to resist. It's just that deep down I don't want to...and I haven't figured how else to get the same relief. How is anyone, even a psychologist, going to make me want to stop when I clearly never wanted to for myself?
My motivations in past months for trying to quit: what other people think. If other people see scars, if I can wear short sleeves in summer, if I make my dad happy.
And this is all horribly ironic, because I think I started cutting because I was trying so hard to please everybody and just couldn't take the pressure...and now I'm supposed to stop just to please everyone.
2007-02-17
05:32:06
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27 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Mental Health