A modest Proposal: Switching American Jews for West Bank Palestinians?

Question

I submit for you today a modest proposal to help solve the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

For the last 20 years plans advocating “Two states for two people” have gone nowhere. Irregardless of the reasons for why (which I am sure many of you will blame one side or the other) it is doubtful that given another 20 years that this problem will be resolved.

As such I suggest switching two million American Jews with a corresponding number of Palestinians, primarily from the West Bank. While this would end any plans for a Palestinian state such a problem could be ameliorated by renaming either the Gaza strip or Jordan as Palestine.

This would also give a new opportunity to those Palestinians who would now have the freedom to express their unique culture and heritage in the United States as well as the economic opportunities that were before unattainable.

The American Jews who would be resettled in the West Bank would greatly add to Israeli society and would alleviate fears that Israel is becoming too conservative and religious seeing how most American Jews are liberal and secular. It would also put the majority of Jews in the world in Israel, something that has not happened in over 3,000 years.

While their might be bumps along the way, including complaints of “expulsions” denial of civil “liberties” these things can be ironed out by many well placed bribes and very large weapons that will secure the peace even if you do not like how it is being done.

Before every one bites my head off this is simply a piece of satire, something that should have been obvious from the title “a modest proposal”

I could have rambled on more but I did not want to bore everyone with an entire paper =P. I know some people will not get I was being satirical and will attack me for suggesting this, I could have suggested far worse… For those that get it enjoy, and add on or create one of your own if you wish.

Answer 1

Why would the Palestinians leave THEIR land and live in a land where people hate them and would discriminate against them. The Americans hate Muslims, hate Arabs, and espacially hate Palestinians. If you said bring them to Canada maybe we could discuss that but USA, NO WAY.

Peace

Answer 2

Both the Dem's' and re pubs' can rarely agree on anything even when they want the same thing. Unless you go to c-span you will not see much coverage of third party candidates. Large corporations make huge contributions to candidates they support,you are limited in how much you can donate to a candidate personally. Corporations set up committees and groups to support and fund candidates. The latest bankruptcy laws were written by the banking industry for congress to make into law and it bit them in the butt. The other problem is that some people vote for 1 party all the time,either because they support that party all the time and believe it is the only party to do whats right,or they are dissatisfied with the other party for some reason. Both parties want it their way and will compromise some to get their way. If what I read on the Internet last night is even half true,this election may not matter anyway. If we have another attack like 9/11 or a major disaster before the elections F.E.M.A . will take control and George Bush will become the true power of government. If it happens after the elections and before the new president takes office,I don't know what will happen. G.W. signed an executive order for the continuity of government and F.E.M.A. will take over and suspend the constitution and the President will be the unity executive. Congress and the Supreme Court will still exist but will have very little voice,the President has the final say in all matters. There was also another site talking about the formation of the North American Union (Canada,U.S. and Mexico forming a union like the E.U. and the U.S. Constitution will be gone.

Answer 3

Hmm, and how would you settle money matters and other such practical things?

Palestine is a rural country, not much industry. Many Palestinians are farmers on very small farms without any machinery at all. The landscape prevents large-scale farming as it is done in the US, yet their land is a source of pride to them.

These Palestinians would have huge trouble adjusting in the USA. First they would need to sell their land to Jews, making them pariahs in their society. They would then loose their livelyhood. (In essence they would get far less money for the land than what it is worth for them.) In the US they would be employees, working in minimum wage jobs under a boss instead of being a free farmer. The women would suffer, instead of working in the fields and contributing to the family income they would be confined indoors.

OTOH the American Jews could not replace the Palestinian farmers. They would not have the knowledge how to do so. Prices for food would rise in Israel and many of these aliyah-Jews would have no source of income whatsoever. Do you really think they would stay under these circumstances? When they have been doctors, lawyers or similar in the US?

Worst problem however: Neither of these groups would be terrible willing to go. IMO there is a reason why many American Jews choose to donate to Zionist projects instead of moving to Israel themselves. It is just sad that this money destroys so much - it absolutely wrecks havoc on the peace process. It is a cycle with no end in sight. Zionist groups in the US donate money, the money is used to foster settlements, the settlements and the money spent on them causes unrest from the Palestinians, which in turn leads to more donations from the US to "make Israel safe".

Nah, I think I have a better solution: No more money from private groups in the US for "charity in Israel". Give Israel 5 years without this money and there will be peace.

Answer 4

Um, renaming Jordan into Palestine?

WhyTF would Jordan change its name?

Second, Gaza is part of Palestine. That would be like changing the name of Montreal to Canada!

What good would it do? Why would Palestinians want to live in the USA?

Would not a better trade be to send the 4-5 million Jews to Europe or the USA.

Answer 5

A modest Proposal: Switching Israeli Jews for American/Canadian/Other diaspora countries Palestinians

Answer 6

Too funny, Gamla, and right over too many heads!
But a very interesting idea nonetheless. Anybody who bashes Israel for not being able to make-peace with the Palestinians should try living in Israel's situation for awhile, with several million unhappy Palestinians next-door....

Answer 7

Is thier enough room at the USA's military base (and military prison) in Cuba, for that many newbies?!?

Just kidding.

But "Switching American Jews" sounds racist to me!!! Sorry. I hope I'm reading you wrong!

This is a gutsy try bro, so I gave you a star.

But race-conscious America is not wanting millions of extra Arabs for Homeland Security to "profile".

I think it would be better if Israel paid for the establishment of a new Palestine on open land in an Arab nation.

For example, the Saudi Arabia coast line...with all the newest "green" technology for wind & solar power, and also converting sea water to POWER and "Fresh Water"!

Answer 8

Gamla it seems that you put alot of effort into your thinking and creativity to come up with a new way. As for me though , I'm born in Canada , I'm Canadian and I would never want to live in America. I don't know if Palestinians could give up their homeland and live in America. Also from the Iraq war America has not helped many Iraqis at all to resettle there , although some even worked for the American gov. now their lives are in danger. And America is not helping them. How many Palestinians would want to live in America I don't know. And how many would America take? If any, I don't know , Cheers!

Answer 9

lol....
100 points for creativity!!!
Although my plan for peace is just as good:
The U.S should take all the money it spends on the Mid-East in one year, and divide it evenly with all the Israelis and the Psalestinians. In my estimation, each man, woman, and child would get about $50,000. Next, the U.S should distribute green-cards (immigration papers) to the aforementioned.
I can guarantee that within a week of doing this, there would be peace in the region!
What do you think?

Answer 10

well, your idea is almost as bad as the original modest proposal written by swift.
there have been many such ideas...
it all boils to... if the leaders of the area start caring about their people and not about gaining power and wealth, there will be peace in 2 minutes and people will just live and forget about all the silly flag waving and pissing competitions.

Answer 11

I actually have a better proposal . there are 5 million Palestinian refugees scattered all over the world including in the US. these Palestinians are having a huge problem that nobody wants to accept them as citizens.
nobody wants them . they say that they were kicked out from Palestine . the Israelis say we don't know them and they have nothing to do with Israel but the latest theory into their problem suggests that may be they are the Martians who kept coming in Flying Saucers . anyway those people want somewhere to be accepted as citizens . so maybe and i say may be it is a good solution if the Jews of Israel leave Palestine for them since it is a dry place anyway and go every one to where he came from by getting back the nationalities of their original countries . i think this a good idea if studied thoroughly and adopted by the U.N to help them the way it helped the Jews in 1947 . don't you think?