I already have a child, who was born early & got seriously ill, nearly died a week before his actual due date, & now has disabilities because of it. I am scared that this one will end up the same way, or worse. I can't feel like this for the next four months, or it might become a self-fufilling prophecy. I'm not normally sad, or depressed, or a worry wart. But my crystal ball is broken, & it seems like all I do now is fret over the birth of this child, when I should simply be enjoying my ability to be able to have kids. I have Paxil, but I don't think I should be taking things like that right now; I haven't taken it in months anyway; & I don't want to start again.
I have talked to people about my feelings, but they dismiss them by saying that there's nothing to worry about. But they're not me, & haven't spent three weeks of their lives in a pediatric ICU waiting for their first born to fight his way back from the very edge of death's door.
I don't know how to stop feeling this way.
2006-09-14
10:08:25
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8 answers
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asked by
a.moore
1