Prominent creation scientist Em Adjineri has recently returned from her vacation, where she encountered several omens suggesting the rapture was at hand.
On the first night of her vacation, Em Adjineri saw a skydiver. The skydiver emerged from the clouds and alighted to Earth. (Revelation 1:7)
His hair was white, and his eyes were red (he was old and wore contact lenses to look cool.) (Revelation 1:14)
On his hand was a tattoo of the Pleiades (seven stars), and his beard was shaved to look like a sword. (Revelation 1:16)
On the second night, Em Adjineri went to make some bets at the track, where she saw four horsemen. (Revelation 6)
On her last night, she went to an animal show, where a bunch of seals were locked up in cages. They were then opened one at a time by a lamb. (Revelation 6:1, 6:3, 6:5, 6:7, 6:9, 6:12, and 8:1)
Since all these prophecies from the book of revelation are coming true, isn't the rapture upon us? Repent!
2007-09-29
03:29:22
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21 answers
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asked by
Anonymous