All categories - 1 December 2007

A Blonde In A Snow Storm
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm.
She remembered that her dad had once told her, "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
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Believing in Santa
"Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents, so I never got anything!"
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Practical Santa
A little girl wrote to Santa Claus, saying the only thing she wanted for Christmas was a sister.
Santa, touched by the girl's letter, responded instantly, saying "I would love to send you a sister, but first you must send me your mother."
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Snail Mail Santa
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
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You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer If...
... you notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
... someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
... you start kissing the portraits on the wall.
... you see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
... you have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
... you strike a match and light your nose.
... you take off your shoes and to go wading in the macaroni salad.
... you hear a duck quacking, and it's you.
... you complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
... you refill your glass from the fish bowl.
... you tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
... you ask for another ice cube for later and put it in your pocket.
... you yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
... you pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
... you take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
... you waste your best joke on the rubber plant.
... you realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
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Santa
Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!
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An Impotent Man Is Like A Christmas Tree
Q: Why is an impotent man like a Christmas Tree?
A: They both both have balls for decoration.
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Holiday Tampax
Q: Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?
A: It's for the Christmas period.

2007-12-01 21:30:31 · 21 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

I do...

2007-12-01 21:30:06 · 17 answers · asked by ♥Big Bear's Girl♥ 3 in Polls & Surveys

Like I said in my other question we men are indeed a strange bunch. so what is it you ladies hate the most about men?

2007-12-01 21:29:15 · 10 answers · asked by Mickeytopdog 3 in Singles & Dating

First off, this is a serious question so to you anal retentive squares out there: please don't report it.

I am a 23 year old male and I am utterly obsessed with pornography (of the movie kind). Everytime I buy or download a new film I feel like a kid who just got a new bag full of candy. I have over 20 gigabytes of pornographic movies on my computer that I watch on a daily basis. That's ALOT of porn by any standard!

I watch porn between 3 to 10 times per day, depending on my mood, and availability.

My (serious) question is: is this an abnormal amount, and shoudl I seek some kind of help. Or is it normal and not something I should be worried about.

Oh, and just to save time for those of you who would suggest getting a girlfriend. I can tell you that it only intensifies when I have a girlfriend. I watch more porn the more sex I have. (trust me, I know..lol)

I

2007-12-01 21:29:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Men's Health

2007-12-01 21:28:34 · 13 answers · asked by ciara W 2 in Cleaning & Laundry

2007-12-01 21:28:24 · 6 answers · asked by Merve 2 in Astronomy & Space

m=

how can i solve this?

2007-12-01 21:28:19 · 8 answers · asked by creamy goodness 2 in Mathematics

2007-12-01 21:27:54 · 2 answers · asked by Red 3 in Other - Home & Garden

I admit it for you ladies us men are a strange bunch. but what do you like most about us males

2007-12-01 21:27:48 · 9 answers · asked by Mickeytopdog 3 in Singles & Dating

it wont work...it didnt then it did and now it doesnt again.....when i cabibrate it sez its ok...what am i doing wrong?

2007-12-01 21:26:43 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Nintendo Wii

I was watching a show on tv where a wealthy father died without a will. He has recently married a woman from Taiwan and one of his biological daughters was living with him. After his death, the wife kicked out the daughter and ceased all monthly allowances that were given to his girls.

Can the daughters successful and legally contest this. And can a wife of only six months really received everything the husband left behind despite the fact he has children?

The daughter are basically penniless and must rely on their mother and themselves for support.

It seems very unfair..but something tells me because he didnt leave a will, the girls are well..screwed...

2007-12-01 21:25:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Law & Ethics

2007-12-01 21:25:31 · 11 answers · asked by martin.impelido 1 in Other - Holidays

2007-12-01 21:24:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Military

I am Catholic and choose to follow the last guidelines formally given by my faith. I am not saying this is a requirement, but my choice.

The good of our soul is more important than that of our body; and we have to prefer the spiritual welfare of our neighbor to our bodily comforts. If a certain kind of dress constitutes a grave and proximate occasion of sin, and endangers the salvation of your soul and others, it is your duty to give it up. O Christian mothers, if you knew what a future of anxieties and perils, of ill-guarded shame you prepare for your sons and daughters, imprudently getting them accustomed to live scantily dressed and making them lose the sense of modesty, you would be ashamed of yourselves and you would dread the harm you are making of yourselves, the harm which you are causing these children, whom Heaven has entrusted to you to be brought up as Christians."

Pius XII to Catholic Young Women's Groups of Italy

THIS LEAFLET DISTRIBUTED BY: THE LEAGUE FOR MODESTY IN DRESS, NY
The Church speaks about Modesty
Pope Benedict XV has taught very clearly about modesty in an encyclical letter (Sacra Propediem, 1921), commemorating the 7th centenary of the founding of the Franciscan Third Order.





"One can not sufficiently deplore the blindness of so many women of every age and station. Made foolish by a desire to please, they do not see to what degree the indecency of their clothing shocks every honest man and offends God. Most of them would formerly have blushed for such apparel as for a grave fault against Christian modesty. Now it does not suffice to exhibit themselves on public thoroughfares; they do not fear to cross the threshold of churches, to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and even to bear the seducing food of shameful passions to the Eucharistic Table, where one receives the Heavenly Author of Purity

Peace Be With You,
Debra

2007-12-01 21:24:32 · 12 answers · asked by Debra M. Wishing Peace To All 7 in Religion & Spirituality

I have been making monthly payments to the creditors towards the balance that I owe which was about 300 dollars in the beginning. I recieved a letter awhile back saying that If I make my payments on time to the creditor that now deals with my Macy's account, I can have my account reinstated. I have been paying them on time, So I thought had about 80 dollars left to pay but i got a letter from the creditors saying " as per your request, we wish to advise you that your account with the above referenced client is now considered satisfied and has been closed in our office". So I don't know if I'm supposed to call Macy's to see if I can get my card reinstated???.Is it even possible to have a macy's card reinstated?...because that was part of the deal unless they were lying to me. Or should I just wait until I get another letter??. I don't know what to do??? Please Help.

2007-12-01 21:24:31 · 5 answers · asked by sofiesofie 2 in Credit

My Husband is large over 10...it never hurt bad before but now every time we have sex It hurts...I still get satisfied but it hurts inside not in the back or at the Vagina but in the middle...Does any ne know why...I have a doctors apointment this week..There is no dicharges or anything that seems out of the ordinary...

2007-12-01 21:23:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pain & Pain Management

Many atheists claim there's no point to existence and are totally enamored of the THEORY of evolution. But if living creatures evolve in order to survive better, isn't SURVIVAL the point of existence?

2007-12-01 21:23:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

I'm starting to study politics.
Tell me everything you know about each.
And whats the difference between then?
What do they believe in?
Who supports the war?
EVERYTHING.
Please, and thanks in advanced.
best answer gets 10 points..

(p.s please tell me in your own words)

2007-12-01 21:23:05 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics

I submit for you today a modest proposal to help solve the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

For the last 20 years plans advocating “Two states for two people” have gone nowhere. Irregardless of the reasons for why (which I am sure many of you will blame one side or the other) it is doubtful that given another 20 years that this problem will be resolved.

As such I suggest switching two million American Jews with a corresponding number of Palestinians, primarily from the West Bank. While this would end any plans for a Palestinian state such a problem could be ameliorated by renaming either the Gaza strip or Jordan as Palestine.

This would also give a new opportunity to those Palestinians who would now have the freedom to express their unique culture and heritage in the United States as well as the economic opportunities that were before unattainable.

2007-12-01 21:23:04 · 22 answers · asked by Gamla Joe 7 in Israel

2007-12-01 21:22:53 · 7 answers · asked by Umb D 1 in Investing

2007-12-01 21:22:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Comedy

what is the in situ hybridisation result of interpreation with a use of three colors a ) red b) yellow C) green

2007-12-01 21:21:58 · 4 answers · asked by blessedboy 1 in Medicine

We were discussing Evolution in our Bio class the other day and the question came up. Since I come from a Catholic school, most of my classmates believe in it while I kinda think its just a bunch of bullshit...a passage in the Bible that might have been taken too literally or something. What is Creationism really? And how valid a theory is it to even be compared with Darwin's Theory on Evolution?

2007-12-01 21:21:29 · 18 answers · asked by Kapes 3 in Biology

what are the steps i should take?

2007-12-01 21:21:25 · 5 answers · asked by creamy goodness 2 in Mathematics

2007-12-01 21:21:07 · 30 answers · asked by bleeding hearts inc 3 in Polls & Surveys

Why did they not ban gay marriage or outlaw abortion at that time?



After all, these have been the issues that they focus on the most when campaigning to get elected.

Were that afraid that the religious right would no longer have a reason to vote republican if they fulfilled their campaign promises?

2007-12-01 21:20:28 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics

Does any one know the places to see 2007 Christmas lights display around Sydney street? The whole street will be great,
please tell me the street name and suburb !!

2007-12-01 21:19:15 · 6 answers · asked by jack_ella_1113 1 in Christmas

I really have a big problem on how to speed up my metabolism because recently, i had gained weight a lot. Help me please and any recommendations on how to speed up metabolism. What fruits and veggies can help speed my metabolism? thanks in advance!

2007-12-01 21:18:57 · 8 answers · asked by dOniTz 2 in Diet & Fitness

Ok here is the question: Find the equation of the line which is parallel to the line 3x-2y+5=0 and which passes through the point of intersection of the lines 4x+y+3=0 and 5x-2y+8=0

My working:
m=3/2 <--- from 3x-2y+5

(4x+y+3)+k(5x-2y+8)
4x+y+3+5kx-2ky+8k
x(4+5k)+y(1-2k)+(3+8k)
4+5k/2k-1=3/2 <---- gradient of line above
8+10k=6k-3
4k=-11
k=-11/4
(4x+y+3)-11/4(5x-2y+8)
4(4x+y+3)-11(5x-2y+8)
16x+4y+12-55x+22y-88
= -39x+26y-76=0 <------ my answer, however this is wrong and instead it is supposed to be 39x-26y+76=0 according to my textbook.

Where did i go wrong?

2007-12-01 21:18:49 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics

2007-12-01 21:17:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys