Heard this one before? (long one)?

Question

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "What??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that girl knows I'm smarter than her.

Answer 1

Hey that's funny but in the real world i think the men are too scared to do that. The woman always wins cause the men back down. =D

Answer 2

you're listening to diverse circumstances because of the fact it relies upon on: a million) once you scientific expert grants an appointment 2) if the verify via ability of ultrasound or doppler (ultrasounds permit you spot and hear it till now yet no longer all medical doctors try this) 3) how stable the toddler's heartbeat is on the time of your appointment 4) If the toddler cooperates (from time to time they flow swimming around and that's annoying to %. up whilst they're so small. I heard my first son's via ability of doppler at 12 weeks. I heard my present day being pregnant via ability of ultrasound at 8 weeks. and don't hear to the full predicting the gender in line with heart cost. this is an previous better halves tale and any scientific expert permit you recognize it would not make a distinction. the two my coys have been in the extreme a hundred and sixty's and occasional a hundred and seventy's. it rather is in basic terms a "for exciting" style of element.

Answer 3

that was funny. but if that happened to any of the women i know the bloke would never be able to have sex again never mind just that nite

Answer 4

You don`t love eachother if love is based on sex and money

Answer 5

Witty.

Answer 6

absolutely love it
well said

Answer 7

You should both stick to window shopping !

Answer 8

I din't heard this joke before but its a good one . I really liked it .Its a good joke..

Answer 9

Love it.

Answer 10

Brilliant guy.