All categories - 9 September 2006

a ventriloquist walked into a Kansas town and saw a farmer with his dog.

ventriloquist='hey, cool dog. mind if I speak to him?'

farmer='dogs don’t talk!'

ventriloquist='is this your owner?'(pointing at the farmer)

dog='yep'

ventriloquist='does he treat you well?'
dog='yeah, great. he walks me every day, feeds me great food, couldn’t be better.'

farmer=(look of disbelief)

ventriloquist='mind if I talk to your horse?'

farmer='horses don’t talk!'

ventriloquist='hey horse, how’s it going?'

horse='not bad, not bad.'

farmer=(look of disbelief)

ventriloquist='is this your owner?'(pointing at farmer)

horse='yep'

ventriloquist='how’s he treat you?'

horse='really well. lots of fresh hay and oats, he rides me every day, and the water is always clean.'

farmer=(look of disbelief)

ventriloquist='mind if I talk to your SHEEP?'

farmer=(stuttering, and hardly able to talk).... 'th-th-them sheep are nothing but liars!'

2006-09-09 18:33:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

what should i do if i date someone who don't have kids and i do and dont want anymore but everything is going great.

2006-09-09 18:33:02 · 13 answers · asked by missbossy21 1 in Other - Family & Relationships

What do you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend that would make you fall in love for life? And do you believe that marriages last anymore in this day and age? Do you believe in being faithful and commited to someone you love for life? or do you believe long lasting love is over rated and impossible to achieve? please give your reasons behind your thoughts. thank you.

2006-09-09 18:32:55 · 10 answers · asked by succubus_angel_666_777 3 in Singles & Dating

My mom is floating with water and cranberry juice plus she is a dieabetic and has a kidney stone. She just got out of hospital and now has a colostomey, her bladder infec came back, I need some kind of home remedie that works please ..shes my bestfriend and 75.

2006-09-09 18:32:52 · 14 answers · asked by itsmeluhello 1 in Women's Health

*This is a serious question...*

Well, I'm sure I have a big enough one, I'm just wondering what are female preferences to this matter? Does size really matter? The average seems to be 3.5-4.5 Inches, as conducted with surveys, with 2.5 being considered small and 6.5 being considered big.

So, basically, does size count? What is the acceptable size in your opinion?

2006-09-09 18:32:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2006-09-09 18:32:44 · 2 answers · asked by sirsayer21 2 in Marriage & Divorce

could Ive' gotten pregnant today? I already have a 7 month old son!!!

2006-09-09 18:32:37 · 13 answers · asked by Tonia G 3 in Trying to Conceive

What factors define the middle class,poor and rich of our society. I

2006-09-09 18:32:36 · 17 answers · asked by ? 2 in Teaching

When all I said was Good night, kisses, love you? I was only trying to say bye for the day, and they say I commited a violation. I say what I said to everybody I care about in real life, and they don't penalize me. Besides, there are FAR, FAR, FAAAAAAAARRRRR more obscene and offensive questions posted that people should be flat out booted for. What is it with that?

2006-09-09 18:32:24 · 18 answers · asked by Special nobody 5 in Internet

2006-09-09 18:32:22 · 11 answers · asked by Vanessa 3 in Other - Entertainment

so yeah i have this problem, i cant get enough of it, i am always craving sex even if im in the middle of it, i have trouble at work sometimes b/c of it from getting hardons three to four times a day for no reason what can i do to lesson my tension, i guess i just need to find a girlfriend who i can work out these frustrations with daily huh? im being competely serious here

2006-09-09 18:32:18 · 10 answers · asked by naughty coolaid 2 in Singles & Dating

im a gal who is smart but i need to maintain myself i have a nice figure but short heighted what cosmetic i can use plz tel me n wanna make my hairs look beautiful

2006-09-09 18:32:10 · 13 answers · asked by nancy s 1 in Skin & Body

Here's a Star Trek Quiz. First one to give all the right answers gets chosen best answer.

1. Name all the captains of the Enterprise series of ships starting with the show "Enterprise" on up through the storyline.

2006-09-09 18:32:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

Has anyone met FLoyd Lanids?

2006-09-09 18:31:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cycling

i have a freaking huge crush on this guy in my algebra class, and he smiles at me all the time. it's grrrreat. anahahah. so, i just found his myspace. we've never really talked. would it be weird if i added him? oh and, is it weird that once i saw his picture my heart skipped a million beats and it made me really happy to look at him? daaaaaaaaaaang he's fine.

2006-09-09 18:31:53 · 22 answers · asked by jooooooolie 1 in Singles & Dating

to bed, just asking

2006-09-09 18:31:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health

2006-09-09 18:31:43 · 15 answers · asked by lil_weakling562 1 in Singles & Dating

if he screw up would you still have love in ya heart or do you move on forget but you have a beautiful child how would you move on

2006-09-09 18:31:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

2006-09-09 18:31:12 · 6 answers · asked by unsungjoe 1 in Religion & Spirituality

which will be a better dog for an apartment a corgi or a beagle?

2006-09-09 18:31:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dogs

Well? Tell them!

2006-09-09 18:31:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in STDs

2006-09-09 18:30:53 · 15 answers · asked by pilgrimph 1 in Other - Politics & Government

i no this is a weird question 4 a gurl 2 be askin but im gonna ask it anyways....If a boy gets kicked or hit between their legs alot and i mean ALOT does that mean they wont be able 2 have kids or would it matter at all????

2006-09-09 18:30:52 · 24 answers · asked by brandi686 3 in Men's Health

GOT YOU!!! :))))))))) LOL

And you thought it was another one of THOSE QUESTIONS again.

Here is the REAL QUESTION!

Why do you think so many dummies believe this crap?

2006-09-09 18:30:51 · 11 answers · asked by Techguy2396 2 in Astronomy & Space

after you get your permit..how long did you wait till you can get your lisnece...and dont say, 'well depends on your state laws'

thanks =]

2006-09-09 18:30:49 · 6 answers · asked by ♥♥♥♥♥ 1 in Other - Cars & Transportation

was talking with a friend thurs night they're a verizon wireless customer I am not one of our phones dropped the call they called me right back. I asked if I could call back from other phone was told yes but wait about 5 min im about to go through a dead zone well 2 days later the phone is still going to voicemail after only 1 ring makes no since that person would reject my call considering they called me to begin with????

2006-09-09 18:30:37 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cell Phones & Plans

I have blue eyes in case you are wondering. Guys out there do you think blues eyes are hot or a not? Anyways i need contacts because i dont like the feeling of glasses. Thanks

2006-09-09 18:30:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Beauty & Style

I work with this person. we have chemistry and everybody sees it even if its the first time they meet us. We both play around and joke around about being together. It seems like we are soul mates. but the problem is that the person is married with a kid. I know the husband and we get along great and he really likes me as a person, but i feel guilty. I wish i was him

me and this lady have deep conversation. we tell each other everything and i mean everything. I know she is not happy. She does me harm in the sense that what i thought i wanted in a wife was wrong and that she has raised the bar by allot. Maybe to a point that only she can reach. we both keep this secret, but its killing me knowing we are meant for each other. if she were single i know in my heart we would be together forever, i really do

My question is should i leave my job or what. i hate my job, but she makes it ok. I dont really think i will find another person like here. We have done nothing in any sense

2006-09-09 18:30:30 · 3 answers · asked by snowteller 3 in Friends

2006-09-09 18:30:25 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Entertainment

is in jail for 8 months and still have 9 months more to go.what would you do when mansturbation just dont satisfy you anymore.

2006-09-09 18:30:24 · 12 answers · asked by super girl 3 in Marriage & Divorce