Adoption

I Mean Do They Get To Be Picky About Who Is Fostering/Adopting Them? And Does The Mother/Parents Get To Choose Who The Child Is Fostered/Adopted By

2007-12-31 14:56:26 · 8 answers · asked by The Wonderful Me 4

Okay, let's say a friend of yours was engaged to a man she loved, they were dating for two years, and had planned the wedding.

Then he dumps her. She immediately starts dating again, and within a few months she is engaged again.

Some questions: Would she be 'filling a void'? Would this new relationship be a healthy one? Is it fair to her new beau that she didn't really take the time to morn, grieve, and REFLECT on her feelings of loss? And maybe gain acceptance about the life she would have had with potential husband # 1?

This was part of an answer to a question i asked about "filling a void" by adopting a child.

How on gods earth can you compare the above with adoption and haveing kids???

Why is it that people assume ALL adoptive parents dont come to terms with the fact they cant have kids naturally, before adopting???
I am speaking to my mother now on the phone while writing this, and she is fuming at the selfishness of it all!

2007-12-31 09:00:56 · 14 answers · asked by sarahhhhhhh 2

My biological relatives, who I know, did not provide emotional, spiritual or financial support. My adoptive parents provided all of those things. Now that I am older, my biological relatives are pressuring me to spend time with some of the members that I do not like because of their personalities and their lifestyles. They are also pressuring me for financial assistance. Some of them even said I do not "owe" my adoptive parents anything because they are not my blood relatives. Because of these occurances, I am not having any contact with any of my biological family that express or support these ideas. I feel I am handing the situation appropriately but I am wondering what others would feel. What do think? I am doing the correct thing?

2007-12-31 09:00:53 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-31 04:32:44 · 27 answers · asked by Isabel A 4

My husband and I were planning on adopting a child, and it really doesn't matter what race. However, I spoke with a friend yesterday whom has many adopted children, including a latino boy, black girl, and two white children. She says that when she is out in public with them, sometimes people say rude remarks while under the assumption that she, uh, slept with many different people.

I was wondering if this is a common occurrence and how one deals with it?

2007-12-30 18:06:29 · 14 answers · asked by Liz 4

I've been thinking about this for awhile. I am serious about my question and truly want to know what you think. Are there people on here who are asking questions to bait people into answering so that others can come on and tell them how wrong they are? In other words, are some using this as their personal way of debating or attacking views that differ from their own? Or are the questions being asked for valid reasons and wanting everyone to answer?

Reasons I ask this are: the blocking that occurs; the "calling out" that occurs; the overuse of thumbs up/thumbs down for no legitimate reason; the amount of reporting that occurs, etc. I say I'm *serious* about my question because I want to be here to offer answers only if my opinions/knowledge are truly what is being sought.

2007-12-30 16:21:30 · 21 answers · asked by BPD Wife 6

I'm not saying that all the answers are fake about adoption, but I challenge you today to write one thing real that has happened if you are adopted or have placed for adoption.

2007-12-30 15:19:46 · 31 answers · asked by Snow Flake 3

2007-12-30 11:49:46 · 19 answers · asked by Adoptionissadnsick 4

I am not saying that all the answers are negative about adoption, but I challenge you today to write one thing positively that has happened if you are adopted or have placed for adoption.

I will begin- I am so thankful that my birth mom loved me enough to place me for adoption- she did not have to do that- it is sacrificial love to be able to do that. Also I have 2 adopted children- and I praise God for the love of their birth moms. Being adopted for me is very special, I do not feel that I lost out on anything not knowing all about my birth family- however saying this I also respect my birth mom and ask God to bless her everyday of her life.

2007-12-30 10:20:56 · 20 answers · asked by AdoreHim 7

As a firstmom, I have to hear from adoptive parents how I should feel. Why is that necessary? Why are you going to try and place yourself in my shoes, sorry, but TTC does not count, and tell me how you know how I feel?
Why do people like this feel it is also necessary to tell the adoptee how they feel?

2007-12-30 07:09:07 · 14 answers · asked by lahdh4 2

i recently found my biofather and he has asked me to call his mother 'grandma'. now thats all fine and good for a couple of reasons
1. she is fantastic, i love her and she accepts me as one of her own, her words not mine.
2. i have no grandparents left, so the respect issue i have about calling him 'dad' wont apply to her. no one will be hurt but an 'extra' grandma' being around

now the question is, if you were the family of a long lost relative (NO ONE in this family knew of me for 35 years, i just showed up in his life one day) they dont know me from eve, would it be upsetting to you to hear this person calling your mother/grandma, whatever "grandma"
it seems almost disrespectful of me to use this term so early in our relationship. yes she is biologically related, but still a stranger.

whats your thoughts, am i being overly senstive or am i being respectful?

im so confused

2007-12-29 13:43:41 · 27 answers · asked by rachael 5

from vietnam a girl and boy at least when i am 25

2007-12-29 08:38:18 · 8 answers · asked by linzz 2

My friends sister is currently pregnant and wants to give the baby up. My friend (who is the pregnant girls brother) and his wife want to adopt the baby. The sister agreed to give them the baby when it's born but they want to do it all legally. How can I find information about adopting that way for them??

2007-12-29 08:23:41 · 6 answers · asked by Desperately Still 1

In another question regarding trolling for babies this comment was made.

"I personally am against trolling for children on the internet. However, I do find it rather interesting that adoptees who use any means necessary to find their birth parents (just look at the questions in this forum) get so angry that infertile woman try any means necessary to start a family. Each one is "desperate" in their own way and we need to support each other, not chastise."

What are your thoughts? Are the means used for searching for one's biological family in the same illegal and/or ethically wrong category as trolling expectant parents for infants?

2007-12-29 03:51:14 · 14 answers · asked by magic pointe shoes 5

I am not trying to be picky or anything but i am extremely young and wanting to adopt. But i want it to look as if its my own child. As far as age goes.... Ive been told that they dont ever get babies to adopt. Is that everywhere?

2007-12-29 03:11:45 · 19 answers · asked by Tuesday 4

Some people blame the legalization of abortion for the 'lack' of babies to adopt.

But isn't the feminist movement also responsible for Western society's high infertility rates? By most accounts, a woman's fertility starts falling at 30, and to more than 50% by the 40s.

Has our culture taught girls to 'achieve' in other arenas, and minimized the possibility of having a family?

Do most women want to adopt because they spent their fertile years pursuing other goals?

Should we be educating girls about diminishing fertility in schools?

2007-12-28 12:27:49 · 25 answers · asked by Sunny 7

I thought that "birthmother" was a term used by the adoption industry to refer to a woman who had surrendered her parental rights thereby making the child available for adoption. Yet I constantly see any expectant mother who considers adoption called a "birthmother". Sometimes a woman who has chosen to parent is still called a "birthmother".

I assume that adoptive parents learn the misuse of the birthmother term from adoption workers. In fact, I have read that some adoptive parents are very dismayed when they are told by their adoption worker that they MUST address their presentation letters with the term "Dear Birthmother".

So three questions:

Is my understanding of the term "birthmother" correct? "A woman who has signed away her rights as a mother"

If so, why do adoption workers label all women receiving counseling "birthmother"? They still have the option of parenting, don’t they?

Is this misuse of the birthmother term intentional for the purpose of coercion?

2007-12-28 10:06:05 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

why is it, that alot of people on Y/A seem to think that it is wrong for an adoptive parent to want to adopt a child because she cant have kids of her own? Obviously they are going to adopt if they cant have kids!

What is wrong with that?
Why do people think adoptive parents are selfish if they have tried IVF first?

Sorry but i dont understand the big thing. I dont see why anyone should be concerned about that.

If the child is going to have a stable home with loving parents, then why should it matter?

2007-12-28 09:43:33 · 20 answers · asked by sarahhhhhhh 2

I know I'll get terribly flamed for even asking this.

Okay, I know people think I should have adopted in America through foster care, and I have counter arguments for that, but I've made them all before.

But my question really is this...since so many adoptees are upset that they were "stolen from their birthparents", wouldn't the type of adoption I did be preferable??? After all, all the children adopted in China have already been relinquished by their birthfamilies, long before their adoptive families ever came along. The decision was already made. It had nothing to do with who adopted them, or even if ANYONE adopted them.

The choice in China isn't a life with your birth family or a life with an adoptive family. It's a choice between life in an orphanage or life with an adoptive family.

Isn't there a contradiction in first complaining children are being "stolen" and then complaining that people aren't adopting in the U.S.?

Okay, I'm ready for all the flames.

2007-12-28 08:57:13 · 21 answers · asked by LJ 7

I didn't know until recently that it's become a trend to celebrate "adoption day", or "gotcha day". What do you think about celebrating the day someone was adopted?

2007-12-27 21:49:12 · 44 answers · asked by . 4

How would you feel if the truth were printed on birth certificates of people who are adopted? That is, how would you feel if the full names of the biological mother and father, and the full names of the adoptive mother and father were on the birth certificate? What is your reference to adoption, and how would you want each person to be designated?

2007-12-27 15:50:16 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is there any evidence that shows abortion legalization has impacted adoption rates (U.S. and globally)? Please cite source.

2007-12-27 13:46:06 · 5 answers · asked by Tobit 2

Has U.S. adoption changed for the better or worse since the 1970's?

2007-12-27 13:41:59 · 7 answers · asked by Tobit 2

I am interested in finding out more about my son's siblings, all of whom were adopted through Los Angeles County, California. It would be nice to have information about them, and I would also consider setting up meetings if my son wanted to. To those of you who have searched: how would I start going about this? Do you have any websites or phone numbers that might help me? Thank you so much! Aloha :)

2007-12-27 13:24:27 · 7 answers · asked by aloha.girl59 7

When you adopt a family of children, say 5 kids. Do you get any money after the adoption is final.. Say they are a minority, and all brothers and sisters. I was just wondering if you end up paying for everything on your own...

2007-12-27 11:48:38 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have met quite a few adoptees online and IRL who are in reunion with their biological families but have not let their adoptive parents know they have found them. I let my adoptive parents know I had found my nfamily within hours of my discovery.

I guess i would like to know the reasoning behind telling or not telling your adoptive family about your reunion.

Thanks.

2007-12-27 10:18:57 · 15 answers · asked by Isabel A 4

I've seen some posters to Y!A openly trolling for babies, which sickens me on many levels. But I assumed that was the extent of the behavior. Recently, I was horrified to learn, in a private email from a young pregnant woman, that when she asked a question here that referenced her unexpected pregnancy, she received 12 private emails from strangers offering to take her baby without going through proper channels. She said she's heard from other women in the same situation that it's a common occurrence.

How widespread is this problem? Are pregnant women getting targeted for this sort of illegal and immoral behavior simply because they've posted questions and/or answers here?

2007-12-27 08:59:29 · 15 answers · asked by goodquestion 3

Most people have pre-conceived opinions about adoption. Have your ideas changed since you've read questions & answers here?

If so, how?

2007-12-27 02:11:12 · 22 answers · asked by Sunny 7

The symptoms that get identified as being fetal alcohol syndrom could just as easily be primal wound related.

I suspect adopters rather like blaming their child's mother for being "unfit" enough to drink excessively, especially if they couldn't carry a pregnancy. Is that why this condition is more prevelant among the adopted?

2007-12-26 15:16:05 · 21 answers · asked by Adoptionissadnsick 4

for adoption?

2007-12-26 14:21:49 · 12 answers · asked by JuST aNoTHeR GuuRL 1