lately i have been feeling depressed. as always, since i was young, happy things have an opposite effect on me- i start to feel depressed. i dont know why, but it's always been like that. on christmas, i feel depressed, on my birthday when I got present, I would want to cry because I didnt deserve those presents or that attention.
well, i dont know where life is taking me. my mother is sick (no physical ailements, just symptoms she has has heart disease) and she burdens me all the time. i want to cry, but i dont want to tell her to stop because I'm afraid she'll become weak and die. like she tells me "oh i shouldn't wait to use this in the spring, i'll be dead by then" and in normal conversations, she starts to lecture me "well, you have to learn how to do this, because i might just drop dead tomorrow." i really dont know if she means to make me sad, maybe not, but it really extremely does. and im not sure if im the only one in my family that feels like this. my friend brought it up
2007-10-28
05:44:17
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14 answers
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Anonymous