met a guy in May and when I did I told him that I had been an exotic dancer (years ago) upfront. He didn't seem to have a big problem with it. A little time went by and he started asking a ton of questions, poking and prodding. After a while of this I also disclosed to him that I had made a few adult movies. He looked them up and watched them (which I find disturbing on it's own-It's one thing to know about it another to view it) That didn't go over well with him.
We had time to go back and forth on the issue and while it bothered him, he did not ever mention leaving me. It seemed par for the course that he would have questions and need some answers but it always just turned into him running me down. I have never in my life been emotionally or psychologically attacked like that.
My father committed suicide in July and in this time he continued to watch the movies. He continued to browbeat be and bait and game me after I told him I think everything had been said on the issue. He was very insensitive to what I might have been going through.
In spite of all this, we married and I am expecting a child.
The problem is he still does it. Not as frequently but it still happens. He's gotten pretty creative on the topics though because he knows that one topic is a red flag for me.
He has criticized EVERYTHING I have ever done and yet he seems totally beyond reproach when it comes to anything. It's like I have no right whatsoever to be upset at anything, when I do get upset of course, I am acting crazy and there's something "wrong" with me.
I helped him move his stuff to my places months ago. He pulled out pictures of ex-girlfriends and wives and then packed them and brought them here anyways. When I asked him last week to get rid of them, they just sat there until last night when I blew a gasket about it. I don't think I'm overreacting, I think he's just selfish and self centered.
At this point the problem is ME--I don't care what he does or doesn't do or say anymore. I find I don't put much stock in what he has to offer. I just want to know how do I take care of myself to avoid getting any more hurt or angry.
What would you do? How would you solve this problem? I really can't go on being angry for what he has done forever and I can't walk around on pins and needles either.
Thanks for all advice.
2006-12-20
01:20:16
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18 answers
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asked by
lostsadheart
1
in
Marriage & Divorce