Wouldn't you love to hear 'real' stories from adopted children (sic) and biological moms here?

Question

I'm not saying that all the answers are fake about adoption, but I challenge you today to write one thing real that has happened if you are adopted or have placed for adoption.

Answer 1

Something that really happened huh, Um, well

In July I flew from my home in London to New York to visit the Agency that handled my adoption. I had questions upon questions upon questions. I really wanted to know if twins run in my family or if it was possible to get updated medical information for the sake of my own kids plus endless other questions.

Do you know what I got for my 3,000 mile flight and high hopes of discovering the truth of my origins? I got
"Heather, your birth is none of your business"

Nice huh

Answer 2

Boy what a question. I have a real story but it's nothing like what i read and I pray everyday that if my son doesn't get his son home what damages are going to be done to this wonderful little boy.
My son has a daughter from the same mother. My son caught her cheating while he was a work. They broke up and she moved in with another guy. he had to take her to court to see his daughter but her own lawyer said he couldn't find her. She was pregnant and my son didn't know the child was his or even that she was pregnant (she hid from him)
Long story short she gave the baby to her new boyfriends family in a state 1,400 miles away. He has been fighting for him for over 2 years. He finally get vitiation with his son. The adopted parents knew about this father but didn't care.
He gets to see his son a weekend every month and this summer for all of July. If the court finally rule in his favor maybe his son will come home for good.
This little boy calls him dad and goes with him real good. He also talks to his big sister which is 4.
Now this couple in court that said their in no way she could have a child is pregnant. What is going to happen to this little angel . Are they going to treat him different since they can't adopt him? Is he going to grow up not trusting the illegal system.?

Answer 3

Well I was adopted 37 years ago. It was a closed adoption. I have been very frustrated by the fact that I can not find out any info regarding my birth parents. No names, nothing. The organization I was adopted through, Catholic Charities would like me to pay them $300 to do a search that may or may not come up with anything! Another thing I would like to say about adoption is, my parents adopted 2 children and had one biological child. While I never felt like they cared more for one or the other, I do remember and still do feel a sense of lonliness and a feeling of not fitting in, no matter how hard I try. I really believe a child's personality is something they are born with and receive from their biological parents. I love my adopted parents with all my heart, but I still have that wondering every single day about my biological family.

Answer 4

In June of 1999, I went to Catholic Human Services to see about adoption. I met with the counselor, and we did decide that for the time being, it would be best. But if something were to happen that I could keep the baby, I would keep her. I looked through portfolios and picked 3. I got a call from Doree that one of the adoptive parents had flown in and were in the area, all on a whim. They had a feeling, and so did I. learned by talking with them that, my middle name and mom's was the same. We had the same religious beliefs. And had alot in common. They already had an oder boy, I had one son at the time, so she would have an older brother to bug her no matter where she went.
When I gave birth to her, it was 9-9-99.
I do see and keep in contact with her. She has the life I want. She models, does gymnastics, rides horses, sails, surfs, does ballet. All sorts of things that I never had the opportunity to do.

She knows exactly who I am. She calls me birthma.

Answer 5

I was born in 1986 to a wonderful 20 year old woman. My adoptive parents and my birthmother exchanged letters and pictures for the first two years of my life. When I was two my parents asked my birthmom if she would like to meet me and she had to think about but decided that she would like to meet me. I can happily say we have been in each others lives since then. I was in her wedding, I'm close to her kids (my half siblings), and her family. My parents and birthmom are also close. I never once have wanted to alter any part of my life. I am happy and proud to say I am an adoptee.

Answer 6

I, too, was adopted through Catholic Charities. My adoptive parents cared for me. I felt like they loved me as much as they loved their three bio children (that they had after me). They did the best they could. Their divorce made that difficult, but they still showed all four of their children as much love as they could muster.

Despite being loved and cared for, I have felt like an outsider all of my life. I felt as though I had to take care of myself and find my own way through life. I don't think my adoptive parents did anything wrong. But there was something missing. Something I'm only now beginning to understand since I've found my first mother.

That's what so many people seem to fail to understand. Adoption can have good outcomes. Good things can come from adoption. I love my adoptive family, and I'm glad I know them. That's a positive. But that doesn't change the fact that something bad happened at the beginning of my life. People like to point out that some parents cannot or do not care for their children and thus conclude that it's better to give up the child. That might be true. But the point is, that inability to care is itself a bad event that happened to the child. At its core, adoption is about loss. The child lost it's original parents. That loss can be made worse if the child was actually neglected by its original parents. That means there was pain right at the beginning of the child's life. And if the parents did care, but had to give the child up because of pressure from family or elsewhere, that too is a loss. Adoption is born in tragedy. It doesn't matter if the child feels it (though many report being affected the rest of their lives). The fact is, that adoption only happens because of something bad happening (sometimes, several bad things).

For that reason, if nothing else, adoption is not something to celebrate. I understand the child may be better off, but it doesn't make the original tragedy any less tragic.

Answer 7

I'm not sure who you are referring to on this site. Most of the people on here are either people who have adopted or adoptees. I am 32 and was adopted from Korea at the age of 23 months old. I had a very normal, happy childhood and feel very positive towards adoption. My parents had 2 biological children then felt led by God to adopt a child. My father is a minister so their religious "calling" is a large presence in their lives. I have a wonderful family, not perfect, but they are great for me. I am happily married and have no qualms, regrets, or bitterness about being adopted. I feel for those who do and hope they are able to one day find peace. I've never wanted to seek out a r'ship with my birth parents although it would be almost impossible even if I wanted that. I was simply dropped off by someone on the doorstep so no one knows very much about where I came from or who dropped me off. All they can say is that I was 17 months when I was left on the doorstep, so I was with my birth mother for at least that long. I can't imagine how difficult that was for her to make that choice. My records say I was severely malnourished when they got me, so I'm guessing she just felt she could not care for me the way a child deserves. I personally feel God blessed me with a new chance, a new family, and all the love a child could have but that is my truth, my experience. I genuinely wish everyone who was adopted had a good experience but from reading things on here, I see that isn't true and it just breaks my heart.

Answer 8

i was adopted at 11 days old. my birthmother had 3 more kids after me and kept them but thats ok and i guess that i dont really remember anything really
i was in a foster home for 10 days and i had a little pink bow in my hair.
i am now 13

Answer 9

Since so many have told stories from their own point of view, I'll try a different direction...

Whenever I talked about my adoption as a child, I only talked with my mom. Somehow HER position in my life was the thing I questioned. I never questioned MY presence in her life...I was a kid, and of course I thought the world revolved around me. It is only in the last year or two that I realized that I never, not once spoke to my dad about my adoption. I think he radiated a peace and a calm and a loving presence that just did not need to be questioned or challenged.

Until just recently I was living in Europe, in a country where adoption is still not widely accepted, and certainly not spoken about openly. It just so happens that a good friend there had a daughter from a previous (very short, very troubled) marriage. Her second husband (who reminds me so much of my own dad) wanted to adopt his step-daughter...but the family, society, nay-sayers were whipsering in his ear and making him pause when he knew in his heart that he should just go rushing in. I pulled him aside one day and told him about me, and my story, and how I thought my dad was THE person who came closest to offering me perfectly unconditional love. I was the only person he knew that could talk to him with the authority of personal experience. Although talking openly about my adoption was rather a big shock for him, it was also the thing that finally made him act. They are all very happy that the situation they all felt in their hearts is now "official." And I like to think that I played a small part in that.

Answer 10

My first mother was really sent across state lines to a Crittenton home to "hide her shame." I was really born two months premature in 1965, really spent a month in a incubator and a month in a foster home and then went home with my a'parents looking like a newborn.

And I really got teased about being adopted. For some reason folks don't want to believe that. But we all know kids pick on each other.

I had a good adoption and love my a'parents dearly, but, as Phil said, I've spent my life on the outside looking in. While this has made me a better creative writer, it's a lonely way to live.