All categories - 13 December 2007

Scottish Jokes and Quips

The mosquitoes, or Midges, as they are known in Scotland may have caused the jumping that developed into Scottish Country Dancing.

It was a grave matter in the old days in Scotland to hear of anyone, that they had "taken to their bed." It was normally a sign of impending death. The Scottish doctor never loitered by the wayside when he heard these ominous words. One wild October evening, Dr. Findlay got a message from a Perthshire farm that Flora MacDonald, the maid, had "taken to her bed." He knew Flora to be an honest lass, and quickly packed his bag and set out for the farm. He was soon shown to the room where Flora lay.
"Well, Flora," he asked, "what is wrong with you ?"
"I am just as you see me Doctor," was her reply.
Dr. Findlay looked at her tongue, felt her pulse, and surveyed her with an experienced eye. There seemed to be nothing wrong with her. She was a beautiful Scottish woman, apparently in glowing health. At last, in reply to his many searching questions, she blurted out, "It's this way, Doctor, I have not been paid any wages for the past six months, and I am going to stay in bed until I am paid my dues."
To Flora's surprise the doctor slipped off his overcoat and jacket.
"What are you going to, doctor ?" she asked, in alarm.
"Move over Flora, move over. I am going to lay beside you. They haven't paid any bills of mine for the past three years !"

2007-12-13 09:44:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens

I started passing out at a young age mostly only when a got shots (I'm 18 now) in fourth grade I passed out in school, they didnt know why I did, they said it was nervous. But in 9th grade it was Jan 13th and I remember leaving school early from a serve headache, that night my mom found me passed out in the bathroom. I wasnt doing anything at the time, i was just in the bathroom, i woke up from my mother yelling at my father telling him to call 911. that was all i remember, the doctors said i had a MIGHT of had a seizer, it MIGHT be stress, and it MIGHT be hormones, they ran tons of tests and didnt find anything. i have been pretty passing out free for a while now, except shots. But recently was the worst. I felt like i was going to throw up or i went to the bathroom, i didnt vomit instead had serve pain everywhere in my body, i couldnt think so i sit down. all i remember was looking at myself on the ground. apparently i walked downstairs and told my parents ...i dont remember.

2007-12-13 09:44:02 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health

2007-12-13 09:44:02 · 31 answers · asked by kelly-love x) 6 in Polls & Surveys

can I safely run them through the dishwasher?

2007-12-13 09:43:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Toys

I need help picking out monologues for a college audition. They have to be around 2 minutes in length. Something very good that can show that a person is really good at acting. help?

2007-12-13 09:43:53 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Theater & Acting

Why? Why not?
If not, what name would you change it to?

2007-12-13 09:43:29 · 31 answers · asked by meeting in the aisle 3 in Polls & Surveys

what the best solution for acne. i started breaking out about 8months ago. My skin is real shiney. Whats a few things you might recomened?

2007-12-13 09:43:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Skin & Body

I am 13 & I just moved from Dallas to Miami. I miss my friends and my family in Dallas so much that I have turned to Vicodin. It's so hard to quit because it's everywhere. I mean at school everybody's got it. I know I need to stop but I can't. It fills the emptiness of Dallas. I'll look at pics of home or talk to friends back home and I get so sad that I just go & pop a few Vicodin's. I think that my problem also is linked to the fact that the reason I had to move in the first place was that we were going bankrupt on our 6000 sq. ft. Million Dollar Home & my dad lost his job at the same time. So now were living in a tiny 2500sq. ft. home in Miami because my Dad got a job here. So it is very rough because not only did I lose my friends and family, I lost my house and my money at the same time. So pretty much Vicodin fills the pain and helps me through theday because when I think back to my old care free life I get sad and pop a Vicodin. What Should I Do????????????? Please Help Me!!!

2007-12-13 09:43:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health

plz i really need help. if u need to send me a link

2007-12-13 09:43:10 · 3 answers · asked by SPAZ 3 in Religion & Spirituality

In GameInformer this last month they had an add for a company that makes replicas of ...cool things. Such as a spartan sword and shield from the movie 300, and a master sword (zelda). Does anyone know the name of this company?

2007-12-13 09:43:09 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Video & Online Games

protestants and catholics do not agree on doctrine neither do mormons and protestants and catholics.

When i speak, i speak my opinion. So does everyone else in the known world.

there are several answers that clarify this question. so anyone who gets it right, in my opinion, will get the points.
I cant talk to my freind because he wont listen, because he cannot accept the truth.

the scriptures do NOT have authority.

you will find that refering to the written word as authoritive will only multiply the idolatry and false witness and false doctrines in the world.

i am a witness of jesus christ. I believe that christianity has lost the truth like paul warned us, in galatians ch 1. the false gospel took control throughout history and the imaginations and false teachings became the prime gospel. i pray that the spirit of God will prove this truth to you and all christians. because after all is said and done we are supposed to fellow citizens in the kingdom of God.

2007-12-13 09:43:09 · 3 answers · asked by Gomakawitnessofjesus 7 in Religion & Spirituality

Well he's my ex-boyfriend he's really hot and we were hooked up during the summer, he was everything a girl would ever want, but during the end of summer, my cousin told me that he was planning to break up with me soo.. i broke up with him first, the truth is i still like him, but he probablly hates me now! what should i do!!

2007-12-13 09:43:07 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Aside from using freeannualcreditreport.com how can I look at all three of my credit reports? I hae already used freeannulacreditreport once this year. I am looking for a good service that isn't a scam and overpriced. Does anyone know of one?

2007-12-13 09:42:52 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Credit

if you were going to buy a male or female dog which one of these would you rather buy?
Mastiff, or Bullmastiff

2007-12-13 09:42:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dogs

I need to buy 8 Christmas presents for my friends. It can't be more than $40 for all of them. What do I get them??

2007-12-13 09:42:44 · 8 answers · asked by ♥Blonde and still LOVING it♥ 4 in Christmas

me and a friend wanna make a web show like icarly only...

is it safe to show your eyes online?

2007-12-13 09:42:36 · 4 answers · asked by starwarslego987654321 2 in Security

which are appropraite to wear as well as work

2007-12-13 09:42:17 · 7 answers · asked by Perfectionist 6 in Fashion & Accessories

The baby came out in the toilet. She went to the ER - they told her everything came out but did no exam and then she went back to a party less than 45minute later. Later she had some cocktails and danced and look fine and happy also. Is this behavior normal or should I be worried. We really wanted a baby and tried for very long - she was worried that she could not have a child. She was 12 weeks or so pregnant. Some say maybe she was not really pregnant as we got engaged only after she announced being pregnant. I'm not sure what is going on. Could it be unreal? Ideas?

2007-12-13 09:42:15 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy

2007-12-13 09:42:15 · 54 answers · asked by April 5 in Military

My ex-wife called and demanded I pay 80 percent of my son's glasses. I told her I would pay half and she said i needed to pay more. I'm just curious if vision is considered medical. I will pay what I have to pay for my son to be able to see, however, she consistely threatens to take me to court for everything. I pay exactly what I'm supposed to and much more. I'm just curious what the law is. Thanks for your advice. Oh i live in NY.

2007-12-13 09:42:09 · 9 answers · asked by analisha2201 2 in Law & Ethics

2007-12-13 09:42:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings

2007-12-13 09:41:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Newborn & Baby

I have a cut on my leg that got sewage water in it when our basement flooded. It has been a week and it still is open. The cut is also red around the edges. Sometimes it really hurts, but mostly it itches. If it is infected, what should I do?

2007-12-13 09:41:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in First Aid

For my emachines desktop computer.

2007-12-13 09:41:15 · 6 answers · asked by Kamizzle7233 1 in Desktops

should i go to bank with a buyer to be on safe side? how about weekends?

2007-12-13 09:41:14 · 24 answers · asked by Sdcd C 1 in Buying & Selling

I have a Russian tortoise. From the research that I have done I know that he needs a great variety in his diet and as little store bought vegetables as possible. However I try to get him to eat many things but he'll just eat romaine lettuce. He eats around everything else. If i give him other stuff and no romaine, he won't eat at all

2007-12-13 09:41:06 · 3 answers · asked by Dan J 1 in Reptiles

Ok this is a contest... Post a link with your picture on it and hottest guy gets best answer!

2007-12-13 09:41:02 · 7 answers · asked by cutie pie 2 in Polls & Surveys

he's a business man....i think he's picky.....but he's nice....my budget is under $50 bucks. i have no idea what to get him....it seems like he has everything.....help......

2007-12-13 09:40:46 · 9 answers · asked by deliciouscutie89 2 in Christmas

2007-12-13 09:40:37 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Football (American)

Post your commett

2007-12-13 09:40:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Society & Culture