All categories - 20 November 2006

A Kindergarten teacher was giving a lesson to her pupils, and she asked them, "Ok, if three birds are sitting on a fence, and I shoot one, how many are left?"

One of the boys raised his hand and the teacher called on him, "None," he answered. "No, I'm sorry, the answer is TWO," the teacher replied. "But," returned the boy, "if you shot at one bird, wouldn't the other two fly away?" "Well, that's still not the right answer," began the teacher, "but I like the way you think!"

"Ok, now I have a question for you," started the boy. "If three women are standing on a sidewalk eating ice cream and one is just nibbling at it, one is really licking it, and the other is shoving it deep down into her throat... how can you tell which one is married?"

"Now, I really don't like this question," lectured the teacher, "but I would have to say it is the third one." The boy glanced casually at his teacher, "Nope, it is the one wearing the ring... But," he added, "I like the way you think."

2006-11-20 20:19:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

You better hurry, I have some big lungs.......LOL

2006-11-20 20:19:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

An assingment about Michaelangelo for art.
an science report about a pondweed experiment for science
a french project on one of it's regions,
a week to learn all the choir songs (CHRISTMAS CAROLS) off by heart
Practicing for the state 400m running competition
End of year maths and science tests coming up
english grammar test,
junior college spoprt captain form to fill out (About a big presentation night)
and only one week to do it all.............!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!

2006-11-20 20:19:31 · 7 answers · asked by Sapphire_2sweet2b4gotten 1 in Primary & Secondary Education

2006-11-20 20:19:24 · 6 answers · asked by neicia 1 in History

for the sake of this il give the people involved differnt names...
Jonah (the girl)
Stephen
Bob
me
ive known Jonah for 10 years, She is like my best :girl" friend and

Bob and Jonah were going out..... I was the one who got them together because Jonah was crying about Bob and Bob being one of my good friends told me he really liked jonah.. and i told her that when she was crying on my shoulder. They got together..

while they were together she fell for one of my other best mates Steve... Her And Steve were like closer then her and Bob for about 3 months... She broke up with bob and now she is "unofficially" going out with Steve.. All steves friends are pissed off at him except for me....
now she has told me she still might have feelings for bob.... steve has lost nearly all his friends coz of her.....
now to add my predicament.. i love her... so much that ive seen her with so many guyz... but she will never look at me that way... she tells me everything and i dont know what to do.

2006-11-20 20:19:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

i think it was sung by wings in the 70s, help

2006-11-20 20:19:09 · 24 answers · asked by sheryl 1 in Music

i have a 1.6 mk5 astra estate x reg it is an automatic

2006-11-20 20:19:01 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Maintenance & Repairs

2006-11-20 20:19:01 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Software

I mean really...all of their celebrations were stolen from the Pagans they tried to proselytize.

2006-11-20 20:18:51 · 17 answers · asked by Axe 4 in Religion & Spirituality

why do u think people get away with things that are not there falt.

2006-11-20 20:18:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Society & Culture

they say that when you meet "the one" you can tell it. i just wonder if this is true. I met someone and within days we felt like we had been in love for years and a few weeks later we even feel marriage in our bones. am a 27 year old woman and have been infatuated before so i can tell this is different. could it be real or just a dream?

2006-11-20 20:18:40 · 13 answers · asked by cherie 1 in Singles & Dating

i currently work full time (not in the marine biology line of work!!!) so would need to do long distance learning.

2006-11-20 20:18:32 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Careers & Employment

I have pretty long hair.When it's straight it's halfway down my back or a little longer but it grows SUPER slow...Is there any way to speed this up?

2006-11-20 20:18:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Hair

little bit faster than our feet. I dont get it.

2006-11-20 20:18:14 · 2 answers · asked by sunline 3 in Physics

measure a man by the size of his genitalia and his wallet? Do they think hypocrisy is an admirable virtue?

2006-11-20 20:18:10 · 8 answers · asked by AngryAmerican82 3 in Gender Studies

2006-11-20 20:18:09 · 7 answers · asked by nischal 3 in Monitors

For n = 1, 2, 3, 4, etc, a mathematical formula F(n) generates 1, 1, 1, 120,...etc. What's F(5)?

2006-11-20 20:18:08 · 2 answers · asked by Scythian1950 7 in Mathematics

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark.

"Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints. Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that there was no Ark.

"Noah," shouted the Lord, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans."

"Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. "

"Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission."

"Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince the U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I need the wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So, no owls."

"The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have sixteen carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls."

"Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

"Then the Army Corp of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country."

"I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five years," The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled.

"You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."

2006-11-20 20:18:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I love him so much but I didn't feel appreciated enough as we would get together only when he wanted to or when he wants to have sex or when am taking him out. He told me he loved me just before I split with him and that makes me wonder whether I did the right thing coz he's gone quiet on me. I miss him and I don't know how to tell him without sounding desperate and confused

2006-11-20 20:18:01 · 10 answers · asked by Sly cat 1 in Singles & Dating

I just want to make a survey on the members .

2006-11-20 20:17:33 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

not games like solitare or flash games ,i would like to know from where u can download full version new games.

2006-11-20 20:17:30 · 6 answers · asked by Allan 1 in Video & Online Games

I am being stalked by "flamers" on the australian yahoo message boards by people using false ID's.
I was wondering if there is any way I can track their IP address, I do believe I know who the offender is, I just need some proof before I take it to police

2006-11-20 20:17:20 · 1 answers · asked by He moonwalked on my <3 4 in Other - Computers

Just look at it ... plz let me why!?

2006-11-20 20:17:14 · 4 answers · asked by ~ ANGEL ~ 5 in Books & Authors

work or friends

2006-11-20 20:17:01 · 12 answers · asked by picassoo 1 in Friends

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "What??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that girl knows I'm smarter than her.

2006-11-20 20:16:59 · 11 answers · asked by nawty_boy_uk 1 in Jokes & Riddles

I got her in bed, got naked both of us, but she is not doing nothing to try to turn me on. At first I got skared that it is a problem whit me but whit oather girl I function fine. I tried another time whit the first girl and stil nothing. London bridge is still down. What to do?

2006-11-20 20:16:52 · 3 answers · asked by D_Scorpion 1 in Mental Health

2006-11-20 20:16:25 · 4 answers · asked by kyandindiana 1 in Careers & Employment

so me and my gf were having sex and it was day 6 after her period and after i had an orgasm i then pulled out and thats when we realised that the condom had completely ripped and had been pushed all the way back after realising this she went to the washroom to wash herself out a bit as a safety measure and we discussed everything im just looking for some advice on the odds that she will become pregnant so thanks in advance for your answers

2006-11-20 20:16:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy

Will it bring about Martial Law and if so, you know the Constitutional Rights of each US citizens will be suspened, "probably indefinent".
Will American citizens stand together, united? Even if they are the law enforcement personal, charged with violating peoples rights?

They probably will try and take our guns. Our ability to resist a tyrannical government.

2006-11-20 20:16:02 · 11 answers · asked by Jimmy1575 2 in Law & Ethics

When you begin planning a wedding, what do people normally start planning first?

A: The Gowns and Tuxedos?
B: The place where the ceremony and reception will be held?
C: The invites and bachelor/bachelorette parties?
D: The destination of the honeymoon?
E: The wedding party?
F: Gift registry and food?
G: Decorations?

2006-11-20 20:15:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings