Recently I met a young man with Asperger's Syndrome and it was the first time in a really long time that I allowed myself to cry-to empathize with somebody. I don't know how true it is, but I feel as if I met him for a reason.
Someone I was speaking to, pointed out perhaps, I met him b/c he was a mirror reflection of what I'd become. I wasn't always like this-but somewhere along the way I became withdrawn, untrusting, completely unfeeling. I sort of learned to numb myself to every feeling/emotion around me and pretended that I didn't care. Only, this young man doesn't have a choice in the way he is, but I do!
Sometimes I find that it is just so much easier to not feel than to face the truth. I come from a history of every type of abuse there is (not that it was a big deal) b/c it just doesn't feel like a big deal anymore. I would punish myself for feeling - eg. cut myself for having sexual feelings etc.
Yesterday, I realized that I never actually dealt with any of my issues.
2007-11-11
07:12:44
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8 answers
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asked by
Belle
3
in
Psychology