Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the
words
Back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are
the testimonials of
a
Few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
and a ********?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went
back. My husband didn't
say a word... He knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help
me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with men's balls."
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to
laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my
Sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able
to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I
Told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't
let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's
pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up
the last of my
dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I
heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
laughter.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
training and I was
on him
constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I
checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him
if he needed to go.
He said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child
has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he
replied. I just KNEW
that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have
an accident?" This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and spread his
cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly
pulled up his pants
and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the
best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for
2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict
snow but don't get
any....a true story... We had a female news anchor
who, the day after it
was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to
the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised
me last night?" Not
Only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
did too they were
laughing so hard!
2006-09-16
21:18:10
·
9 answers
·
asked by
Sangy .
4
in
Jokes & Riddles